OMFG!!! How would you handle this??(Mild gay content)

[Talk2BigSteve]

Tonight I get a phone call from David. He is crying but he won't tell me what is wrong. He asks me to meet him at the Joe Muggs at Books-A-Million, he has to tell me something face to face. So I haul ass there thinking something is terribly wrong.

I get there and he is out on the porch and he has stopped crying but you can tell he has been. I go in and come back out to the porch and sit down with him.

I again ask him what is wrong.....

And he [censored] tells me!!!

But when the first words out of someones mouth are "Steve you know I love you but" When you hear the words "You know I love you but" you know you are in for one hell of a story so you better be sitting down!!!

Well after the but he continues to tell me that he knows that he is gay and all but he has "experimented" with being straight. The he starts crying again...

He then drops the bomb on me!!!

He had gone out with a girl from MCC(Meridian Community College)a couple times a few weeks ago and they had sex and she told him today she missed her period and found out that she is pregnant over a week ago but was scared to tell him. [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

Well we have been going out for just a week, we have been freinds for a few years and I had know that he was questioning things due to his parent's christian beliefs. (This is not a bash christians post so don't flame) What I did not know is that he had gone out with this girl or that he had sex with her.

He then goes on to say that he knows he will be a supporting father, but he is not ready to be a dad. He definately does not want to get married. He said if I leave him over this he completely understands, but does not want this to ruin the friendship that we have had for a few years.

I told him that this is alot to take in right now, and the best thing for the both of us, is to just take some time to think about things.

So what the [censored] should I do now with Mr. A1 Steak Sauce???

I need some advice!!!

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]

So what the [censored] should I do now with Mr. A1 Steak Sauce???

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a pretty hard question to answer from the outside, I think. I got the impression from your previous post that you really like him. On the other hand, above and beyond the cheating issues, any kind of long term relationship with this guy is going to potentially involve his kid, which is probably something that I'm guessing you're not too used to thinking about. That seems likely to be a crapload of drama and complications, even more than normal given what it sounds like the situation with his parents is.

Hmmm, maybe it's not as hard to answer as I thought. Things seem likely to get super messy and unpleasant. That's not necessarily a bad thing if you're really, really positive that you think it's worth fighting through that. But I'm guessing you probably don't. So I think maybe the right move is to scale back the romantic portion of your relationship with this guy and find another man. If you can do this and still be friends with him, I think that would be good, but I think he seems likely to be way too much trouble for an intimate relationship.

[krazyace5]

A-1 steak sauce IS mass produced...

Make sure he gets a dna test, it could be anyones baby, maybe yours [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] Just ask Maury! lol

[Talk2BigSteve]

It is hard to figure out because it is not really a cheating issue, as we were not dating a few weeks ago. Also he recongizes that there is a difference between a father and a dad, which IMHO is a plus.

But I do not want kids (at least now), and not for the reasons that you may think. I live in Bible Belt and I refuse to have my child teased by other kids because they have 2 daddies.

I don't know what to do.

(Side note: I started smoking again! This was just too much!)

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[jakethebake]

Drop him like a steak with A1 on it.

[LazyRobot]

Go Here

"Well we have been going out for just a week"

Cya A1 sauce...

[JackWilson]

I don't see what the big issue is. Support him for now (as a friend) and see how the situation develops over a while. It's a shock, sure, but it's not like you and him were super-close in a relationship context so IMO you don't have to do anything right now. This is something he has to sort out for himself. There doesn't seem to be anything for you to think about at the moment. Just take it easy and let him take the lead with this.

However, I would be quite concerned that he engaged in unprotected sex with a girl as "an experiment". I know I don't have to say any more on this.

[2+2 wannabe]

[ QUOTE ]
Support him for now (as a friend) and see how the situation develops over a while.

[/ QUOTE ]

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]
It is hard to figure out because it is not really a cheating issue, as we were not dating a few weeks ago. Also he recongizes that there is a difference between a father and a dad, which IMHO is a plus.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, I'd missed that before. That's one less strike against him, then. However, particularly since it sounds like you guys haven't been in the romantic framework very long, it seems possible that you might still be able to successfully back off from that and remain friends with this guy, which in my opinion is likely to be the best thing for everybody involved. It strikes me as a basically good thing to try and help him out through this, but doing so in a way that ties you to the situation as little as possible seems likely to be much better for you.

[ QUOTE ]
But I do not want kids (at least now), and not for the reasons that you may think. I live in Bible Belt and I refuse to have my child teased by other kids because they have 2 daddies.

[/ QUOTE ]

I understand. Even if you wanted kids, though, I think this situation would still be incredibly awkward. What is likely to be particularly bad about it is that not only will there be a kid, but a kid that A1 guy is going to probably feel pretty strangely about, and a kid that his God-fearing parents are likely to give him incredible [censored] about, assuming they find about it. So he's going to be in a pretty freaked out state of mind, which doesn't seem conducive to a good relationship.

Is the woman definitely keeping the baby?

[cnfuzzd]

quid pro quo.

I would recommend being completely honest with boy about your feelings on the situation, whatever they may be. You are in no way responsible here, so dont let the good friend aspect of your relationship with boy subvert the signficant other part.

If you feel like you shouldnt be going out with boy any more, well, tell him you want to put things on hold to reduce the emotional pressure he is facing, then dump the bi curious bastard later. However, that seems pretty irrational since he didnt cheat on you, and who really cares if he wanted to chase some vag for awhile?

Also, i personally would find out what his thoughts are on the whole having children thing, and hers, and perhaps encourage them to look for options outside of keeping the child, either abortion or adoption. It doesnt really sound like either of these kids are ready to be parents, and they are probably not emotionally stable enough to be rational. Be there, be supportive, but also be ready to help boy figure out what is best for *his* future, not this ill-concieved gay-spawn. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

ok, the quid quo pro part.

Most heterosexuals who upon breaking up with someone and finding out that later became gay have two responses, almost uniformly divided along lines of sex. Males are almost always ok with it, because the ex is now cleaning carpet, which is hot. Chicks are usually not ok because it means that she hurt the boy somehow. Or whatever.

Does this same feeling occur in homosexual relationships? Whats that like?

peace

john nickle