Jon: But it could be you or me!

As long as he can allow some time for wine,women, and song, if poker is Jon's greatest passion; so what? There are worse things in this world.


Mary

Dave,

I have always enjoyed reading your posts, and you have provided me with very strong insights into the game and how to think about it. This post I think is one of the most important things I've ever read on this forum, and I wish to God I had read it before I went to the Taj last weekend. It's been 6 days since that devastating day, and I am just now able to eat solid foods again and to smile and laugh with my friends. It is tough, but you know what? It may have been the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm gonna grind my way back. I'm gonna start over. I'm taking a break from the casino till Thanksgiving, and when I go back it will be to play 3-6 and have a good time playing solid cards. And I'm not gonna lose more than I can afford to. Playing with the big boys just isn't worth it to me; I don't know, I was at this sort of place where I could go either way in poker. Keep playing small, and accumulating small wins or go for a big score and move up permanently. As you can tell, I made the wrong decision. I'm working on it =). Thanks for the smart words. And for those interested, Jon is an alias...I've actually posted on here for awhile and some of you may know me. I will see you guys again.


Jon

Poker has been my sole source of income for a number of years now. Yet I can honestly say I would not feel devastated if I were told I could no longer play the game (provided I could find another job). If I experienced a horrible unending losing streak, I believe I would quit the game before reaching the point of devastation. However, I am less likely to reach that point than most others of similar ability due to my conservative approach to bankroll management. I did not play 10-20 until I had around 10 times Jon's $1400 bankroll. I'm not claiming that my conservative approach is better...just better for me.


Nevertheless, I do know what it is like to feel lost and devastated. I spent well over a decade pursuing a career in another field until I finally came to the decision that it was not for me. It was frightening and disorienting to give that up, changing the course of my life. It was also liberating and exhilarating. It was then that I began to play poker seriously.


Times of crisis are also times of opportunity. It takes COURAGE to re-evaluate your life's priorities and implement appropriate changes. I hope Jon finds the courage.


Mike

If I ever did loose my bankroll, I would be far from broke and hopefully not devastated. This is because I define my "bankroll" as that amount of money which I think I could lose without suffering financially or emotionally devastating consequences.


...but please don't ask about my stock market bankroll! [img]/images/frown.gif[/img]


Mike

"Nevertheless, I do know what it is like to feel lost and devastated. "


Mike,


Excellant post. I just want to focus on the above for a moment. I have felt like Jon. Not entirely because I lost a large sum of money. I had studied and studied and played and gained some experience and built a little poker bankroll then I had a comparetively huge loss. The money that I lost did not leave me broke nor did it put a huge whole in my total BR. I'll admit that it dented it quite a bit. No, the money wasn't the whole story for me. My devastation was mainly caused by the lack of confidence that goes with losing badly at something you believe you are very good at. I questioned myself and my abilities. I felt like a loser and did not see how it would ever be possible for me to win again. I had lost before but the first time I felt like Jon was because of a huge loss and a big ego. Yes, I have felt that way a number of times. I hope Jon understands that. Sometimes you go through this self analysis thing many times and quite frankly I won't be surprised if it happens a gain to me. Just disappointed.


Vince

I think it's okay to take shots at bigger games with a small bankroll provided your not prone to tilt.


It's difficult to build a decent bankroll playing only small limit.


The smaller your bankroll the less the concept of scared money should matter.


Next time you build a 1.4 bankroll consider takeing a 7-8 hundred dollar shot when conditions warrent. If you play well you don't have far to fall yet much to gain. Good Luck!

I'm of the opinion that maintaining interests outside the cardroom helps one realize their goals inside the card room.


I never intended to imply that there was anything the matter with being passionate about poker.

Jon, Vince, Mike, Mary, et. al. I just want to let you all know that I have also had several "devastating" days at the tables. The second time that I played 15-30 hold-em, I won 300 in about 1/2 hour, went looney and gave it back plus the original 600 I bought in for. It was my responsibility to hold onto at least PART of that money, but I failed to do that. After that intense $900 swing, I felt like an idiot, beat myself up for about a week and then decided that it was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I have NEVER done that again at ANY limit. In fact, after that experience I have never gotten up from the table without at least a few chips left. I have not even been "all in" at any session since that day. The experience of losing is often the first step to understanding your relationship with money, with the game and with your perception of your abilities as a poker player. If I "catch" myself losing more than my share of chips, I just GET UP (at least for awhile) and re-evaluate whether I should be playing at that time, at that limit, at that table, etc. I've learned from many years in the stock market that the "first loss" is often the "best loss". Simply put, when you are beat financially, emotionally or professionally it's best to go home and regroup. One of the HARDEST things to do is QUIT when losing. It's also hard to quit when winning. One commandment of poker (or any other game of chance) is "THOU SHALT NOT CHASE". As many of my poker pals here have said, "THOU SHALT NOT PLAY WITH SCARED MONEY". There are many other commandments which we must honor if we are to be successful in poker as well as life. Jon, please learn from your experience and rebuild from a postion of strength. Play the lower limits and regain your confidence. Keep talking to the great guys (and gals) on this website. Learn and grow. Hang in there, buddy. I'll be waiting to hear some success stories from you for many years to come.....

Good point Vince. The loss of ego generally hurts more than the loss of money. My self-esteem is most at risk when I'm not playing poker. Though I have never felt "devastated" in relation to poker, I have certainly had my confidence shaken during bad runs.


Mike