Losing At Love And Poker. **LAST EVER POST**

[Al Mirpuri]

This is a valedictory address.

The love of my life is to marry someone else.

She cited my poker playing as one reason why our relationship failed. She cited one particular occasion, where I chose poker over her as the moment it was over for her.

I gave my extensive poker book collection to a charity store. I cannot look at a poker book. I kept only two books that, ironically, she bought for me one Christmas as gifts during a happier time.

Overrall, I am only a small cash loser at poker (thanks to these forums). I lost one girl because of poker but I will not lose another. I have a behavioural addiction when it comes to poker. For me it was an escape from the harsh realities of my life. I have played big and small but it was never a case of earning a living at it. I have played poker on and off for twenty years. I came across it when Draw was the biggest game in the world and I am leaving it whilst Hold'em has that distinction.

I have had some great times here. Though I have only ever met one two plus two-er by chance this forum fosters a curious sense of community. Many posts exasperated me. Some of my posts exasperated many.

I want to wish all of you posting here well. I want to particularly thank Dr Schoonmaker for writing a great book and being unflinching in his analysis of player psyches. Doc, poker did not make me rich but took up precious energy and time. It cost me the love of my life. Never again.

I will return here during this week to read any replies but not after that. Please do not expect me to reply in print though.

Good luck, everyone. Keep living and winning!

[aLOWdAkING]

Wow man, I was laughing at the title, but now that I read your story I'm really sorry for you. Hope everything turns out alright for you bro.

[Exsubmariner]

This post breaks my heart.
Funny thing about regret.
It is always better to regret the things you have done than the things you haven't.
If I were in your shoes....and this comes from having not followed my heart once and regretting it ever since...I would tell her what I did with my books. Swear to her that if she comes back to you you will never play again and if you do, she can cut off your balls. Tell her she is more important to you than anything in the world and you know that now and will make your world around her and for her. If she does not come back to you, get some of your friends together, kick her new beau's ass and then leave town for Vegas, buy your books back and become a winner.
If this is a troll post I swear I will troll you every chance I get from here to the end of time.
Good luck to you friend.
No regrets.

[AnyTwoCanLose]

Was it really "poker" that screwed things up... or was it deeper than that?

You need to move on... don't waste time thinking about getting her back. Even if you do... things will never be the same.

[Josh W]

[ QUOTE ]
She cited my poker playing as one reason why our relationship failed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm reminded of the scene in "What about Bob", where Bob's shrink asks him if he's married, and he say's he's divorced (I've only seen the movie once, so if I get this wrong, my apologies). Shrink asks why divorced, and Bob says "there's two types of people in this world...those who love Neil Diamond and those who hate Neil Diamond", then shrink asks " you don't think your obsessive compulsive behaviour had anything to do with it?"

I disagree with the other poster who thinks you should go begging for another chance...she's moved on, and while yes, that hurts, it's time for you to move on, as well.

I'm sure you are very happy for her if she's happy, and so instead of thinking about what might have been, you owe it to yourself, her, and your friends to make yourself as possible. You owe it to these people (yourself included) to get on with your life (with or without poker) and eventually meet the person you are supposed to be with.

I get the feeling it wasn't actually poker...your personalities just didn't mesh perfectly. What if you had never peaked at hole cards in your life...but instead went out with your buddies, then she'd complain that once you chose your friends over her. If you guys happened to go to the Main Street Tavern, would you blame the Main Street Tavern for losing the love of your life? Of course not.

If poker is important to you, play it, and find somebody who can accept it. If it's not that important to you and it BOTHERS (present tense) somebody close to you, then don't. But to stop playing because years ago it would have made a difference is silly.

The last thing you should be doing now is changing your life to make somebody FROM THE PAST happy. Worry more about the present and future.

Josh

[heropretend]

i wish you the best in life. your story brought to my attention that pokerplaying is changing thousands of lives right now, and its not just the loss/exchange of wealth. whatever moment you gave the impression you chose poker over this girl, it can't be taken back. if you learned anything here I'm sure it is to learn from your mistakes. good luck.

[dutchbrodymoss]

it's not your poker playing that made you lose her. she left you. it had nothing to do with poker.

i think you should just be yourself. do what makes you happy. and find somebody that will appreciate you for what you do.

if poker is what you enjoy. keep on doing it. and one day you'll find somebody that understands.

never give up man.

[Larimani]

what the hell do you know??? Maybe poker was the reason. If as OP says, he has a behavioural addiction to poker, it may very well be the reason for his marriage breakdown.

I won't give OP any advice, because I don't know anything about him.

I just wish him better luck in the future whatever decision he makes.

[texasholdemnut]

Being 38, and divorced twice, and now living with my 1st X, I won't offer any advise for obvious reasons. I will say, it's human nature to take things for granted when we have them, and when they're gone, is only when clarity enters your mind, and you realize how much they meant to you. But remember, moving on is a simple thing, it's what you leave behind thats hard. Good luck too you, I hope all goes well.

[Guthrie]

Women come and go. Poker is forever. Prioritize.