Sucker's 2 day Hangover trip report: The Chinese

[Ulysses]

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I would like to hereby take credit for discovering and naming "The Chinese", as Diablo will attest.

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I do not believe that is correct. Evan and I used to go there long before your indoctrination to the glory of The Buddha Bar. And it has always been The Chinese.

However, the following is among the greatest episodes ever to transpire at The Buddha Bar:

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Mark, that
rat bastard, was trying to hold out the good stuff
from me.

"What's that? Can I try it?"
"No, no, no. Only Chinese people drink that."
"Do you drink it?" [Mark is very Chinese]
"NO WAY!"
"I want it. Gimmee The Chinese! Gimmee The Chinese! Gimmee The Chinese!"
I think I ordered 5 shots for 3 people and ended up having
to drink 3 and a half of them.


[/ QUOTE ]

To fully understand and appreciate this, you must envision a very drunk guy nearly 8 feet tall with very long arms at full extension screaming at the top of his lungs "GIVE ME THE CHINESE! I WANT THE CHINESE!"

mosta, was this the same night as the ill-fated dice match for the tab?

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I forgot my best description of it, something like syrupy mouthwash
crossed with a dirty shoe.

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I believe you aptly described it as cough syrup soaked in dirty shoe, the best description ever.

[B Dids]

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of course there's animosity. the chick was smokin hot.

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I wonder if Gab followed through and hooked up w/ her or if he just screwed you over out of spite and merely cock-blocked you.

If anyone is interested, I can provide background on this tragic story.

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I think on the behalf of everybody, we're interested.

[mosta]

are you trying to claim that you drank The
Chinese before I discovered it? (you definitely
went to the bar first.) I don't remember if
that's the same visit where Mark played his
dice hand blind at first and I matched him to be
sporting, no one pitched in anything when I
lost, someone stole my keys, and I slept outside
the front door of the apartment one floor above
my apartment until the resident found me there
at 6 in the morning. (despite the state I was
in when I got home to my building without keys,
I think I was still clever enough to call myself
on the box, which rang to my cell phone, so I
could buzz myself into the bldg. if only I'd
been able to find the right
floor for my apartment my girlfriend _might_
have let me in.)

[Boris]

oh you just had to ask didn't you?! nosy bastard.

[stabn]

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oh you just had to ask didn't you?! nosy bastard.

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You could tell it yourself if you want to change the slant a bit [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

[Boris]

basically I'm fat and bald but I had this totally hot 250 pound chick groovin on me cuz I bought her a shot of The Chinese. she game me digits and everything but I was so drunk I couldn't remember. But then GoG enters the picture and he's like yea I'm so young and handsome and rich and I'm going to Berkeley and bla, bla, bla... well WTF man?

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
are you trying to claim that you drank The
Chinese before I discovered it?

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Yes, Ev and I and some of our soccer friends had The Chinese.

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I don't remember if
that's the same visit where Mark played his
dice hand blind at first and I matched him to be
sporting, no one pitched in anything when I
lost, someone stole my keys, and I slept outside
the front door of the apartment one floor above
my apartment until the resident found me there
at 6 in the morning. (despite the state I was
in when I got home to my building without keys,
I think I was still clever enough to call myself
on the box, which rang to my cell phone, so I
could buzz myself into the bldg. if only I'd
been able to find the right
floor for my apartment my girlfriend _might_
have let me in.)

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, pretty sure that's the night. Also, you did not match his blind dice play. Nobody pitched in because you LOST TO HIM AT DICE WHEN HE WAS PLAYING BLIND AND YOU WEREN'T.

[haakee]

So, you won?

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
of course there's animosity. the chick was smokin hot.

[/ QUOTE ]

I wonder if Gab followed through and hooked up w/ her or if he just screwed you over out of spite and merely cock-blocked you.

If anyone is interested, I can provide background on this tragic story.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think on the behalf of everybody, we're interested.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK, since you asked.

A few of us are out, a few weeks ago or so (maybe a couple months ago). I believe it was me, Boris, and Gab and another buddy. I made a jukeboxing post for this night which included two Pixies songs.

I think we went to Yuet Lee for some Chinese food and then proceeded to the Buddha Bar. There was a motley cast of characters there as usual and we interacted with a few of them. One was a fun grain-fed midwestern heifer with a very good demeanor. Boris was his usual charming self (We were all impressed at him hitting on this one really cute chick, only to be thwarted when her boyfriend came over and started kissing her) and had his pick of the ladies. Well, he suavely bought the fattish chick a shot of The Chinese (and maybe he bought her gayish dude roommate as well, a smooth move). This opened the door to conversation and, basically, it was on. He's a Montana guy and likes his women to be able to survive a harsh winter.

OK, here is where things get tricky. At some point, there were numbers exchanged. Now, apparently, Gab was somehow tangentially involved in all these discussions as well. But, the fat chick's number was entered into Boris' phone. So, a couple hours later, back at the house at like 2:30am (after bar closing), when Boris' phone rang and it was the big-boned girl, there was a lot of confusion as to who was being called. Gab seemed to think that he had gotten her number but for some reason had used Boris' phone to store it or something. So, I think they both talked to her on the phone for a while, and then she was called again a while later and Gab talked to her for a while. Boris decided he wanted to sleep so he'd let Gab have this one (AS LONG AS GAB DID NOT WASTE THE OPPORTUNITY), but I think Gab decided to NOT nail her that night and I'm worried that he might have NEVER CALLED HER and ended up merely cock-blocking Boris and not doing anything with her.

I hope Boris and Gab chime in w/ their thoughts, as much of this is a little hazy for me.

[Josh W]

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He's a Montana guy and likes his women to be able to survive a harsh winter.


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This is the single funniest thing I've ever read on 2+2.