Post Request -- El Diablo : The Biography

[Ulysses]

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Look, I gotta do something to make up for all the times Sucker sticks me w/ the tab.

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I find this interesting considering Sucker was my source.

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Lemme explain how it goes down. Sucker is very generous, so he buys a round or two early. He is also a lightweight, so he gets blitzed out of his skull. Thus, he has no recollection of the next dozen rounds and believes they somehow just magically appear.

[J.A.Sucker]

Nobody likes a rat. Since you're like 23 feet tall, the next time I see you, I'm going to get out my stepladder and kick your ass.

[chesspain]

All I've been able to tell is that he seems way too enamoured with food and food preparation.

[samjjones]

The details of El Diablo's life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. His father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. El Diablo's childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring he'd make meat helmets. When he was insolent he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve he received his first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved his testicles. El Diablo says there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- he highly suggests you try it.