Straight up...no bull - Poker or the girl?

You hit the nail on the head. Most people think an addition = problem. And they also think it's ALLWAYS in the driver's seat. This is so NOT true.


I would expect most posters don't have a problem. We all have sane, maybe strange but sane, ways of ensuring it doesn't get the best of us.


I think that's what the girl/woman wants to hear/see. Now if Whiskey admits to the "addiction" and shows he's got it under control -- I really mean show -- then it's a trust issue. And, if she doesn't trust Whiskey well you make the connection.


If he gives up gambling just for her, eventually he wil resent her because the trust thing will creep up in other areas. Now if Whiskey gives up gambling for himself, then it's a clean slate. He's happy because it's for him. This will not strain the relationship. But the relationship still needs to be cared for -- doing one thing, albeit a big one, does not make for a reletionship.

If you have to ask the question, she's probably not "the one". If she is, you shouldn't have any doubt about what the right choice is.

Sounds like you already have made up your mind, then!


If she played poker, she'd understand that not only are home games usually more "gambling" than casino games, but also as you say, a home game can be corrupt. In addition to cheating potential, there is also the matter of physical safety. The last thing you need is a drunk tilted player coming across the table at you to reclaim "his" money. I've had this situation both in casinos and in home games, and as a female, let me tell you that is scary. I certainly prefer to have casino security handling the situation, I can tell you that.


With patience and calm fact-based explanations, I expect she could come around to appreciating poker as a hobby for you. Try to classify it for her as being a game in the same category as chess, or bridge. Don't forget equally to talk scornfully of games such as keno, slots, and roulette, even blackjack. [img]/images/biggrin.gif[/img] Good luck!


QT

None of ya got it right yet. When ya get home just give her a $100 bill. Then see how she likes ya playin.

Whiskey- Ok...I've read all the "right responses" to your post. Here is the bottom line as Babe sees it. I take it that poker is not your "career" and that you are of a young enough age that you either: a) have another "job" which pays your expenses or b) could have (and could "choose" to have) another "job" (if you don't already) which might satisfy your income needs. This to me is the first and primary issue. If you do not make your income from poker, it's only a "hobby" like golf or whatever, eh? So..ok, since it's a hobby, you could give it up without any financical ramifications and live happily ever after with the girl. HOWEVER, if your income is derived from poker and solely from poker, and if you choose not to lose the girl, then you have no choice but to keep the girl and: 1) go broke (I'm sure she would like that), 2) keep the girl and find other "income" (perhaps bank robbery?), or 3) keep the girl and try to explain that poker (like being in the Marines) is not an "adventure" - it's a job!. Oh..there is one other option- find another girl. It is my experience that people do not change their "fundamental" beliefs and values, especially when religious, motivational and life style preferences are concerned. I know three poker players (pros) who are involved with significant others that devalue the poker playing "lifestyle". In three of three cases, the relationships are in trouble. Bottom line- "no bull": If you can give up poker without any financial or psychological repercussions, and you feel this is your only "out" (to keep the girl) , then good luck and go for it. If you cannot do this without feeling resentment and if you will be unfulfilled in your (new or other) work, then, again, good luck (because your relationship doesn't have a very good chance for success). Take care...Babe

Whiskeytown, I think your relationship with this lady is doomed. I know of several where one partner is against the other one playing poker(and these are winning players). I know of none that actually work. I think your only choice would be to give up poker, and you would probably come to resent that. Even if it worked okay now what about when you want to move up to 6-12 or 10-20 where its possible to lose a considerable amount of $$ at one sitting?

I would not give up poker. I have great fun in playing poker, thinking about poker, talking about poker etc etc. If this all doesnt interfere with her life, other than the fact that she got "principle problems" with it, then no way I would give up poker, because the arguments for giving it up are simply not there IMO. I wouldnt ask her to give up her religion either, although I have principle problems with it.


Regards