Is Teaching My Son Poker the Right Thing?

[Festus22]

Thanks for the reply Buster but I'm not sure I get your meaning. What's the totality of activities you plan on doing with your kids that excludes poker?

We do a myriad of activities outside the home with our kids. But there's also critical at-home time as well where we play games and just interact. Poker is just one of the games we play (+ Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, dominos, memory cards, and a host of others).

The concern I had with poker is not the mechanics of playing. I think it teaches mathematics, reasoning, deductive skills, and thinking beyond yourself. It is rather the introduction of a game that some find socially offensive (the minority to be sure but they're out there), is associated with gambling and all the baggage that may bring and something that my son may find out he can take advantage of others doing. That may come off as hypocritical and it probably is. But the bottom line is that's what all winning players are doing. I want to raise my kids with high moral values and it's these points that fueled my post. Can poker be played for it's positive value without risking too much exposure to the "dark side"?

[HigherAce]

I don't see any problem with teaching your kid anything. Personally my parents were open to a conversation about ANY thing from when I was a young age. Also showing your son that your not gonna talk to or teach him poker(or anything for that matter) because "society" deems it unworthy, gambling, or a bad habbit I believe will hinder what he in turn will talk and trust in you about. My parents never bs'd me they gave it to me straight(reasons for it being good or bad)and then stepped back to see what decision I would make. This has made me a very repsonsible, consquence minded person. But when it comes down to thinking if you should or shouldn't..go with what makes you both happy and disregard all other comments.

[Grisgra]

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Can poker be played for it's positive value without risking too much exposure to the "dark side"?

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I don't see why not. I envy you! Lots of skills you can teach from poker, as you pointed out -- putting yourself in the other guy's head, math skills, getting used to bad luck (e.g., unfairness) -- the list goes on and on.

Plus, at the rate he's going, once he hits 25 or so he'll probably have won enough money to let you retire in comfort [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

IMO the "dark side" is the addiction problem -- and let's face it, better poker than TV or video games, IMO (and I grew up addicted to both). I doubt he's going to be hanging out in seedy joints playing against guys named "Pops" or "Bugsy", so that aspect of the dark side seems unlikely.

Nah, looks win-win to me, man.

[PokerDork]

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I am playing poker now, so that I won't be when I have kids. This may sound odd to some of you, but I personally want many things for my children, ALL of which are far more important that poker. I have a hard time believing that any child under 10 is genuinely interested in poker. Rather, he/she is probably interested in YOU, and surely you can find better things to share.

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When I was five years old my grandmother taught me how to play 5 card draw and 5/7 stud, because I had a genuine interest in them- as I did for just about any other card game from old maid to war to gin. So its quite possible that your son is intrigued by the game itself as the mixture of skill and luck can make a game even more fun for a child because it is one of the few contests in which that child can beat an adult fair and square (i.e. your kid probably knows if he beats you at basketball you aren't trying). So, from experience I can state that a child is capable of being interested in cards. And though I am not a parent, and really have no authority to speak on such matters, as long as your child understands the gravity of risking money on poker he'll be alright. In fact, teaching him about gambling at a young age may help to instill your child with the right attitude toward games of chance, and although I'm not a parent, I did end up a poker player who doesn't have a gambling problem because I was encouraged to wait until I had money to gamble with and understood the games before I attempted them, and this knowledge has led me to stay away from all the -EV bets in the casino, in fact I refuse to play anything other than poker.

[Paul2432]

I've read all the replies in this thread and agree that poker can be a great teacher of math and thinking skills as well as a lot of fun.

However, I think a distinction needs to be made between poker for fun and poker for money. Let's face it, when played for money this game has an ugly side. Playing online for 5 minutes and reading the chat will prove this is true.

I think there is a risk in teaching a kid poker. Other card games such as bridge or hearts of euchre can teach all the same lessons as poker with none of the pitfalls. Whether the risk of poker is worth the benefit is someting each parent needs to decide.

Paul

[CCass]

I think I understand what you are trying to say here, and I will add my $.02 worth. I have 3 children all under that age of 10. I am actively involved in all of their lives, coaching their sports teams, helping with homework, playing with them, etc... I also play poker. I just don't play when they are around. If I play at night (which I do almost every night), I wait until they are in bed.

I spend "my" time on poker. I spend "family" time on my family. If there is a conflict between the two, then family time wins out.

It won't bother me if any of my children want to learn about poker, but I will make sure they understand how to "play correctly". Also, I won't push poker on them, but they are growing up in a pretty competitive family, so it won't surprise me if they show an interest.

However, my wife would have a fit if she thought I was teaching them how to play, she isn't a big fan of poker (she was ok with me spending some of my winnings on a re-modeling job at the house though [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]).

[bdypdx]

During a Thanksgiving trip I taught my 10 year old nephew...

Over Christmas, he wound up in a poker game with family and friends and kicked ass!

My family always played card games and board games while I was growing up. Poker is/was just one of those games. Personally, I think that social interaction games are good for kids to learn. My 2 cents.

- bdy

[MMMMMM]

I wish I had started learning that early.

[Rhone]

Festus,

I'm not a parent, but hopefully in the next couple of years or so I will be, and I've thought about some of these issues. Personally, I don't see the harm in teaching children poker. I believe, in general, making a subject taboo just creates more curiousity in it for kids, and not always healthy curiousity.

If I were to teach my kids about it, though, it would be important for me to teach the negative side, too, that is, the fact that you can lose something of value as a consequence of playing. And I was wondering how you've thought about approaching this. If one treats poker like a board game, with play chips that you put away after a session, then the negative consequnces part of the game sort of falls by the wayside. On the other hand, if you make your kid put up something he values that he could actually lose while playing, well, that seems kind of harsh for a six year old. [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

So, I haven't really thought this through completely yet, and I'm curious what you and others might think...

Rhone.

[tek]

There are many people addicted to Bridge in the pursuit of becoming a Grandmaster. They even play for money sometimes [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

I think it comes down to inculcating proper values early. Anything can be used to enter "the dark side". So I don't think it's a matter of what games you choose to play.

I remember playing Tripoli (combination poker, hearts and rummy, Monopoly, Mastermind, etc as a child. However, I started playing blackjack during lunch in junior high and hadn't read any books on it. Didn't even know there was Basic Strategy...It didn't take long to realize two of the kids weren't winning consistently (with new decks) out of sheer luck.

Teaching the skills of poker is good, but also get some Gamblers Anonymous material to show what can happen. With all the poker-related shows on TV, kids will get the wrong idea that it's all gravy if they aren't taught some caveats.