Acknowledging strangers (or simply the strange)

[bluefeet]

I work in a very large office building. Passing strangers in the hallway happens everyday. I’ve often wondered what personality traits effected the exchange, or lack of. It always surprises me a bit how many people don’t acknowledge each other.

Here we are, the only two people in sight - we DO see each other coming, it cannot be denied that an “exchange” may or may not be occurring in just a few seconds.

At that critical moment, where the distance between hits that unseen optimum mark (like a fighter jet’s radar turning red, with beeping sounds going off)…I move to make eye contact, putting on the friendly face (if all be it a temporary one).

I hone in on my stranger, looking to receive the returned eye contact, signaling clearance for my acknowledgement (because of course the latter will be doing the initial receiving of said acknowledgement – with the option of course to return). But alas, eye contact was not returned.

I want to know why.

I’m not looking for much. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m looking for anything. Maybe I’m the one with the perceived character flaw.

Of course, depending on the speed of the passing, I’m not anticipating or desiring a verbal exchange. Frankly, that can be a bit awkward.

[6 feet and closing]: ”Hi, how are you?”
[2 feet and closing]: “Good thanks, and you?”
[-2 feet, still walking in opposite directions]: “Not baaaaaaaa….”

…as the voice and his/your interest drifts away – back to the safe ‘alone’ place you were enjoying before you got into this mess.

Maybe that’s the reason. Attempting to avoid complexity.

My personal favorite is the ‘clenched-lipped, forced-1/2smile, head-node’. Very easy to pull off in the limited time available. Satisfies the acknowledgement…shows you took the minimal effort necessary to communicate to this other soul that they exist.

I understand that there will always be those that are more quick to make the initial eye contact. Some of you are just too shy, some are just not that friendly. Maybe some have just tired running into those that are not willing to accept their acknowledgement.

If being the ‘sender’ isn’t you, certainly you can take the much easier role of being the ‘receiver’. No?

One final thought. I spent 10 years in the service, living in the southern states of the US. Despite the disparity between class & culture…within this culture, these exchanges were MUCH more common place. It seems to be noticeably less cordial being back up north. Meh…

What do you think?

[swede123]

I voted for the third choice, as I'll typically seek eye contact, and if the other person reciprocates I'll do the head nod and possibly a good morning/hi/how's it going? depending on the circumstances. Now, there are definitely more extreme versions of this, like this older fella who goes jogging along the road I drive home everyday. This codger smiles and waves (while jogging) at every car that passes. Usually there's a steady flow of cars going by around 5 PM which doesn't deter him at all, he just waves away at everyone.

Swede

[spamuell]

Your poll lacks the tl;dr option.

[Shajen]

I give them the ole fashioned:

"Sup" like I'm looking for the gym.

Makes my day.

[ddubois]

[ QUOTE ]
(if all be it a temporary one)

[/ QUOTE ]
There exist a word, "albeit", that you probably should have used here.

[maryfield48]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
(if all be it a temporary one)

[/ QUOTE ]
There exist a word, "albeit", that you probably should have used here.

[/ QUOTE ]

There exists a letter, "s" that you probably should have used here.

[siccjay]

Since we are playing this game, you missed a comma.

[siccjay]

Pretty good post BTW. I picked the 2nd option. I just don't really care to be that friendly. I am working on it though.

Why do people feel this need to do this. It really just leads to uncomfortable situations. Like why do keep acknowleding someone who you . . .
a. don't know their name
b. have never had a conversation w/
c. don't spend anytime w/ , but you just recognize them by face.
These situations really make me uncomfortable. I don't want to be rude and offend anyone but I would just rather not deal with it

[ QUOTE ]


Your poll lacks the tl;dr option.



[/ QUOTE ]

Too bad, IMO, you "dr." You might have enjoyed it. Then again, maybe you wouldn't have.

It's a clever post. Well thought out. Witty. Yeah, he didn't proofread it perfectly, but WTF, I got past that.

Can we put spamuell in the column of voters who picked #1?

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