Sex in the City: Season 38, Episode 11

[BreakEvenPlayer]

SEX IN THE CITY: Season 38, Episode 11.




SCENE 1:

Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda are drinking exotic African tea from a new shop downtown. Camera fades in and joins an ongoing conversation.

SAMANTHA: So we had a few drinks and he invited me up to his loft (smiles dervishly).

(all girls giggle)

MIRANDA: And…???

SAMANTHA: (sighs) So we were going at it pretty heavily and then he asks if I have any condoms.

CHARLOTTE: He didn’t have condoms?

SAMANTHA: Well, yes, he had three condoms, that’s what was weird about it. He said he needed like seven more condoms.

CHARLOTTE: What the hell was he going to do with ten condoms?

SAMANTHA: Well I dumped a box of condoms from my purse on the bed, and he starts unwrapping them one by one, and then delicately placing them side by side in front of me...

(all girls put tea down, lean in, shoot quixotic glances at one another)

SAMANTHA: Once all ten of the condoms were unwrapped, he asked me to lay down on the bed. Then he put five of the condoms on all of the toes of his left foot. He put the other five on all the fingers of his left hand.

CARRIE: Please tell me you ran out of his loft right then.

SAMANTHA: No way. I was too drunk and curious to care. So before I know it I have like three of his condom wrapped toes in my pussy. He was getting a real kick out of it, then he started going crazy. Toes and fingers were flying everywhere… my pussy, my mouth, his a$$hole, my a$$hole. I started spinning in a sea of intoxication and bliss. After like ten minutes of this I had the most amazing orgasm of my adult life.

(girls make “eeewwyyy” faces, scream, giggle incessantly)

MIRANDA: Sam, I was always somewhat envious of your slutty ways but this is ever-so not fabulous.

SAMANTHA: I know, I know. I think I will call him back tonight though… So Carrie… How was your night?

CARRIE: Well, I went out with Lexington Brian…

(girls giggle unnecessarily and awkwardly)

CARRIE: I’m not very attracted to him. But anyways I suggested we go to Ramsi’s, which I think is fabulous. I had the Shanghai Stir Fry, which was fabulous. I suggested he get the Mamma Amore, and he said it was terrible. That’s grounds enough not to date the guy, Ramsi’s is freaking fabulous!!! But our date banter was some of the best I’ve ever had, so I don’t know.

MIRANDA: (in a nonconvincing and mysterious tone) Well it sounds like it wasn’t meant to be. That’s okay Carrie, you’re fabulous… You’ll meet your Prince Charming soon enough.




More scenes to come.

[Macdaddy Warsaw]

While this whole Lexington Brian thing has me not caring, I like your use of dervishly and quixotic.

[imported_CaseClosed326]

[ QUOTE ]
More scenes to come.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why?

[BreakEvenPlayer]

SCENE 2:

Lexington Brian and his roommates sit around in their Manhattan apt. living room watching a game of football. The door rings. A roommate answers the door. It is Miranda.

LEX. BRIAN: Oh, hey Miranda, how’s it going?

MIRANDA: Pretty good and yourself?

LEX. BRIAN: Great. Hey, I had such a good time with your friend Carrie last night. You haven’t by any chance talked to her today have you?

MIRANDA: Well actually, that’s why I came to talk to you about. I don’t think you should date Carrie anymore.

LEX. BRIAN: Why not?

MIRANDA: Well I just had tea with her and she said some pretty mean things about you.

(Brian’s roommates turn down TV volume)

LEX. BRIAN: You’re kidding.

MIRANDA: Well basically she said she wasn’t attracted to you, and that you suck because you hated Ramsi’s, which is like her favorite restaurant.

(roommates are giggling)

LEX. BRIAN: This doesn’t make any sense.

MIRANDA: She did say you had some great banter though, for what it’s worth.

LEX. BRIAN: Hmm… maybe there’s still a chance.

MIRANDA: Well, I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll see you later Brian. You should call me sometime if you’re downtown and we can grab some tea.

LEX. BRIAN: Okay. Take care Miranda.

Brian walks Miranda to the door and shuts it behind her. Brian’s roommates immediately burst into laughter.



More scenes to come.

[Popinjay]

Was this supposed to be funny? Because I just ended up getting a boner, which isn't bad necessarily.

[2+2 wannabe]

i thought the first scene was pretty funny

[BreakEvenPlayer]

SCENE 3:

Lexington Brian is in a lesser know bar on the Lower East Side with some of his friends from work. They are mostly sharing stories from the previous weekend. Camera comes in at end of one of friend’s stories.


FRIEND 1: So I’m banging her from behind, and all the sudden I notice this open sore on her ass like two inches from my dick. What would you guys do in that situation?

FRIEND 2: Wow. This is the first situation I’ve ever encountered in my life where sticking it in her pooper does not solve our quandary.

FRIEND 1: Yeah. Really makes you think.

LEX. BRIAN: Okay, okay guys. I’ve got one for you. So there’s this girl Carrie from Manhattan I slept with a few times over Christmas break. Then I blew her off. Then I call her a couple nights ago and I take her out to dinner. The date goes pretty well in my opinion. Then the next day, one of her friends comes over and tells me all this [censored] that the girl was talking about the date… Like how she’s not attracted to me, how she’s pissed that I hated her favorite restaurant, etc. But then she says that our date banter was some of the best she’s ever had… So I guess I was wondering… Do you guys think I have a chance with this girl?

FRIEND 1: No.

FRIEND 2: Nah, man… this ain’t gonna work out if she’s saying stuff like that.

FRIEND 3: Stick it in her pooper.

FRIEND 1: Shut the [censored] up man. Seriously, shut the [censored] up. That [censored] should have died the day it was first said.

LEX. BRIAN: I just can’t help but think I have a chance with this girl.

FRIEND 2: Seriously Brian, just give it up now man. This girl just sounds like trouble.

LEX. BRIAN: Whatever, let’s get out of here.

Everyone kills their last beer and leaves the bar.



More scenes to come.

[BreakEvenPlayer]

SCENE 4

Friend 3 from the bar scene and Carrie, who are coworkers, are having exotic Ukrainian coffee on their lunch break in the downtown area.

FRIEND 3: So you’ll never guess who I had drinks with last night.

CARRIE: Who?

FRIEND 3: Does the name Brian ring any bells for you?

CARRIE: Brian, hmmm… Well I’m dating like three guys named Brian you’ll have to be more specific.

FRIEND 3: Well he was talking about how he slept with you a few times over Christmas break, and how one of your friends told him everything you said about him. How you were mad because he hated your favorite restaurant, how you weren’t attracted to him, you know?

CARRIE: Oh my God! This is too weird. Oh my God! What an [censored]! I never slept with Brian! Jesus… Where did he come up with that? Oh my God! That douchebag! I am going to get that bastard!

Carrie slams her unfinished Mocha-something into the waste bin and storms off.

[2+2 wannabe]

this stuff is pretty funny

throw in more "fancy" words and you've got a script

[CardSharpCook]