Does anyone like Blonde jokes?

[Toro]

Seven Degrees of a Blonde

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."



SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street.

One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.

She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry.

She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"



FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class.

The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."



SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen.

I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

Blind guy walks into a bar. Orders a beer and says to the bartender "Want to hear a blonde joke?"

Bartender: Sir, I think you should know that this is a blonde bar. Sitting on your left is the state kickboxing champion. She's a blonde. On your right is a former Green Beret. She's a blonde. Our bouncer is a fifth-degree black belt. She's a blonde. And across the bar is Mary, who just got out of prison because she hates blind guys and beat one half to death for insulting her friends. She's a blonde. So maybe you'd like to reconsider telling your little joke.

Blind guy: You're right, I'll pass on the joke.

Bartender: Don't want any trouble, eh?

Blind guy: No, just don't want to have to repeat the joke 5 times.

[bosoxfan]

A guy and his blonde wife are out doing yard work. A bird flys by and craps on the husbands head.
The husbands says honey go get some toilet paper.
The blonde says it's too late now look how far away he is.

[BrettK]

A man walks into a country club bar, his pockets bulging with the golf balls he had been collecting from the nearby course, when he notices a blonde staring at him from across the room with a concerned expression on her face.

"Golf balls," he tells her.





















She replies, "Does that hurt as much as Tennis Elbow?"

Brett

[benfranklin]

ONE

A brunette is working in her front yard when the blonde next door comes out of the house and walks down the drive to the mail box. She looks in the mail box, closes it, and goes back into the house. About 10 minutes later, the blonde comes out again, goes down to the mail box, looks in, and goes back in the house.

Another few miniutes, and the blonde comes out again, obviously in a bad mood, checks the mail box, and stomps back up the driveway.

The brunette asks if there is anything wrong.

The blonde says, "Oh, my stupid computer keeps saying I've got mail, and there's nothing there."

TWO

A blonde on a business trip goes out for a walk along a river near her hotel. She sees another blonde on the other side of the river. They stop and talk for a few minutes, and the first blonde says, "How do I get to the other side of the river?"

The second blonde thinks about it for a minute, and says, "You already are on the other side."