I don't get to play any pool where I live since I won't go to the one pool hall for various reasons (and I've never seen a billiard table in my current home state) but here are some good complaints and peeves from my fading memory of the cue sports:


As to operators-


-Giving me a blank stare when I ask if you have a billiard table the first time I walk into your pool hall that has the misleading sign saying "Billiards." If you own a pool hall you should know the difference and so should your help.


-Gandy chalk.


-Gandy tables.


-Teeny bopper music and attitude tolerated. I want a bunch of old alcoholics, deadbeats, con men and losers to play cheap nine ball or straight pool with. I want there to be one croak over 80 with entertaining stories. I like it when there's a liquor store next door to sneak booze in. I occasionally like to shoot craps on a billiard table with bad felt. I occasionally want to play gin with the counter help so you have to have a deck of cards with all 52. I want guys with stupid nicknames and cheap cigars around.


-If you can't give me the above I want imported heated-slate billiard tables with outstanding cloth and good balls and a few good billiard players to beat my brains out.


Players:


-Don't drill the chalk.


-Don't get baby powder all over. You don't need it. Wash more than once a week instead.


-No purple cues.


-Learn a game other than one foul nine ball where everything stays down. Try playing push out one time in your existence. Try one-pocket once. Play straight pool once in a while.