You should read Feeney's book. The chapter on going to therapy. I don't mean this flippantly or as a flame, so please don't get too upset that I wrote this. You asked for advice, so I am trying to give you an honest answer as a courtesy not an insult. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it is clear from your post that you have some major issues to work out and will not be happy until you do. To start on a small example - if 1400 is an "immense amount of cash" to you, you should not play 10-20. I think it is fine to take a shot at 10-20 with less (I have myself) but I do not treat 1400 as an immense amount. If I lose 1000 or 1400, oh well, my life is such that I will still eat.


It appears that you have way too much emotional investment in the game. When you say that your friends and family hate the game, you may be saying that they hate how you treat the game and devote your passion to it over and above normal limits. That you go on tilt indicates that you view the game irrationally at times. This is natural to some degree, but it sounds like this is a big problem for you. You might want to look at Schoonmakers book too. You spoke honestly about your feelings aout the game in your post, so that is a good start to assessing why you play poker. My guess is that you play for all kinds of emotional reasons that have nothing to do with playing winning poker. Thus, you may be doomed to lose unless you address those emotional factors. It also sounds as if other parts of your life are negatively affected by poker and the emotions that you bring to it. Addressing these issues will probably improve your life.


Writing your post took some guts. Sounds like you can fix what is wrong. It might be a good idea to stay away from poker if you can. You can live without it. Good luck.