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This joke was originally told by Buddy Hackett on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. I think I was about 12 years old when I saw it. This is one of my favorite all time jokes and much of its charm comes with the telling. Buddy Hackett would always crack me up.

I have told this joke many times and I get one of two responses--a hearty guffaw or, "Huh?", and a blank stare.



There were two Martians flying around in their spaceship over New York City, when all of a sudden they developed a mechanical problem. They had to bring down their spaceship and when they did they crash landed. When they got out to inspect the damage they noticed they had a couple of broken wheels.

So, they start walking down the street looking for a wheel store when they happen upon a bagel shop with a couple of giant bagels hanging on a string in the window.

“Hey look!” says one Martian to the other. “There’s some wheels for our spaceship!”

They go inside and one of the Martians says to the proprietor, “Hi, we’d like to buy a couple of those wheels for our spaceship.”

The owner looks at them kind of funny and says, “Veels, vhat you talking about veels, days bagels, you eat them with cream cheese!”

The one Martian turns to the other one and says, “Hey you know, those might go pretty good with locks.”