[Cyrus]

These two were e-mailed by a Jewish friend.

Two Jews are sitting in the park reading their newspapers. One is reading the Jerusalem Post and the other the National Socialist Aryan Post. Finally, the first guy asks the second "I hope you don't mind me asking but you are a Jew so why are you reading that anti-semitic nazi newspaper?"

The other guy says "Look, man, if I read the Jerusalem Post, it tells me that things are going very bad in Israel, that things are gonna get even worse, that we are again facing grave dangers, that we Jews will typically foul up things, etceteta etcetera."

"But I read this paper here, and it says we are behind every big corporation, that we control the mind of the American President and that the Jews will soon take over the whole world. I mean, it's not even a choice"...

* * *

Two beggars are sitting outside the St Peter cathedral in Rome one next to the other. One is holding a big Christian cross and the other holds a huge Star of David. The passers-by look at the two beggars and give money only to the one with the big Christian cross, and they all give the other beggar some looks. By the end of the day, the beggar with the big Christian cross is doing very well and the other beggar exactly zero.

Finally a Catholic priest approaches the two beggars and says to the guy holding the Jewish symbol "Peace, my friend, we are all children of the same God. I've been watching you and listen, you're not going about this the right way. Look around! You're in a deeply religious Christian country. Everybody here is a good Catholic. The people will prefer to help the man with the Cross of our Savior Jesus Christ rather than you. In fact, I'm sure some folks will go out of their way to help the other fella just to spite you! Listen to me. The best way to attract some money is to get yourself a Cross too and make sure people see it!"

The beggar with the Star of David wearily turned to the other beggar and said "Hey, Haim, I think this guy's trying to give us advice on marketing.."