[Exsubmariner]

This post breaks my heart.
Funny thing about regret.
It is always better to regret the things you have done than the things you haven't.
If I were in your shoes....and this comes from having not followed my heart once and regretting it ever since...I would tell her what I did with my books. Swear to her that if she comes back to you you will never play again and if you do, she can cut off your balls. Tell her she is more important to you than anything in the world and you know that now and will make your world around her and for her. If she does not come back to you, get some of your friends together, kick her new beau's ass and then leave town for Vegas, buy your books back and become a winner.
If this is a troll post I swear I will troll you every chance I get from here to the end of time.
Good luck to you friend.
No regrets.