[Happy Hour]

1. Yes. Way more.

2.Answer would be too long.

3. Hitler's skull

4.The ratings would be great, but I don't think the gorilla should be allowed to play.

5.Alice in Chains isn't that bad. Besides, most of my favorite music is instumental.

6.Nope. Don't want anyone seeing my dreams.

7.Sasquatch. The Sasquatch and Loch Ness monster are far bigger stories than the president, and Bigfoot gets the edge because he is more local.

8.No, I would still marry her. (If I believed in marriage, that is).

9.Sure, I read it to see what the deal is.

10. Bright Lights, Big City.

11.Good grief, go call my mom. That's what DVDs are for.

12.Great question. $11

13.Answer would be too long and none of your business.

14.I think it would piss off cats to read it and not be able to comment on it.

15.Eh, more like, how will I spend the next six months?

16.No. Football is boring. If I am destined to be struck by some horrible misfortune that turns me into a football fan, I will put it off as long as I can.

17.Bacardi? What happened to my sense of taste? Who do I trust less? With what? Taking the question at face value, I would be more likely to trust the man with a past.

18.Europe. Ain't no hot girls on the moon.

19.Sorry about the broken ribs, man. There was like, a giant spider about to bite your face, really!

20.I already know what my actual life is like, I would want to see how Columbia Tri-Star butchered it. They would have had to take some really big liberties to get audiences to like it. (And who they cast as me. I'm thinking Leo DiCaprio.)

21.You mean I can live my life over and change things and I'm concerned about my virginity? That would be among the least of my concerns. But I think when I lost it was fine.

22.Hmm drinker and womanizer or thief and degenerate gambler. Tough choice. What kind of dumb question is this? Besides, screw them. If they are such that they gossip and believe rumors, then I don't really give a fig for their opinions.

23.What? John Ritter is my dad? Ok.