Re: can you cheat and still have an intimate relationship?
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the banged her best friend post sparked this. I don't understand how people can cheat on there girlfriend/fiance/wife whom they claim to really care about. I mean, how can you look this person in the eye after you have lied and decieved them? All trust is shattered. It's one thing if it is just a sexual relationship with no real feelings involved (though i don't think i would cheat here, dunno really), but if you really care about someone, wouldn't cheating ruin your entire relationship? especially if you haven't told her.
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polyamorous relationships exist and are successful. jealousy for the one you love is probably the most difficult to deal with but its very possible...monogomy is one way to live. and within THAT way to live, cheating is unacceptable b/c trust is broken.
similarly, in a polyamorous relationship, its the same in that if you have sex or "cheat" in that you gave your word about not having/having sex with somebody and you do it then the trust wihtin THAT relationship is also broken.
-Barron
PS- for accurate and good discussion of this topic read "The Ethical Slut"
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