Straight up...no bull - Poker or the girl?
 

Read Andy Bellin's Poker Nation last week - fairly interesting, though mostly for it's commentary on NYC poker. He made one comment that hit me head on...Virtually every relationship he had ended because of poker.


I've been involved with a girl for 3 months. An honorable one -- (Bible School type) - who is nervous about my card playing. Bear in mind, I stay in 3-6 all the time cept. for tourneys. I never play when she wants to get together, so it's not the time...it's the cards themselves that are the issue.


I've made my decision. If it comes to the cards or the girl, I pick the girl. (and heck...we break up I can always go back to the cards) - I figure if you find a good one, well, welcome to compromise...you know? I only started playing to cure boredom anyways. Plus, I've always got Rock and Roll


What would you guys (and gals, if you're dealing with men) do or have you done in the past? And no....lying is not an option here, buddy! - Not for me anyways.


And FYI - I'm up for the year, thanks to $3000 in tourney wins...so that's not the problem yet - although I know my ring game is down for the year right now...so is my online one.


RB

if it were me....
 

If it were me I would look for another girl, and i've been with mine for 5 years. If she came to me and said either you give up poker for the rest of your life, or give up me, I would show her the door.


This would be purely on principle, if she is going to stand between me and something i love to do, then there is no need for her, and it's not meant to be.


MisFit

Re: if it were me....
 

i agree with MisFit, if she is the kind of girl to forbid you what you love so much, and make you choose, then you don't need her. but if she constantly makes the 'sacrifice' but you can see that it truly bothers her deep down, well, just take a line from Moulin Rouge - (paraphrasing) "...the greatest thing in the world that you can do is to love and be loved." id drop poker in a heartbeat if it meant that the woman i loved wouldn't live another day of her life worried about me. but then again, im just a hopeless romantic...

Re: Straight up...no bull - Poker or the girl?
 

Stay with the girl, assuming that in the big ol' world, there is at least one other hobby you love doing that doesn't annoy her. Poker fills voids, it shouldn't create one.


Josh

From a girl\'s point of view
 

I've been with a famous poker player for almost a year and there are times when it gets tough. Alot of nights I would be home alone, but It makes him happy and I would do anything or let him do almost anything to be happy.

What I think you should do is find out exactly what it is that bothers her about you playing and try to compromise with her, if that doesn't work teach her to play. Get her hooked. Either way good luck to you I hope everything works out.

Re: From a girl\'s point of view
 

I did teach her to play one time...we played 4 hands and she won 3 of the 4 - LOL - stuff like me with JJ and her with 24 and rivering a st8 - three hands like that. [img]/images/smile.gif[/img]


I think it's the whole "could he have a gambling disorder in the future" - (oh yea...did I mention she's a psych major?) - but I've got a deeper love in my heart for music then I do for poker...if it was music and poker, I'd pick music - and music vs. girl - well, maybe music...but poker is 3rd.

Re: Straight up...no bull - Poker or the girl?
 

Is she still under breeding age and if so does she hope to? If yes, then any concerns of hers about security are culturally and genetically too strong to row against. IOW, she can't be wrong to worry.


Tommy

Re: Straight up...no bull - Poker or the girl?
 

If she's the right girl, then definitely she's more important than poker.


I'm fortunate in that I get to have both. More than both, actually, as I have two girlfriends. One is unhappy with but accepting of my play, and the other has gotten into poker in a big way. But I made it clear to each of them: "If you think it matters, I'll stop playing for your sake."

Re: From a girl\'s point of view
 

If she's a psych major, you might be doing yourself a favor by talking to her about gambling disorders and such. Ask her about "operant conditioning" and B. F. Skinner.

And if she is above breeding age...
 

And if she is above breeding age, screw her and go play poker. She doesn't want to hang out with you anyway, she just views you as a cash machine.


I know married guys who screw hookers. If you're going to screw hookers anyway, then why not marry a guy, and at least have someone fun to hang with?


Your first responsibility is to a girl at any age. But you have to get straight what she wants from you. Once you've planted the seed, just focus on getting the water.


And remember to point out, you won't network too many new business contacts spending your Friday nights on the couch, watching "Mytic Pizza" with her.


eLROY