Two Plus Two Older Archives - WSOJTBT - Quest to find Jake's worst thread. Round 1

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WSOJTBT - Quest to find Jake\'s worst thread. Round 1

World Series of Jake the Bake's Theads!!

So after viewing another one of jake's threads that were completely random and unfunny, I began to realize that he does this all the time, and I couldn't remember if I ever laughed at them or thought they were interesting.

I decided to look through some of his old posts and realized that this was true. Now, in the spirit of bad OOT threads, I've decided to make this a championship between his threads to find the worst ones. So please read along and vote on which one you think is this worst and they will progress to the championship round where 1 winner will be crowned.

Anyways, the seeding was done just by sorting my viewing of OOT by "poster" and then writing them down in order. Since there are so many, I have decided to do 3 per vote in the first two rounds, and then a 4 thread final. There are only 35 posts, so the last vote is only 2 threads.

Anyways, onto the threads which have either been posted in their entirety or just quoted a little part to give you a general idea on what they are about....

1a. Definition of "overkill"
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A 250-pound bodybuilder I work with just killed a 3 inch-long mouse in the kitchen with a hammer. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

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1b. Everyone needs to see this.
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Hilarious! Very nice TT. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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1c. A Hammock in a Hurricane
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I decide it's pretty nice out there in my hammock in the storm. So I go back in and grab a Shiner Bock from the fridge and lie outside in my hammock for a couple of hours.

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2a. What color socks? (poll)
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You're wearing brown shoes and blue jeans. What color socks do you wear?

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2b. Lunch?
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Leftover rigatoni with meat sauce, garlic bread and a root beer barrel for dessert. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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2c. Riding with the King
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A freind loaned this to me last night and i listened to it in the car this morning. I have to admit, I really expected more but it was still pretty good.

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3a.What song?
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Yeah, this is from one of those stupid chain e-mails people keep sending, but I actually thought this was a pretty good question. If you were gonna plow through an elementary school playground full of kiddies, [censored]-drunk in a mufflerless pickup, spilling your bottle of bourbon all over yourself. What song would be blaring on your stereo?

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3b. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!
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It took me over an hour to get here. It's drizzling rain. I saw four wrecks this morning, all of which were being mishandled either by the police or the people involved.

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3c. Another Entertaining Saturday Morning in Miami...
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So I'm watching TV this morning and I hear a definite ruckus outside. I look out there and my neighbors, one is an older white guy maybe about 65 and the other is a middle-aged Latin guy. They're standing in their driveways screaming at each other. As near as I can tell, it has something to do with the white guy's newspaper, the latin guy's dog and someone's sprinklers.

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4a. Have you ever wondered...?
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If you have a split personality? There are a couple of people here that constantly write stuff that is something I was just about to type? The really [censored] up part is that at least one of them is someone I really dislike.

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4b. Request
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As soon as those of you working on the space elevator problem finish up with that, please do me a favor and get on the time machine thing.

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4c. Remember Trouble?
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Remember THIS THREAD? This girl just PMed me again...lol. I want to mess with her. What should I say?

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5a. Now the 00T women's turn...?
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What's the most important trait in a man? Confidence? Intelligence? Sense of humor? Shoe size?

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5b. A hypothetical quarter life crisis post...
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Why do people try to spare your feelings?
Let's talk about a completely hypothetical scenario. Two people are good friends. They're close. They share a lot, seem to have a lot in common, talk ever day, etc.

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5c. Does anyone you work with do this...?
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He laughs extra loud and a little too long at things while kind of glancing at me waiting for me to ask what's funny. It's annoying and I never acknowledge him. If he wants to show me something, why doesn't he just say, "look at this,"?

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6a. Who the hell does this?
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I just went in our kitchen and someone had cut a quarter out of a bagel and left the rest. Someone (I'm guessing the same person) did the same thing with a donut last time I brought some in. Why would someone do this? Do they really think someone is going to eat the rest after they've mangled it? Wtf?

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6b. Dammit Voltron...
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I keep seeing your avatar and thinking Dead is back.

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6c. Nip Tuck
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The show just lost its appeal.

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7a. Retooling (kinda long)
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I don’t know about anyone else, but I go through this periodically. I’m in a funk and I’m not completely sure why. When I look at my life, I think yea, yea I’m really doing pretty much what I want to do. But I’m not doing any of it as well as I could or should be. Like Mitch Robbins said, “I’m not going to find a different job. I’m just going to do this one better.”

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7b. Passionfruit's Coffee Cups
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Passionfruit (my coworker) has three coffee cups on his desk. They're very large round ones, kind of like this except blue.

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7c. The Rev...
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Changed out my drive-time music this morning. I hadn't listened to this in a long time. Damn it's good stuff. I miss seeing them live in Austin.

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8a. Oktoberfest
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This bar is Oktoberfest Central for Miami! Right across the street starting today! This rules!

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8b. Another urinal courtesy thread
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I was in the restroom at a urinal a few minutes ago. An exterminator came in and starts crawling around on his hands & knees on the floor. Now he wasn't exactly under my feet, but it is a pretty small restroom and this was much too close not to be quite uncomfortable. Wtf?

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8c. My day at the free STD clinic...
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The other day I got an e-mail regarding a hepetitis A outbreak that i may have been exposed to. So I make an appointment with my doctor. She sends my test to the lab and then asks when the exposure occurred. I tell her, and she says, "Oh the test is a waste of time then. You need a shot today."

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9a. The answer...
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To every one of these damn questions. Should I lie to her? How long to wait? Should I pop it? Should I SIIHP? They're all the same. Tell her where she stands. Everyone deserves that. If she says yes, then pound it like a hammer. they're all the same damn thread.

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9b. Does anyone know Alobar well...?
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If someone does, please go punch him in the face for each response to his peachy thread.

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9c. Better CMH movie?
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To Hell & Back or Sgt. York?

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10a. Best Dildo Color...?
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Why do they make the same ones in different colors? Do some girls really care what color it is? I mean it's plastic! What color dildo do 00T girls (or guys if you're into that) prefer and why? (Note: You do NOT have to vote to see result.)

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10b. There ain't no hair on a billygoasts ass...
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...a billygoats ass is shiny.

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10c. Rock Stations...
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So I recently decided I was going to start listening to some new music. I figured I'd just listen to the radio and figure out what I like, etc. I tried two different stations. But I listened for like 15 minutes to each and had to turn it off because of the DJs. Why are all rock DJs so [censored] obnoxious?

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11a. Hair products...
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I've long maintained that most shampoos are pretty much the same. How much does your shampoo cost?

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11b. Sunday mornings are funny...
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I passed two different bimbos looking extremely haggard on their way home, still in their club clothes. Than there were two more people passed out in their cars in my parking garage.

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11c. Abbreviations...
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Fellow 00ti0ts. You can't just abbreviate anything clever remark as OITSSYPE or whatever. You're not clever when people don't figure it out. You're just an idiot. Please stop. If it's clever enough and has application, then it will get used and probably eventually abbreviated. Until then type it out like a normal person. That is all.

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12a. Do you have friends that do this...?
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One of my best freinds (I was best man at his wedding) e-mails me every single stupid, ridiculous chain e-mail that comes along. He sends me Jesus crap, Marine crap, political crap, hot-chick crap, games, news, etc, etc, etc, etc.

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12b. People who listen to message on speaker...
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Passionfruit is doing it now. He also listens to the full header and entire message for every single call. And he's talking back to the machine. He kind of mutters comments back at all the callers. This may be the day I kill him.

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