Signs you're playing too much poker.....

[jacki]

I just got home from work, saw a leftover pizza box on the stove with two raunchy looking slices left, and said to myself:
"I should probably fold that"

[sthief09]

I was watching my friend play blackjack online, he got dealt 33 and I seriously said "fold." he just gave me a confused look and said "no, you can't do that."

[jdl22]

Folding 33 when the opponent has such a big stack is a huge mistake. No wonder he told you that you can't do that.

Maybe I've been playing too much NL who knows.

[Joe826]

My mom knew I was playing poker alot at school and was already worried I wasn't getting good grades, or socializing, or whatever else moms worry about. Anyways, I got 3 A's and 2 B's. My mom asked me about my grades shortly after I got home and I told her I got "A's full of B's". Good thing she didn't know what it meant, I think she thought I was trying to be a smartass or something. I should have added a "and MHIG" after it.

[JSD]

[ QUOTE ]
I was watching my friend play blackjack online, he got dealt 33 and I seriously said "fold." he just gave me a confused look and said "no, you can't do that."

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll never look at BJ the same way since I took up poker.

About a month ago, I sat down at a BJ table after playing poker live for like 12 straight hours. It was a double-deck game with the cards dealt face down. I'm UTG first hand (I was sitting at first base so I was out of position the whole night) and cup my hands to protect my cards and riff the edges to see what I have. The whole table starts cracking up and the dealer reprimands me for bending the cards. In any case, I had JTo and didn't really like playing it UTG, but seeing as how I already had a few chips out there, I checked my option.

[Songwind]

That's funny. I had the same problem the last time I played BJ - it took me about 20 minutes to get comfortable with the idea that I couldn't fold instead of calling the blinds and get away from a bad hand. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[holeplug]

Yesterday at work I was typing in a Microsoft Office CD key and the first three letters were KJK. As I typed them into the computer I was thinking to myself "King,Jack,King."

[Wingnut]

I couldn't believe it the first time my wife raised 83o...

[MercTec]

Me too....first hand i got 92o and was like damn...then like oh...DAMN /images/graemlins/cool.gif...hehe....AKs still works nicely though /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

Woke up at 6:32 and thought, "Damn, that's a terrible flop, what am I holding?"

[Byrn]

I was on a date Saturday (sign I'm not playing enough poker??) and the subject of birthdays comes up. I told her some birthdays I can mathematically relate to something and remember easily, and some people I've known for 10 years and can't even remember the month.

She tells me her birthday is 5/8 - I'm like hmmm, I'll never remember that one.

"What year?"
"1976"
"5/8/76 - Open end straight draw - easy"

For some reason she is still talking to me! /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Aces McGee]

I did this at a single deck blackjack table at the Boardwalk a couple of weekends ago. My dealer was not particularly amused, either.

-McGee

[davidross]

Reported to me by my wife, I have no recollection.

Early in the morning after hearing the alarm go off for the 4th time she found me standing there hitting the snooze button again. She asked me why I didn't just shut it off and I told her it was going to keep dealing me in as long as I was alive in the tournament.

I have no idea what that meant but my alarm sounds a lot like the warning beep you get when it's your turn to play at Party. I'm more than a little concerned though that I thought my alarm clock was dealing me cards.

[Manimal]

Got home from a tournament last night to catch the late SportsCenter, saw the A's and Angels logos, and thought "Damn, woulda been nice to have seen that earlier."

[DaveB]

omg.

funniest post ever.

[SA-Bishop]

a few mornings ago my Girlfriend tried to wake me up for breakfast and I bark at her "I raise! you're on a blind steal." I guess I worked her into some poker dream.

[jayadd]

i use to be a teacher in NYC(just left on a medical leave) my students 8th graders where all excited cause the top 5 students on a assignment got free passes to great adventure(amusement park in NJ)

so when i started reading out the scores one of the kids starts giving me a look. i didnt pay much attention to it until i finished reading the top 5. The boy comes to my desk and says how close was i said "charlie im sorry you where #6. The kid responds "i was on the bubble" I said is that why you where staring at me? he said " no i have a better poker face than that"

i ended up paying for his ticket out of my pocket.

[Turkish]

I'm at the tail end of an 8 hour study session for one of my finance finals and am on the verge of cracking. I'm preparing my two note cards for the test and draw two little Aces on the top corner of each card. I put them face down and peak under, pocket aces! I can't help but smile, bad poker face I know.

[arkady]

some of these are killing me!

33, fold that - LOL!
As full of Bs - LOL!!
"alarm clock dealing me cards" - ahhahha..

u guys are great!

[SayGN]

My roommate told me I was talking in my sleep about an open ended straight draw.

[djhjf21]

Loved the posts, wish I could add some of my own quips, running poker tournaments in bars for a living, running home games two nights a week, plus playing in at least one more, along with daily trips to pokerstars you'd think I'd be full of em.

I'm do dream about poker on a regular basis. I just wish I could remind myself to cash out before I wake up each morning, but alas it's just like playing in real life.

I hope ya'll don't mind, I'm stealing your hilarious posts to share with my home game buds, I'm sure they'll get as big of a kick out of them as I did.

[Tyler Durden]

I wanted my roommate to throw away his Taco Bell trash so I handed it to him and said "you need to muck this" and he had no idea what that meant.

[Spyder]

My wife's boss wanted her to do some extra paper work. She came home pissed and wanted to know what I'd do....I told her I'd check and fold.

Spyder

[PITTM]

about sums up the way everyone in my house talks to each other. ie. "hey, wanna go to the store?" "i'm all in"

rj

"hey want some bong hits" "lets push it to the middle" is also popular.

[OnlinePokerCoach]

I always notice license plates with nice looking poker hands in the letters, like AAKK, etc. My wife is sick of me saying, "Nice license plate!"

[Ponks]

Yea, I used to say "I'm all-in" with my friends all the time just joking around about anything.

Ponks

[ewile]

these were really funny!
When my alarm clock went off this AM I was dreaming that I was dealt a pair of sevens. So bizzare.

[andyfox]

You pull into your driveway, notice your odometer reads 58,762.9 miles, and think, "made it."

[Joe826]

hahaha i love this one.

[Joe826]

Oddly enough my rare moments of poker genius seem to come to me when i'm just waking up, or in that weird in between state. I remember when I was big into chess i'd wake up analyzing positions and it's the same thing with poker. It starts to drive me crazy after awhile.

[MicroBob]

i've done that with both chess and poker as well...

the other night i was falling asleep thinking about the EV of some freeroll or bonus situation or something (i can't remember now). i also have come up with some revelations about certain chess positions while falling asleep or wakinng up.


evidently, David Bronstein once dreamt a game that was something like 40 moves long.
when he woke up he could replay the entire game.

[ggano]

I had this dream a couple of weeks ago. I was with some friends around a table
playing poker. We didn't have cards so we
were playing with silverware. We must have been playing some bizarre version
of Pineapple because I was dealt 2 forks, 2 knives, and a fondue fork, and I
had to figure out which 2 to keep. (None of this seemed at all weird in the
dream, like this was the way we usually played.) I knew that the best 2
cards I could keep were the pair of knives, but I had a dilemma because it
would be hard to disguise my hand (since forks, spoons, etc. all had roughly
similar shape when hidden behind my hands, but knives were so different). So
I kept the pocket forks instead. It was folded around to the button who
raised, SB folded, and I was in the BB. I didn't see how much he raised, and
for some reason I didn't know how much the blinds were. So I asked how much
it was for me to call, and nobody would give me a straight answer. "The
button raised." "Yeah, but how much is it to me?" "It's your action." "I
know, but how much is it to me?" "You can either call, raise, or fold." I
got so pissed off that I folded my pocket forks, even though I knew it was a
really good hand. Then I woke up.

[Kevroc]

I played a version of that once when I was in the institution but, we played it with a plastic spork that could be used for high or low. The problem with our game was that is was very dishonest, players always fished thru the 'sink' looking at discards and god knows my outs were NEVER clean. Also, whenever I was dealt the nuts, someone else always seemed to draw the nutcracker and beat me. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[SaintAces]

lmao

[astroglide]

i think all of my poker dreams have involved me being on the winning end of some kind of screwup: more than 5 cards flopped, duplicated cards in my hand, etc. it's never happened to me in actual play.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
about sums up the way everyone in my house talks to each other. ie. "hey, wanna go to the store?" "i'm all in"


[/ QUOTE ]

word. me and my roomates always say stuff like this.

the other day i was cleaning out my apartment and we had to buy a ton of blinds that were broken cause of our air soft gun wars, well we ended up making like 30 jokes about our "blinds".

"hey man i think its time we raised our blinds"
"oh yeah well i want the big blind, you take the small blind"
--
"we better put these in the cab so nobody steals our blinds while we go to eat"

etc

[J_V]

Did you not see the N/M?

[SuitedSixes]

The other night I told my wife I was all-in, and she said, "Really? It doesn't feel like it . . . you must be bluffing."

[asdf1234]

[ QUOTE ]
The other night I told my wife I was all-in, and she said, "Really? It doesn't feel like it . . . you must be bluffing."

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL Nice one.

[qazplok]

I hate screw ups like that,
i came to a poker game late at my buddys house, when a 5 of clubs came out on the turn and the river. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

We were playing with an awful deck.

[Dylan Wade]

When I see things on a license plate I get excited. I saw a plate like 54AAK3J and I'm thinking, "oh I got pair of aces King kicker". A friend of mine at work has JJJ in her license plate, everytime I go out to the parking lot, I think "set of jacks!"

[Warik]

My eyes light up whenever I see a customer's file who is flying on American Airlines.

[Dylan Wade]

!!

[MarkL444]

Everytime I look at a license plate i think its a flop

[luckycharms]

Somewhat different, but....

I am always the dealer at the home games I attend so I'm veeeery used to shuffling. Whenever I botch a shuffle or watch someone else do an atrocious shuffle, it's like hearing nails scraped across a chalkboard. I can't stand it

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]
The other night I told my wife I was all-in, and she said, "Really? It doesn't feel like it . . . you must be bluffing."

[/ QUOTE ]

It's possible your stack was so small that she didn't even notice. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[surfdoc]

[ QUOTE ]
The other night I told my wife I was all-in, and she said, "Really? It doesn't feel like it . . . you must be bluffing."

[/ QUOTE ]

Perhaps next time if you come over the top you will get her to make a big laydown. Maybe then you can show her the nutz.

[SuitedSixes]

Last time I showed her the nutz, she accused me of a string raise!

[Kevroc]

and I'm sure that left you in bad position playing with your small pocket pair /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[Kenshin]

you guys are talking about sex right?

Kenshin

[Warik]

THIS JUST IN

My girlfriend saw a van today that had:

"ROYAL FLUSH PLUMBING" on the side and the logo was the spade royal cards.

Signs you're playing too much poker? You name your business after a poker hand!

[SuitedSixes]

No, you pervert! Poker!

Poke Her?

[balt999]

Looking at your drivers license or credit cards like it's your hole cards..I find myself doing that before I make a purchase with my Debit Card.

[Joe826]

so you slap them down on the counter in pairs and bend the edges up?

[DonWaade]

lol, My brother told me that when he looks at most license plates he tries to decide if it is a good flop or a playable hand depending if it is a car or truck.

[Richard Berg]

I've started classifying relationship tactics in poker terms.

"She's started to get in the habit of crying for no reason, then not telling me how I can help." Fold, you're drawing dead.

"I may be unemployed but I've got a CS degree from a top-10 university. Say baby, I give good head." A classic semi-bluff.*

"We made out for awhile on our late date but nothing serious happened. Today I decided to play a little hard-to-get at first, but once she got hot & heavy I started ripping clothes off." Only experts should attempt to check-raise this river.

*Note: a "S&M semi-bluff" has different overtones in this context

[nykenny]

[ QUOTE ]
I just got home from work, saw a leftover pizza box on the stove with two raunchy looking slices left, and said to myself:
"I should probably fold that"

[/ QUOTE ]

hey, i just joined the gym downstairs from my work. 1BB per month for membership fee.

[nykenny]

[ QUOTE ]
THIS JUST IN

My girlfriend saw a van today that had:

"ROYAL FLUSH PLUMBING" on the side and the logo was the spade royal cards.

Signs you're playing too much poker? You name your business after a poker hand!

[/ QUOTE ]

while this is true, but this guy might not even play poker. many people will use royal flush as a metaphor for "the best", "the king of"...

now if the company name is "Runner Runner Backdoor Gutshot Nut Straight", you KNOW with 100% certainty that he does play a lot of poker! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
now if the company name is "Runner Runner Backdoor Gutshot Nut Straight", you KNOW with 100% certainty that he does play a lot of poker! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Or "Open-ended Wrap-Around Straight Flush Draw" indicating that he is going to make sure that the ends of your pipes are open so that you can flush straight... but that he's a total fish who draws to wrap-around's and you should invite him to play heads-up when he's done.

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
hey, i just joined the gym downstairs from my work. 1BB per month for membership fee.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's a ripoff! My gym is only 0.8BB (0.55BB for you). I hope they gave you a bonus code. Just don't smoke cigarettes while you're on the treadmill. That's a very -EV play.

[CORed]

What's really bad is when you've been playing too much blackjack, get into a holdem game, get dealt AA and put them face up on the table and say "split 'em".

[cnfuzzd]

I have had heroin junkies tell me i needed to get out more. Sad.

peace

john nickle

[JoeU]

On my last trip to Vegas, I was chit-chatting with NPA Ed Miller. My wife returned to the bar from a little penny slot action and whispered to me that she was up $50, but lost it all. I then immedaitely leaned over to Ed and said:

"My wife was up 5000 Big Bets at the slot machine!, but she gave it all back!"

We then had a 20 minute conversation about how we refer to things in terms of BB! If you don't believe me, just ask Ed what his I-Pod cost. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Joe

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
but that he's a total fish who draws to wrap-around's and you should invite him to play heads-up when he's done.

[/ QUOTE ]

warik you are a closet homosexual...

also, the other day i thought i'd be awsome if i could pay my rent with neteller

[ggano]

As you head to the restroom, you see the sign on the door as you enter and "The Master" pops into your head. (Male poker addicts only.)

This just happened to me 5 minutes ago.

[Skyler]

This is for people who have occasional home games and don't play at B&Ms often:

You fish through your pocket and find a chip from your last trip to the casino.

If you're at a bar, you try to pay the waitress with it.

When the waitress asks for *real* money you think to yourself that the US Treasury needs to upgrade the gram-quality of its chips as they're not heavy enough for standard play.

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
My mom knew I was playing poker alot at school and was already worried I wasn't getting good grades, or socializing, or whatever else moms worry about. Anyways, I got 3 A's and 2 B's. My mom asked me about my grades shortly after I got home and I told her I got "A's full of B's". Good thing she didn't know what it meant, I think she thought I was trying to be a smartass or something. I should have added a "and MHIG" after it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Man, this is really, really freaking funny.

[Skyler]

You know your playing too much poker when...

...you check for monsters hiding under your bed. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[beachbum]

When you're all-in, just make sure you use your all-in protection. Oh, and make sure you have more than one. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[surfdoc]

Yesterday I handed my 3 year old 2 disc shaped chewable vitamins and she responded, "look daddy poker chips."

[fireman664]

I posted this one a while back, but it fits here (this is when I knew I had a problem). I was on the roof of your typical run down abandoned inner city house fire. The roof felt a little "soggy" and I actually said, "its gotta be a good 10-1 against this roof letting go". Then it did. Me and a buddy rode it down (we were both fine). Got up, dusted ourselves off, and I said "we just got rivered... what a bad beat".... Not even a laugh from my buddy (he doesnt play poker). sometimes my best jokes dont even get a response. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[fyodor]

well you got one out of me

[juanez]

/images/graemlins/cool.gif