Zeno
05-25-2004, 12:40 AM
I received a lovely letter today from The Nation, a magazine that espouses all the paragons of right, wrong, and all that is between. A Stamp on the outside of the envelope was the teaser – Election Year 2004 ALERT. The other teaser was the blurb, also on the outside of the envelope (my rebuttals in brackets):
What you should know BEFORE the November elections about……
George W. Bush’s vision for the future [apparently visions are bad things and The Nation staff are all mind readers of Houdinian proportion into Bush’s Visions, such acumen is most noteworthy]
…..war profiteering in Iraq…[What idiot goes to war for the purpose of losing money?]
…..Dick Cheney’s tax dodges [No one at The Nation lies on their tax forms]
…..violating human rights….[a meaningless and amorphous charge that could be shoved at the feet of 99.99 % of the polictians that ever bullied their way into office]
……the President and Sex…[ In no way am I interested in the sex life of George Bush, this could only be dull and duller in content, besides Billy Boy still gets top billing and this hackneyed approach to sex to attract attention is pusillanimous at best – The Nation is getting lazy on this one also]
……and MORE. [ I ripped open the enveloped breathing heavily in anticipation]
Inside was a monstrous propaganda letter that would make George Orwell proud. Many things were ‘unmasked’, ‘discovered’, or ‘well-documented’, in addition to such ringers as ‘Looking beyond’, and ‘No subject is off limits’. I was mesmerized and stumbled about my living room in a hypnotic daze as this modern day apocalyptic literature revealed to me the unrevealable and fixed the hither-to- fold unfixedable. I fell on my knees and made supplicant gestures to The Letter as it laid glowing and pulsating with the wisdom of the ages on my plain and unadorned coffee table. I so ecstatic; I almost spoke in tongues.
Surely, the Trinity also subscribe to The Nation to keep up on the more important matters, visions, and undiscovered facts that, unbeknownst to them but certainly known by The Nation, slip thought the deities fingers during their daily briefings on the upkeep and running of the Universe. Dare I, a mere mortal, miss out on these most astounding pontifications by the most astute know-it-alls of all time? “Surely NOT”, I raged to no one in particular, “Why, The Nation almost knows as much as Noam Chomsky” [If such a thing can even be conceived], I shouted into the gloomy mists that permeate my humble abode.
In a more intimate and darling gesture, hidden amongst other scraps of propaganda, was a very personal letter signed by ‘Katrina vanden Heuvel, Editor’. Her head and shoulder portrait, of thumb nail size, stared out in non-comitial fashion near her signature. She’s cute. I’m so glad she took time out of her busy schedule to send me a note. And quite a note it is. I quote ‘ The people currently running this country are, as Bill Greider wrote in a recent Nation cover story, on a crusade to roll back the twentieth century.’
E-gads! Let’s take a gander at the good old bygone era of the twentieth century – Started out with American imperialism just getting its footing while all the other imperialist looked on in envy; The Mexican Revolution; then a world war; then a depression and the rise of fascism; Spanish civil war, then another world war, with a few no good people taking a breather in some ovens; then the rise of the cold war with all the attendant fanaticism; communist butcheries; sundry skirmishes in Panama, Afghanistan, El Salvador, Nicaragua, India, Korea, Vietnam, Northern Ireland, Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia, Angola, and scores more, The Gulf War, Culture Wars, Education Wars, Environmental Wars, Aids, and on and on. I am only trying to hit the more glorious high points. Others can full in the more burdensome details if they wish.
I am subscribing to THE NATION today – I don’t want to be left behind, I must charge ahead into the vanguard with The Nation leading the way:
Roll, Roll, Roll your boat – gentle down the stream,
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily - life is but a dream.
-Le Misanthrope
What you should know BEFORE the November elections about……
George W. Bush’s vision for the future [apparently visions are bad things and The Nation staff are all mind readers of Houdinian proportion into Bush’s Visions, such acumen is most noteworthy]
…..war profiteering in Iraq…[What idiot goes to war for the purpose of losing money?]
…..Dick Cheney’s tax dodges [No one at The Nation lies on their tax forms]
…..violating human rights….[a meaningless and amorphous charge that could be shoved at the feet of 99.99 % of the polictians that ever bullied their way into office]
……the President and Sex…[ In no way am I interested in the sex life of George Bush, this could only be dull and duller in content, besides Billy Boy still gets top billing and this hackneyed approach to sex to attract attention is pusillanimous at best – The Nation is getting lazy on this one also]
……and MORE. [ I ripped open the enveloped breathing heavily in anticipation]
Inside was a monstrous propaganda letter that would make George Orwell proud. Many things were ‘unmasked’, ‘discovered’, or ‘well-documented’, in addition to such ringers as ‘Looking beyond’, and ‘No subject is off limits’. I was mesmerized and stumbled about my living room in a hypnotic daze as this modern day apocalyptic literature revealed to me the unrevealable and fixed the hither-to- fold unfixedable. I fell on my knees and made supplicant gestures to The Letter as it laid glowing and pulsating with the wisdom of the ages on my plain and unadorned coffee table. I so ecstatic; I almost spoke in tongues.
Surely, the Trinity also subscribe to The Nation to keep up on the more important matters, visions, and undiscovered facts that, unbeknownst to them but certainly known by The Nation, slip thought the deities fingers during their daily briefings on the upkeep and running of the Universe. Dare I, a mere mortal, miss out on these most astounding pontifications by the most astute know-it-alls of all time? “Surely NOT”, I raged to no one in particular, “Why, The Nation almost knows as much as Noam Chomsky” [If such a thing can even be conceived], I shouted into the gloomy mists that permeate my humble abode.
In a more intimate and darling gesture, hidden amongst other scraps of propaganda, was a very personal letter signed by ‘Katrina vanden Heuvel, Editor’. Her head and shoulder portrait, of thumb nail size, stared out in non-comitial fashion near her signature. She’s cute. I’m so glad she took time out of her busy schedule to send me a note. And quite a note it is. I quote ‘ The people currently running this country are, as Bill Greider wrote in a recent Nation cover story, on a crusade to roll back the twentieth century.’
E-gads! Let’s take a gander at the good old bygone era of the twentieth century – Started out with American imperialism just getting its footing while all the other imperialist looked on in envy; The Mexican Revolution; then a world war; then a depression and the rise of fascism; Spanish civil war, then another world war, with a few no good people taking a breather in some ovens; then the rise of the cold war with all the attendant fanaticism; communist butcheries; sundry skirmishes in Panama, Afghanistan, El Salvador, Nicaragua, India, Korea, Vietnam, Northern Ireland, Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia, Angola, and scores more, The Gulf War, Culture Wars, Education Wars, Environmental Wars, Aids, and on and on. I am only trying to hit the more glorious high points. Others can full in the more burdensome details if they wish.
I am subscribing to THE NATION today – I don’t want to be left behind, I must charge ahead into the vanguard with The Nation leading the way:
Roll, Roll, Roll your boat – gentle down the stream,
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily - life is but a dream.
-Le Misanthrope