ElSapo
05-23-2004, 12:31 PM
An artist in D.C. had an “open studio” this weekend. He works and lives out of his studio apartment in Adams Morgan, and work seems to be about all he does. He was quoted by the Washington Post as saying something along the lines of, “as long as my painting makes enough money for art supplies, the mortgage and brown rice, I think I’m a success.” So the quote (that wasn’t exact) intrigued me. I’d met him a couple of times before, have a couple of his smaller pieces, but I was curious -- is he really that single-minded? Is painting really all he wants to do?
So I showed up at his apartment Saturday morning. It was one of the most intense things I’ve ever seen. His apartment is literally covered in paintings. He has a bunk bed with a mattress on top and his stereo and a chair underneath. A computer in the corner where he runs his website from. A television on one wall, a chair in front of it. And paint everywhere. Everywhere.
The place was expansive and restrictive at the same time, if that makes sense. The wooden floor is covered in splattered paint. There are portfolios of his work and stacks of paintings. The entire single-room apartment really is dedicated to living and painting. I was amazed.
You don’t see that kind of dedication to one thing very often, and you don’t meet very many people who define their own success by doing the one thing which they love. Actually, I don’t think you find many people who define their own success in general -- I suspect most let others do it for them -- so getting a glimpse of something so single-minded was a shock.
For the record, I think he more than covers his brown rice allotment. He seems to be very successful and is getting a lot of recognition. And one of the nicest things about it is how surprised he seems by this -- modest, but eager to talk about everything he’s doing. Not bragging, but in a “wow, can you believe it,” kind of way.
Which brings me to another thought -- I have no idea what I want to do. None. I’m 27 years old, with a degree in journalism and a job with a publication I have zero interest in. Quitting is easy, but I don’t know what to do after that. And frankly, there is little motivation to quit. The job pays relatively well, and affords me time to do whatever else it is I want to do.
And yet, I’m tired of not caring about 8-9 hours of 5/7 days a week. That seems too much to give up, too big a chunk to be emotionally detached from. To put it in poker terms, there’s a lot of EV in those 45 hours a week, but I keep mucking.
Much of it comes down to defining success. By many people’s standards, I am successful. I live in a city I love, I get paid to do very little, I have few worries and a fair amount of security. And yet (at work) I’m not really successful, I’m just breaking even. I want to care about those 8-9 hours of my days, instead of using them to simply plan what I’ll do after they’re over.
I need to take a leap. I know I'll be fine. But I just don't know what to make that leap towards, and it's to the point where direction may be less important than motion.
These aren’t new questions, I know this. They’re just my thoughts this Sunday.
ElSapo
So I showed up at his apartment Saturday morning. It was one of the most intense things I’ve ever seen. His apartment is literally covered in paintings. He has a bunk bed with a mattress on top and his stereo and a chair underneath. A computer in the corner where he runs his website from. A television on one wall, a chair in front of it. And paint everywhere. Everywhere.
The place was expansive and restrictive at the same time, if that makes sense. The wooden floor is covered in splattered paint. There are portfolios of his work and stacks of paintings. The entire single-room apartment really is dedicated to living and painting. I was amazed.
You don’t see that kind of dedication to one thing very often, and you don’t meet very many people who define their own success by doing the one thing which they love. Actually, I don’t think you find many people who define their own success in general -- I suspect most let others do it for them -- so getting a glimpse of something so single-minded was a shock.
For the record, I think he more than covers his brown rice allotment. He seems to be very successful and is getting a lot of recognition. And one of the nicest things about it is how surprised he seems by this -- modest, but eager to talk about everything he’s doing. Not bragging, but in a “wow, can you believe it,” kind of way.
Which brings me to another thought -- I have no idea what I want to do. None. I’m 27 years old, with a degree in journalism and a job with a publication I have zero interest in. Quitting is easy, but I don’t know what to do after that. And frankly, there is little motivation to quit. The job pays relatively well, and affords me time to do whatever else it is I want to do.
And yet, I’m tired of not caring about 8-9 hours of 5/7 days a week. That seems too much to give up, too big a chunk to be emotionally detached from. To put it in poker terms, there’s a lot of EV in those 45 hours a week, but I keep mucking.
Much of it comes down to defining success. By many people’s standards, I am successful. I live in a city I love, I get paid to do very little, I have few worries and a fair amount of security. And yet (at work) I’m not really successful, I’m just breaking even. I want to care about those 8-9 hours of my days, instead of using them to simply plan what I’ll do after they’re over.
I need to take a leap. I know I'll be fine. But I just don't know what to make that leap towards, and it's to the point where direction may be less important than motion.
These aren’t new questions, I know this. They’re just my thoughts this Sunday.
ElSapo