ESPN.com poll sparked office debate

[Tyler Durden]

This morning's poll asked what's the hardest thing to do in sports: a) skate backwards b) hit a Major League fastball or c) run a marathon.

One of my coworkers said anyone who can train to run a marathon can also learn to hit a 95 mile per hour fastball. No way, I said.

Your thoughts?

[Glenn]

Oprah ran a marathon.

You can run a marathon as slowly as you want, but a 95 mph fastball is always 95 mph.

[Oski]

The key word is "fastball". If you know its coming and you are SURE its a fastball, the chances of you hitting it go way up.

So, here it goes: Marathon...yes, even Oprah did it. So down to fastball and backwords skating. If you have the coordination and dexterity to learn how to skate backwards, you certainly SHOULD have the coordination to hit the fastball.

A lot of people cannot even WALK backwords or skate forwards - put the two together and you have the most lethal combo since Joey Buttafuco and Amy Fisher.

I'm going with backwards skating.

[blackaces13]

Those are the only 3 choices? That is pathetic.

Anything done in Gymnastics is harder than any of that for an average person (think balance beam), figure skating as well, same for diving. How about a triple backflip off the 10m platform starting from a handstand position?

You give me 50 straight 95 MPH fastballs and I'll hit one of em. You let me train for a month and I'll cross the finishline in a marathon even if it takes me 6 hours. Give me a month and I'll also be able to skate backwards.

I would NEVER be able to give you a routine on the uneven bars, pommel (sp?) horse, rings, balance beam or any other aparatus. I could never land a triple lutz, and I sure as hell would never do any flips from 33ft above a pool, people have died landing wrong in diving.

[Gamblor]

Give me a month and I'll also be able to skate backwards.

I started skating at 2 years old, and I couldn't skate backwards until I was 14..

[Oski]

[ QUOTE ]
Those are the only 3 choices? That is pathetic.

Anything done in Gymnastics is harder than any of that for an average person (think balance beam), figure skating as well, same for diving. How about a triple backflip off the 10m platform starting from a handstand position?



[/ QUOTE ]

Pull your head outta the pickel barrel. The poll question is clearly stated and does not imply we are deciding the most impressive athletic feats. If you want to talk gymnastics (who doesn't) make up your own poll (or pole).

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Pull your head outta the pickel barrel. The poll question is clearly stated and does not imply we are deciding the most impressive athletic feats. If you want to talk gymnastics (who doesn't) make up your own poll (or pole).

[/ QUOTE ]
and if you really want to talk about gymnastics why don't you go smoke a pole while your at it.

[M2d]

I'm going to extend the assumption a bit and say that "major league fastball" means a fastball at the major league average with the accompanying movement and control that a big league pitcher has on it. Also, I assume that you would be expecting anything from the pitcher's repertoire (but get the heat). the fastball wins (in this game scenario) hands down.

[ThaSaltCracka]

I am going to go with hitting a MLB fastball, followed closely by skating backwards. But I will say, those of you who think hitting a fastball is easy have know idea how fast 95 mph is. 75-80 is pretty hard to do as well. I don't think many people could catch up to Johnson or Nolan Ryan. It is true that essentialy any player in MLB can hit a fastball, they are usually referring to a 88-92 mph fastball. 95+ is really fuckin fast.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[Oski]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm going to extend the assumption a bit and say that "major league fastball" means a fastball at the major league average with the accompanying movement and control that a big league pitcher has on it. Also, I assume that you would be expecting anything from the pitcher's repertoire (but get the heat). the fastball wins (in this game scenario) hands down.

[/ QUOTE ]

I get your point, but you cannot make that assumption. If such was intended, the choice would simply state "hit major league pitching".

[TimTimSalabim]

I would wager that none of us could hit the ball in a thousand tries (unless one of you posters happens to be a major leaguer)...

http://www.exploratorium.edu/baseball/biobaseball.html

[HDPM]

I can skate backwards so it isn't that hard. (I think anybody could learn to)

I knew an amazing endurance athlete who took up ultra marathon type events later in life, like mid 40's or '50's. He would do those ridiculous events like quintuple ironmans and stuff. Races where you're on a bike 22 hours a day for a week or whatever. 100 mile mountain runs were a snap, etc... He said endutrance stuff is mostly mental, at least once you reach a given level of fitness. I think he thiks it is easier than it is, but I know there are a lot of people who don't have world class running/endurance abilities who can run a marathon after some training. And I have known some.

Now, a major league fastball. Forget it. That takes ability. I'm not talking about a lucky swing, but being able to have a chance to make a real swing at it. And you have the fear factor too. You won't die skating backwards, and running a marathon is a slow death, or at least you might have a warning before you keel over. Facing a real fast ball is not something you can just train and do. You have to have some ability and be willing to stand in.

Fastball is the hardest of the three options IMO.


P.S. The question is flawed because the only skill that requires you to do it at a world class level is the baseball one. If you had to run a marathon in the top few hundred times of the year or skate backwards playing defense for the Canadiens, the question would be more comparable/accurate. And then it would turn into one of those sports debates w/ no good answer etc.... /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

b) and it doesn't even approach being close.

Having played hockey (as a goalie) I can tell you that skating backwards isn't all that hard. In fact, the balance is more natural than skating forward.

Running a marathon is simply a training issue.

Hitting major-league pitching (as opposed to just the fastball) involves inhuman hand-eye coordination.
Actually, a lot of AA & AAA hitters can hit the fastest fastball there is. It's the ability to adjust to changes of speed that make hitting major-league pitching so tough.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

Give me a month and I'll also be able to skate backwards.

If you're at all coordinated, you'll learn it in a day.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

Must be something about coordination as a child. Really, give me an adult that can skate forward and I can have him skating backwards the same day we start. It just isn't that hard.

[daryn]

i think you're terribly wrong here.. i have hit plenty of 90 mph fastballs hard for hits, of course this was in a batting cage, and the first few blew right by me.

if someone just pitches fastballs at you all day, eventually you will get the timing down and it will be crackatoa.

but if you just stood in the box and someone threw a fastball at you once, if you hit it, and i mean hit it for a hit, that's a serious skill.

[Nepa]

I don't know if this counts but I have hit a 95 MPH fastball at a batting cage.

Skating backwards isn't really hard but I'm sure I busted my head a few times doing it.

I'm go with Marathon as the hardest.

B.T.W. Nascar is so easy it shouldn't even be a sport.

[TimTimSalabim]

Perhaps I should have been more specific... with all due respect to your accomplishment (and it's probably much better than I could do) I'm not talking about hitting a ball hard in a batting cage. I'm talking a real live pitcher who can mix up his pitches, real live fielders, and actually getting a base hit.

[Nepa]

How about a bet then? You run the marathon and I'll stand in the batter box and I'll bet you I'll hit 5 95 MPH fastballs before you get through your second mile. Plus, You have to pay me double if I hit one out of Coor's Field. That is like a LL park, isn't it?

[Oski]

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps I should have been more specific... with all due respect to your accomplishment (and it's probably much better than I could do) I'm not talking about hitting a ball hard in a batting cage. I'm talking a real live pitcher who can mix up his pitches, real live fielders, and actually getting a base hit.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's fine, but that's not the question. From the article you linked, it is clear the one major challenge of hitting pitching is determining what type of pitch is coming.

[ QUOTE ]
By the time the ball has traveled a dozen feet from the pitcher's mound, the batter has a good visual fix on it. In a thought process much too quick for deliberation, he has decided whether or not the pitch is a fastball, curveball, slider, knuckleball, screwball, or whatever -- yet a good deal of data has gone into this instantaneous and non-verbal decision.

[/ QUOTE ]

HDPM: [ QUOTE ]
P.S. The question is flawed because the only skill that requires you to do it at a world class level is the baseball one. If you had to run a marathon in the top few hundred times of the year or skate backwards playing defense for the Canadiens, the question would be more comparable/accurate. And then it would turn into one of those sports debates w/ no good answer etc....

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, here its not professional level, either. You know its coming, its not "pitching" you are up against, its a fastball.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, here its not professional level, either. You know its coming, its not "pitching" you are up against, its a fastball.

[/ QUOTE ]
No, they say Major League fastball, so it is professional. Now if you knew someone was going to throw you a fastball for a strike, that does not translate into, "here comes fastball, swing at the right time and presto I have a hit." No this is an MLB fastball, so four things factor in here IMO. 1. Speed, a MLB fastball can range from 88-100 MPH. 2. Velocity(movement), some pitchers fastball moves more than others (left/right, up/down) then others. 3. Location, this ball could of course be right down the middle, or it could be anywhere in the strike zone. A fastball high and in is not easy to get a hold of and one low and away is hard to get any good contact on. 4. type of fastball, there are more than a few types of fastballs thrown in the majors, each with varying effects(movement, speed).

So simply knowing a fastball is coming is not simply good enough, you could be looking for the fastball inside, and then there it goes on the outside corner freezing you.

Again they say MLB fastball, not bush league fastball.

[M2d]

all kidding aside (as well as inserting my own parameters), I still think hitting the fastball is the toughest of the three. We agree on the marathon thing (though I'd never try it), but I disagree with this statement
[ QUOTE ]
If you have the coordination and dexterity to learn how to skate backwards, you certainly SHOULD have the coordination to hit the fastball.


[/ QUOTE ]
I believe the opposite is true, but I think you're underestimating the strength, coordination and quickness needed to even get some wood on a major league fastball. granted, if you start your swing when the pitcher is in his windup, close your eyes and pray, there's always the chance that you'll hit something. This luck factor is really not present in the skating backwards thing. However, in order to repeatedly display this skill (hitting), you have to have someone far more gifted than the average backwards skater.
I'd even hazard a guess that most posters couldn't bunt a major league fastball (into fair territory).

[Porcupine]

Count me as another vote for hitting a fastball as the hardest.

When they say "hit a major league fastball", I'm going to assume they mean a ball with movement and into fair territory (and not a bunt).

Skating backwards can't be that hard. I went from barely being able to stand on skates (never skated in my life) to being able to get around the rink pretty well in 2 short sessions last winter.

With no time limit on the marathon, I don't see it being that hard to do. If "run a marathon" means never walking/stopping then it would be much harder, but still doable with training.

[Oski]

You know what? I am wrong. I read the poll question incorrectly. Somehow, I got the idea the option was hitting a 95mph fastball. The option is "major leaque" fastball, and all of the comments with that in mind are correct. Therefore, this would mean the pitch will not come in the vacuum of knowing it "is coming" at at an exact speed. Here, I could not agree with you guys more.

* I had a brief career in college as a pitcher before blowing out my arm and heading for the pitcher.

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
* I had a brief career in college as a pitcher before blowing out my arm and heading for the pitcher.

[/ QUOTE ]
odd, me to, but not at the level you played at (I assume you went to cal)NAIA ball for me.
If you did go to cal, what years? I have some good friends who played there.

[Oski]

Transferred to Cal. Graduated in 1996. I played breifly at Cal Poly; blew out my arm; transferred. I would not have sniffed 6Pac (Pac 10, but for baseball) even if healthy.

[ThaSaltCracka]

I am going to make my own poll, humor me guys if you will.
These situations should all be considered as taking place in the highest professional league, with consistency ( ie. .300+ BA, etc...)
Is it harder to:
a. Hit a baseball,ny pitch, under any circumstance.
b. Catch the long downfield passes with solid coverage in football.
c. Stop NHL Slapshots with consistency(is that pretty hard in Hockey???)
I think a. is hardest cuz I like baseball the most, but if you really think about it, hitting in baseball is absurdly hard. The only sport in which you are doing well if you get a hit 1 in every 3 at bats.

[andyfox]

Good point. I mean, one could run the marathon in 8 hours, or skate backwards for 3 feet. But you can't mickey mouse a major league fastball. I had trouble catching up to a 70 mph'er at the batting cage with my son. And that's when I'm not scared it's gonna hit me in the noggin.

[M2d]

If I hadn't blown out my arm my sophmore year at Willamette (actually, I did it body surfing over summer) i never would have started playing poker (homegames with a couple of other injured players). Odd how things work out.

[daryn]

right, but did the question ask about a pitcher mixing it up and fooling the batter, or did it ask about the ability to hit one certain type of pitch, the fastball? that's my main point.

if i were to ever get in the box with a real major league pitcher, switching up speeds and action on me, no doubt i would strike out.

[superleeds]

I think your right. In the latter hand eye co-ordination is as important as technical ability and I would say this is an innate quality rather than a skill that can be learned, at least at the levels mentioned.

[adios]

[Oski]

[ QUOTE ]
Re: How about throwing a 95 mile an hour fastball ?

[/ QUOTE ]

As said by Crash Davis in Bull Durham to Nuke LaLoosh(paraphrasing) God struck you with a thunderbolt and gave you the ability...

Can't be learned, can't be taught...but you can eff your shoulder up trying.

[slavic]

Folks, I can hit a 95mph fastball. Given time many of you can too. It's not hard to teach, some of you won't hit it well but we can get you to make contact.

That wasn't the question though.

hit a Major League fastball

I can't do that and neither can 99% of the country. At that level pitchers have something special. The fastball has a little extra rise or sink, curves a bit in, seems to jump, or the laces rotate wrong for the pitch. If it was laser beam straight those pitchers would get pounded, the ball is live however and when you mix other pitches with it, well good luck.

[WEASEL45]

it depends where the slapshot is from but if there is traffic in front of the net that is when it gets really hard

[M2d]

I had a teammate in college who lifted his way to ten extra miles an hour. Before I knew him, he was evidently a scrawny kid, but he lifted his @$$ off and all of a sudden was throwing in the mid 80s. ugliest form you'd ever seen. kind of like Al Hbroski's (sp?) effort with barney's talent.
Anyway, he jumped from mid 70's to mid 80's with a bunch of effort, but I don't think a similar jump from 80's to 90's is possible through lifting. Simple mechanical fixes won't do it either. Like crash and Oski said, you have to have been hit by that lightning bolt.

[elwoodblues]

Exactly...it's a loaded question. 2 of the 3 choices aren't restricted in a way like the "major league fastball." Given that, there's no question (though I still don't think I could run a marathon in eight hours. I get tired driving 26 miles).

Better question would be
Marathon in x amount of time
Skate backwords at y speed
Major league fastball

[ThaSaltCracka]

I mean being a goalie in hockey looks hard, but being a catcher in baseball looks hard as well. But hitting in baseball, thats tough to do, especially with consistency.

I personally think baseball is one of the hardest games to play, on a professional level. Some posistions are easier, I will agree, but overall, all the skills required to be an excellent ball player are tough to master.
Hitting is tough, fielding at certain posistions can be incredibly hard, plus knowing the ins and outs are tough to learn as well, stuff like where to play certain hitters, where to specifically throw the ball and how to throw. I have seen many people play basebal and softball who can easily hit and throw and field, but the concepts where the ball needs to go on specific plays to prevent runners from advancing/scoring they don't know. The proper baserunning for different situations they don't know. Baseball has to be the hardest sport to play and master. I think Basketball is probably the easiest, followed by football(excluding a few key posisitions). Hockey seems hard, but maybe I think that because I know little of the sport, but everything with it seems difficult to learn.

There is definitely a reason there are so many minor league baseball and hockey teams. These teams are needed for the players to learn the advanced skills needed to play on a pro level.

[Schneids]

Skating backwards shouldn't even be listed as a choice, that is how easy it is to learn with a little patience.

Without further specifications with regards to doing a marathon (ie doing it with an avg of 8:30 or less per mile), that too becomes relatively easy with some training and taking it slow enough.

I promise you that a majority of the populace would not be able to hit a 95mph fastball solid, no matter how many swings they take. They would look absolutely ridiculous.

I have seen many people try to hit in the 80mph batting cage near my house -- it is a sad sight.

I think the more interesting debate is whether hitting against a major league pitcher is the most challenging athletic feat, period.

[JoeU]

Ok, after having read a few of the replies, here's my winner:

Skate Backwards

I saw Gamblor's post that it took him 12 years to learn how to do this. I had to learn how to do it on skates and rollerblades. Talk about tough.

My take on the MLB fastball is this: the choice says "hit", not swing. This implies making contact with the pitch, not "take a full swing", and not "put it in play". I'll bet a year's salary that I can make contact with Randy Johnson's fastball in 5 trys. It's called "bunting". /images/graemlins/grin.gif Don't start the "bunting doesn't count" bit either because if I lay down a bunt and reach first without an error from the defense, that's called a hit. If the question read "put a MLB fastball in play with a full swing, this would be the overwhelming winner. Anyone with athletic ability can eventually learn how to skate backwards, but the physical act of swinging at a MLB fastball and putting it into play takes an overwhelming amount of hand/eye coordination, and the response time is in thousandths of a second.

I put the marathon choice in 2nd place in this contest. I hate driving 26 miles, let alone running it!

Joe

[ThaSaltCracka]

this is from the Take2 page at espn.com
They did this story as part of the quiz the original poster was talking about.


By Jim Caple
Page 2

EDITOR'S NOTE: As part of Page 2's series on Athleticism and Sports Degree of Difficulty, we assigned several of our writers to experience first-hand the difficulty -- or ease -- of competing with and against elite athletes in a number of sports. In this first installment, Jim Caple digs in against a flame-throwing pitcher at the top level of the Seattle Mariners' farm system. How'd he do? If it takes one to know one, then Jim still doesn't know much.

PEORIA, Ariz. -- Hitting against a major-league pitcher is often cited as the single most difficult thing to do in sports, and I believe it. Even Jamie Moyer has a fastball in the low 80s; and at that speed, you have a couple hundredths of a second to see the pitch, determine whether it's a ball or a strike, in or out, up or down, fastball or breaking ball, and whether you should try and pull it or go the opposite way or get the hell out of the way.


The Degree of Difficulty Project
Over the next two weeks, here are some of the highlights you can look forward to on Page 2:

Vote for the best male athlete in the world. The 64-athlete bracket has been unveiled.

Vote for the best female athlete in the world, starting next week.

The grid: Our panel of experts rank 60 sports in 10 different categories of athleticsm, as we ask: Which is the most difficult sport?

What is the greatest single feat of athleticism? Check out our top 10 list and tell us who you think belongs.

Can Jim Caple hit a major-league fastball? Will Jeff Merron shoot himself trying the modern pentathlon? Can Eric Neel hack it playing water polo -- against women?

The athletes speak: Starting Thursday, various athletes are grilled with questions like: Why is your sport most difficult? Who is the best athlete? What is the most difficult thing to do in sports?

Who is the greatest all-around athlete of all time? We dare to rank the 10 best.

We'll be asking for your participation and opinions throughout the project. Hope you enjoy it.
--Page 2 staff


It takes me a couple minutes to decide whether I want paper or plastic.

So when the Mariners offered to let me bat in a minor-league intrasquad game for Page 2's Ultimate Sports Degree of Difficulty series, I had no illusions about my chances. I've been around enough major-league games to know that they play at a level far beyond mine. From where I sit in the press box to watch a game, hitting a pitch doesn't necessarily look easy, but it certainly looks possible. Stand in the batter's box when a pitcher is throwing heat in the 90-mile-per-hour range, however, and it's a whole lot different. Just as you get a good read on the pitch, it's too late -- it's already passing you by.

I've played a lot of softball and a little baseball with a townball team in Minnesota; but other than that, I haven't played baseball extensively (or, more accurately, sat on the bench extensively) since I was in high school 25 years ago. So I figured I'd better spend some time in a batting cage before the big day. After a lot of frustrating swings and some painful blisters, I succeeded in hitting a few line drives up the middle.

Against the 70-mph machine.


Unfortunately, the pitcher I was to face was Matt Thornton, Seattle's first-round pick in the 1998 draft. He's 6-foot-6, left-handed and throws in the mid-90s. When I mentioned who I was facing, other Mariners shook their heads and laughed. "Oh, man -- he's got some nasty stuff."

Things begin poorly when the Mariners supply me with a full uniform and then have me walk through the big-league clubhouse after I put it on. That allows everyone -- Bret Boone, Ichiro, Dan Wilson -- to get a good look at me. I couldn't feel any more ridiculous if I was wearing a Hooters costume.


Surprisingly, I don't hear a lot of negative comments, though I suppose it's hard to speak after your jaw has dropped to the ground.


Could you hit Matt Thornton's 94-mph fastball?

It feels good to be in a baseball uniform again, though; and when I get to the field, I pick out a wonderful bat. It's light and it just feels good in my hands. It's such a beautiful bat that I want to carve "Wonderboy" into it. I know I don't stand much of a chance; but as Thornton begins to warm up, I reflect on some hits I had off the hard-throwing college pitchers in my townball and pickup league days. Plus, I had just covered a spring training game in which Garth Brooks batted and grounded out. So anything is possible, though my goal is simply to have a good-looking swing, whether I make contact or not.

My wife is on hand, telling me I look sexy in the uniform. (I think it's the protective cup.) Several people from the Mariners' front office are there as well, plus a couple dozen fans who've just wandered over to catch a free game. But I zone them all out. When I walk up to the plate, I don't hear anyone. It's just me and Thornton, just me and the pitcher, just me and the ball.


My plan is to take the first pitch, no matter what. After all, I'm the leadoff hitter; I'm expected to work the count a little bit. Nobody knows this is my game plan, so when I take a 92-mile-per-hour fastball for a ball, the benefit of the doubt has to go to me. For all they know, I'm as disciplined as Barry Bonds. Unfortunately, Thornton throws me a second pitch.

If I have any wheelhouse at all -- and that's as open to debate as whether there is extraterrestrial life in the galaxy -- the second pitch finds it. A 91-mph fastball, a little low in the strike zone and on the outside part of the plate, just where I like it. Unfortunately, my brain doesn't quite process all this information until I hear the ball popping into the catcher's glove. Strike one.

"Dammit," I think. "I should have swung at that one."

OK, I won't make that mistake again. I'm really ready now. I'm determined to swing at the next pitch. I watch Thornton carefully as he winds up and delivers a 93-mph fastball, then begin my swing and get the bat head out in front of the plate just about when the catcher is tossing the ball back to the pitcher. Strike two.

A 91-mph fastball, a little low in the strike zone and on the outside part of the plate, just where I like it. Unfortunately, my brain doesn't quite process all this information until I hear the ball popping into the catcher's glove. Strike one.

You know how some at-bats seem to drag on forever during a long game? Not this one. I'm already behind 1-2 in the count and Thornton is winding up to deliver again. OK, I think. You've got to protect the plate, swing at anything close, get that bat out there as fast as you can and ... I don't even come close. The pitch clocks 94 on the radar gun and by the time I complete my swing, they've already thrown the ball around the horn, the next batter is stepping to the plate and my wife is giving a shortstop from Double-A her phone number. I had barely been in the batter's box, and it's already time to go. I didn't see the seams on the baseball or read its spin or see the famous red dot so many batters talk about. Heck, I barely even saw the baseball, period.

And my knee suddenly hurts.

I walk away from the plate, adrenaline pumping. I want to get back in there and try my luck again, the same way an easy mark continues to throw bad money after good at a carnival midway milk-bottle toss. But the Mariners' ground rules are clear. I only get one at-bat.

I ask Roger Jongewaard, Seattle's special assistant to the general manager, whether he considers me a "draft and follow" guy, the sort of player teams draft without the intention of signing anytime soon, just to see whether they improve over the summer. Jongewaard smiles and replies, "You're more like a draft and ignore."

"I knew you were in trouble when I saw you talking to the coaches while Thornton warmed up. You should have been timing his pitches," Seattle director of player development Frank Mattox says. "And remember, he was throwing you fastballs in the strike zone. You didn't have to worry about him mixing his speeds, throwing curveballs and sliders, working you in and out, coming at you from different arm angles.

"Plus, he's a lefty. You would have had a lot harder time against a right-hander." In other words, Mattox was telling me that while I totally sucked, I would have been much, much worse had Thornton tried hard.

But it isn't a complete loss. After all, it took Thornton four pitches, not three, to strike me out. And he struck out the next batter as well, plus six more. Obviously, I wasn't the only one Thornton made look bad. And there's even a kid who comes up to me and asks me to autograph his baseball.

I seek out Thornton after the game to thank him for being such a good sport, and he tells me he is relieved that he struck me out so easily. He had been a little nervous beforehand -- as far as he was concerned, nothing good could have come of the at-bat. If he struck me out, it was what he was supposed to do. But if I got any wood on the ball at all, his teammates never would have let him hear the end of it.

"They were joking that I should throw a pitch behind your head or back to the screen," Thornton says. "I figured I'd get ahead 0-2 in the count and then do it. But the first pitch was a ball and I was afraid I was going to walk you, so I just tried to throw strikes."

When a teammate later asks Thornton how he pitched, he says it went well, that he struck out eight batters. That's good, the teammate says. Then he pauses and squints suspiciously at Thornton. Eight strikeouts? You're not counting the sportswriter are you?

Of course, Thornton says. I struck him out. It counts.

So there. I struck out on four pitches. I was late, my swing had a hitch in it, I had my weight all wrong, I hit off my front foot and I didn't come close to even fouling off a pitch. But Thornton considers me worthy enough to count in his personal stats.

I'll be sure to have my agent use that when I go to arbitration.