whiskeytown
04-17-2004, 01:38 PM
Things were looking bad for Dubya – He had an average size stack thanks to his dad dumping chips off on him before leaving the game, but he had severe deficiencies in his hand selection. His buddies always told him any two cards could win, and embraced that philosophy – but unlike when he was CEO, these guys weren’t gonna throw the game to him like his VP’s did…they wanted his money.
Dubya got to the button…the two players with the biggest stacks limped in – Dubya got his two cards and looked….No problemo – he called - Al Gore called in the BB – Al was a seasoned pro – he liked his cards and he figured the ladies (Queen of Hearts and Queen of Diamonds) wouldn’t let him down at this critical juncture –
Then before the flop was dealt, Dubya asked the players if they would all just muck…he said if they did, he would take chips from the short-stacked players who didn’t call and give them to the big stacks. – Naturally this was tempting for the players who called, and a shock for those who didn’t – Despite the fact that the dealer warned him he couldn’t give away other people’s chips, Dubya insisted that the money was there to make every player who limped in a winner if they would just muck – and they all did – except for Al Gore – Dubya gave a wink and promised the 2 players who mucked that the chips would be on their way soon. One short stack got smart, grabbed a rack, and got up and went to Canada before Dubya’s could take his chips from him in what’s called an extra “Table Drop”
The Flop wasn’t too dangerous – 9h, 3c, 6d – Al, being a professional poker player, knew now was the time to make a big push with his QQ – he thought the flop hit a piece of George W., and that fool was sure to call even an all-in bet. Al pushed all in, and Dickie (Dubya’s right hand man observing the game behind him) pushed all of Dubya’s chips in for him as a call
Now, this being no limit, Al turned his cards up – George did not – it was very strange – but no one at the table called him on this…actually a few observers noted he was supposed to turn his cards over, and they noted it in their blogs, but none of the mainstream players caught that.
The turn was a slightly scary 10 of clubs, and the really scary 2 of spades fell on the river. Now this isn’t scary to most folks, but we all know how Dubya likes to play any two rags – cards so bad that he could have hit two pair, but the chips were in, and it was time to call the hand.
Dubya’s good buddy, Dickie, with his defibulator handy, proclaimed loudly “George won, ship the pot! – Normally, one would expect Dubya to make this decision, but well, he liked to let Dickie do a lot of the dirty work, and calling a winner when he hadn’t turned up his cards was pretty dirty.
Naturally, the other players protested, to which Dubya and Dickie proudly proclaimed that their character was such that the players should just take their word for the fact that they had won, and to do less would be dishonorable and un-American.
Well, of course, this wasn’t gonna fly – so eventually, Dubya and Dickie consented and Dubya proudly threw up his 5/8 of clubs onto the table and shouted “Flush”
Well, with only 4 clubs showing, this was a bit of a surprise to the other players – but as Dickie pointed out, the last card was the third club.
“Uh, no – actually that was a spade” – said an observer to the hand…
No, Dickie shouted to the observer – “it’s a club” – Dickie then called security and had the observer escorted far from the line of sight of Dubya or anyone who might agree with him…but try as he might, he couldn’t escort the other players from the table…they were allowed to sit there, since they were playing and all.
For the next 10 minutes, debate raged between Dubya, who insisted the last card was a club, and the rest of the table, who insisted on calling a spade a spade – finally, it got to the point where the players asked to have the floor called over so this could get resolved and the game could continue getting played.
It was then that Al’s shock sank in…for the 9 floormen who came over were very familiar with George W…they made their fortunes off his Dad and his Dad was a part owner of the cardroom – and they ruled (by a majority of 5-4) that ALTHOUGH the last card was technically a Spade, and ALTHOUGH George didn’t have the flush, - but because he THOUGHT he did, and because any further delays would cost the room money and all and threaten the reputation of the poker room, that George W. would be awarded the pot…(when recounting the story yrs later, he’d say he couldn’t remember if the last card was a club or not) –
At this point, Dubya reached over to the four players who didn’t play, grabbed a stack from each of them, and handed it to the players with the two biggest stacks who had mucked preflop – The floor nodded approvingly, saying something about some new poker rule that guaranteed that half of all the poker players in the room are supposed to have more money when they leave then when they start. – An observer noted that a large proportion of those players were already the biggest stacks, but Dickie had that observer shuffled off as well around the corner where he couldn’t be seen protesting. –
I could tell you about the other crap that went on that day…how Dubya got up from the table and was AWOL, but still got the pot shipped to him after the dealer checked his cards and decided he was the winner – how Dubya tried to argue with another player that gambling was immoral and he should muck because God would want him to – or the racial insults that he hurled at the Arabs and non-Christian players around the table….or the time he went up to Sam, called him a cheater, had Dickie punch him in the face and removed from the table, even though no one could find any evidence of Sam’s cheating (He was a real bastard, but he wasn’t a cheater and didn’t deserve to be removed from the game on the word of an alcoholic liar) - but suffice it to say…these are all stories for another time….
Only one man is a bigger fool then Dubya….that’s the guy who plays at the same table with him.
I will no longer play poker with Dubya and Dickie
Dubya got to the button…the two players with the biggest stacks limped in – Dubya got his two cards and looked….No problemo – he called - Al Gore called in the BB – Al was a seasoned pro – he liked his cards and he figured the ladies (Queen of Hearts and Queen of Diamonds) wouldn’t let him down at this critical juncture –
Then before the flop was dealt, Dubya asked the players if they would all just muck…he said if they did, he would take chips from the short-stacked players who didn’t call and give them to the big stacks. – Naturally this was tempting for the players who called, and a shock for those who didn’t – Despite the fact that the dealer warned him he couldn’t give away other people’s chips, Dubya insisted that the money was there to make every player who limped in a winner if they would just muck – and they all did – except for Al Gore – Dubya gave a wink and promised the 2 players who mucked that the chips would be on their way soon. One short stack got smart, grabbed a rack, and got up and went to Canada before Dubya’s could take his chips from him in what’s called an extra “Table Drop”
The Flop wasn’t too dangerous – 9h, 3c, 6d – Al, being a professional poker player, knew now was the time to make a big push with his QQ – he thought the flop hit a piece of George W., and that fool was sure to call even an all-in bet. Al pushed all in, and Dickie (Dubya’s right hand man observing the game behind him) pushed all of Dubya’s chips in for him as a call
Now, this being no limit, Al turned his cards up – George did not – it was very strange – but no one at the table called him on this…actually a few observers noted he was supposed to turn his cards over, and they noted it in their blogs, but none of the mainstream players caught that.
The turn was a slightly scary 10 of clubs, and the really scary 2 of spades fell on the river. Now this isn’t scary to most folks, but we all know how Dubya likes to play any two rags – cards so bad that he could have hit two pair, but the chips were in, and it was time to call the hand.
Dubya’s good buddy, Dickie, with his defibulator handy, proclaimed loudly “George won, ship the pot! – Normally, one would expect Dubya to make this decision, but well, he liked to let Dickie do a lot of the dirty work, and calling a winner when he hadn’t turned up his cards was pretty dirty.
Naturally, the other players protested, to which Dubya and Dickie proudly proclaimed that their character was such that the players should just take their word for the fact that they had won, and to do less would be dishonorable and un-American.
Well, of course, this wasn’t gonna fly – so eventually, Dubya and Dickie consented and Dubya proudly threw up his 5/8 of clubs onto the table and shouted “Flush”
Well, with only 4 clubs showing, this was a bit of a surprise to the other players – but as Dickie pointed out, the last card was the third club.
“Uh, no – actually that was a spade” – said an observer to the hand…
No, Dickie shouted to the observer – “it’s a club” – Dickie then called security and had the observer escorted far from the line of sight of Dubya or anyone who might agree with him…but try as he might, he couldn’t escort the other players from the table…they were allowed to sit there, since they were playing and all.
For the next 10 minutes, debate raged between Dubya, who insisted the last card was a club, and the rest of the table, who insisted on calling a spade a spade – finally, it got to the point where the players asked to have the floor called over so this could get resolved and the game could continue getting played.
It was then that Al’s shock sank in…for the 9 floormen who came over were very familiar with George W…they made their fortunes off his Dad and his Dad was a part owner of the cardroom – and they ruled (by a majority of 5-4) that ALTHOUGH the last card was technically a Spade, and ALTHOUGH George didn’t have the flush, - but because he THOUGHT he did, and because any further delays would cost the room money and all and threaten the reputation of the poker room, that George W. would be awarded the pot…(when recounting the story yrs later, he’d say he couldn’t remember if the last card was a club or not) –
At this point, Dubya reached over to the four players who didn’t play, grabbed a stack from each of them, and handed it to the players with the two biggest stacks who had mucked preflop – The floor nodded approvingly, saying something about some new poker rule that guaranteed that half of all the poker players in the room are supposed to have more money when they leave then when they start. – An observer noted that a large proportion of those players were already the biggest stacks, but Dickie had that observer shuffled off as well around the corner where he couldn’t be seen protesting. –
I could tell you about the other crap that went on that day…how Dubya got up from the table and was AWOL, but still got the pot shipped to him after the dealer checked his cards and decided he was the winner – how Dubya tried to argue with another player that gambling was immoral and he should muck because God would want him to – or the racial insults that he hurled at the Arabs and non-Christian players around the table….or the time he went up to Sam, called him a cheater, had Dickie punch him in the face and removed from the table, even though no one could find any evidence of Sam’s cheating (He was a real bastard, but he wasn’t a cheater and didn’t deserve to be removed from the game on the word of an alcoholic liar) - but suffice it to say…these are all stories for another time….
Only one man is a bigger fool then Dubya….that’s the guy who plays at the same table with him.
I will no longer play poker with Dubya and Dickie