A Seemingly Simple Question

[Zeno]

Is God Lazy?

[ThaSaltCracka]

if you believe in God, then the answer is no.
If you don't believe in God, then the answer is who cares.

[Zeno]

ThaSaltCracka,

You answered this question too quickly. You need to give it much more thought and time. At least a day or two I would think. Trust me - you will have a different answer by then.

-Zeno

[bigpooch]

If anything, too much work is done for such ungrateful
degenerates we all are!

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

Not according to Nietzsche

[andyfox]

No, but he is Evil.

[Eihli]

Ever seen the episode of futurama where bender becomes a god, and then he meets god? That will explain it all to you.

[Ray Zee]

he must be as he would never let the hubble telescope exist to prove he doesnt.

[John Cole]

No, Zeno, God isn't lazy--he's on vacation. I believe, based on my sources, he has a ranch in Texas.

BTW, a joke from the movie Girlfriends.

What's a wrench?

A place where Jewish cowboys live.

[HDPM]

It depends.

[krazyace5]

What do you mean? Do you think he lives on Jupiter or something?

[Gabe]

Man's just self-absorbed.

[BadBoyBenny]

Don't confuse restraint with laziness

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
Man's just self-absorbed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Perhaps one of the reasons a God or Deities were invented in the first place?

[Zeno]

So God needs a rest from all his work from time to time. This has Biblical precedent as God rested on the seventh day after creating the Universe and populating it with assorted galaxies, with there stars, planets, and gas clouds; not to mentioned a man and a woman.

God also walks in the Garden during the cool of the day and that certainly has a vacation feel to it. It all starts to add up and you must be given credit for some sound reasoning.

So God is over on his ranch where He can do a little horseback riding with some Jewish Cowboys. This sounds somewhat provincial but one has to allow God the solid fact that He knows what the correct thing to do is, at all times and in all places. Which He is in, at all times and all places, in or out of time, if you follow me on this – but that is best left to the theologians and their bag of metaphysical hooey. They know everything about God. Or so I have been told. Sometimes I have doubts – but they pass.

So God is not really lazy – he just gets tired of all His duties of tending to the Universe and the sins and other stupidities of Mankind and takes a break. This has a charming appeal to it although if it is true, it may throw a monkey wrench into the metaphysical machinery of the theological elite. But this would be nothing that they could not sidestep with some logic chopping; appeal to revelation or by fiat.

So I’ll put you down for: God is not really lazy – he just needs a break from time to time.

Thanks for the input.

-Zeno

[Zeno]

I find that I agree with you. I have a theory that God is actually very lazy. I don't know if I can prove it but this Hubble Telescope thing is a good hypothesis that needs looking into. The Hubble telescope may fall from the sky soon, which means we may be getting close to taking a picture of God and He does not want this to happen.

If we caught Him lounging around in his pajamas smoking a cigar and watching reruns of Touched By an Angel it would be bad for His image and forever shock all his followers, not to mentioned giving much ammunition to detractors. So this Hubble Telescope idea may be the smoking gun I have been looking for.

Thanks for the input.

-Zeno

[Zeno]

I already met God. Long ago, (well, 1983 to be precise) I was taking a moonlight stroll all the shore of Lake Tahoe and saw God walking in front of me. I snuck up behind Him and beaned Him on the back of the head with a rock. He hasn't been Himself since.

-Zeno

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't confuse restraint with laziness

[/ QUOTE ]

I will try to keep this in mind when formulaing my theory that God is lazy.

So what exactly is God restraining Himself from?

-Zeno

[Zeno]

I like the 'too much work' part. It may help explain His need for rest from time to time.

-Zeno

[Zeno]

God got His revenge on Nietzche.

He made him insane, remember. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

-Zeno

[Zeno]

'It depends'

Are we talking God or Poker. Or, 'The Poker Gods'. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

-Zeno

[Zeno]

Could the laziness of God allow evil to flourish? Or is it the laziness of man?

I still think God is lazy. His being evil may have something to do with his laziness. I'm not sure. I'm looking into it. I'll get back to you with my theories once they have been formulated.

-Zeno

[HDPM]

"If we caught Him lounging around in his pajamas smoking a cigar and watching reruns of Touched By an Angel"


I did not watch reruns of touched by an angel today. I watched sports and got in a bolivar and an h upmann. So am I God or just a lazy slug american jackass?

[Ragnar]

Apparently God is not lazy at all. He is spending a lot of time talking to basketball players. Who knew? The Poughkeepsie based Our Lady of Lourdes girl's basketball team won the state Class B basketball title last night. One of their players has been often injured, but has come back and played well. Her coach said of Jaclyn Viani, "A lot of people say they can hear God and God talks to them. I believe with all of my heart that Jaclyn can speak to God." So apparently he isn't as lazy as you think.

No word about whether God talks to her sister Juliane who scored 33 points in the championship game.

Ragnar

[Zeno]

Lawyers are Gods of sorts. You pay them your life savings and hope they perform a miracle. Not quite the same as an animal sacrifice but the principle is close. Of course, a miracle is not always forthcoming, so I guess a semi-deity is more appropriate.

-Zeno

PS Which is better, the upmann or the bolivar?

[Zeno]

Ragnar,

Why are you shooting holes in my theory with obnoxious facts? This is somewhat distressing. I'm trying to become a top-notch theologian and you are putting roadblocks in my way.

All these people talking to God and God talking back are irksome facts. Perhaps God does not really talk back but has an iterative computer program that talks back via all the Angels. All those Angels have to have something to do right? That is a good plug for starters. I will heave that into the breach until I can conjure up something a little more metaphysically sound.

Hope your move went smoothly and that you find the new surroundings to your satisfaction.

Best regards,

Zeno

[HDPM]

Upmann. Got an assortment of cigars the other day. Included were a couple of upmanns and the bolivar. I had an Upmann special reserve on a long drive the other day. And the upman today. Both were very good. Good construction, well balanced flavor. Good draws and burn. The bolivar was a disappointment. I typically smoke fuentes, romeo y julietas, and a few others. But I have been aggressively trying to smoke more cigars to make the health police mad. So I have been branching out. Picked up a few saint luis reys. I used to like them a lot and then the brand collapsed or something I think. They are back and I had a good one yesterday - a corona - a size I don't normally smoke. I have a few of the churchills I will burn this week and see if they are still good. I picked up a box of mistake fuente hemingways for $15. Good smoke for less than a buck. I may get some more upmanns though. Damn good smoke.

[Allan]

Try some Butera madura if you can find em. If you don't like maduro the regular wrapper is really good too.....Looks like you might like either.

Allan

[BadBoyBenny]

Possibly inhibiting freedom that He gave to us by working miracles or otherwise making his presence felt.

[John Cole]

Zeno,

You need, of course, to keep in mind that "God" is certainly beyond language. God does not have, like mankind, a dual nature. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was made flesh." You may want to read this as duality, but don't be tempted to do so. "I am what am." Or as Popeye said, "I yam what I yam." Since God comes before language, and cannot be split through the use of language, God can't be lazy. Indeed, we simply cannot ask questions about God's motives because those motives will be described in human terms, that is, human language.

Hope this helps.

[HDPM]

Yeah, I like some maduro cigars. Just depends. Sometimes a massive presidente size punch maduro or fuente canone is great. I used to smoke some padrons. Those can be pretty good. I smoked a la vieja habana the other day. That was similar to some padrons I have had if I recall the padrons correctly. LVH's can be had for $20 a box from JR. That might be my golf course cigar this summer.

Update on the Saint Luis Rey: the churchill sucked today. OK flavor for a while, but the burn was a little uneven, the draw wasn't quite right, and then the taste went downhill. It was a mix of pepper and chemical. Not great. I will see if the others are like that. The corona the other day was way, way better. I recently read an article extolling coronas and similar sizes. I usually smoke bigger. But this churchill had all the drawbacks the article warned about. Flavor wasn't there, harder to keep burning right, etc... I think they used to make the SLR churchill just a little smaller, but my memory may be off. They were on the small side of churchills IIRC. I might give more coronas a shot, even though I tend to go robusto/toro/churchill/presidente. I don't typically smoke pyramids or other figurados tho. (Although the mistake batch of hemingway short stories I am working on is a bizarre little shape) I am sure zeno would approve of presidentes and big pyramids on the asinine factor, as do I. Nothing says FO to the world like a massive cigar being smoked by a misanthrope. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
You need, of course, to keep in mind that "God" is certainly beyond language.

[/ QUOTE ]

Among other things, and quoting from the first chapter of the Gospel of John does not earn you a halo or a pair of wings. It's all Greek anyway and will only get you into heaven by the side door.

But kidding aside wasn't that partly my original point all along?

Thanks for the reply - it is an insightful and helpful point. We could probably have some interesting theological discussions. But then, if God is beyond language there is little to discuss and even less to concern myself with.

But I am folding up my Gospel Tent for the moment and opening up a backroom poker game - more suckers and a Better Racket. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Zeno, Agonistic Atheist.

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
Nothing says FO to the world like a massive cigar being smoked by a misanthrope.

[/ QUOTE ]

BULL'S-EYE!!

/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /images/graemlins/smirk.gif /images/graemlins/smirk.gif