Why I should become a Republican

[jokerswild]

1. I could snort cocaine and be drunk everyday until my 40th birthday nd still become President.
2. I could pay no taxes.
3. The middle class could pay to send my children to private schools.
4. I could steal elections and say it was patriotic.
5. I could arrange kickback oil deals in countries that I invaded for my friends.
6. I could claim that Jesus loves only people like me, and condemns everyone else to hell.
7. I could spend, spend spend, and blame the Democrats for the deficit.
8. I could suggest that job training programs should focus on burger flipping and shoe shining.
9. I could claim that any non-heterosexual person is an abomination and should go to hell (except my pal's daughter)
10. My children could be convicted of drug crimes and be sentenced to rehab instead of jail.
13. I could blame everything on Bill Clinton.

[Boris]

[Taxman]

Ah, so that's what I've been missing out on.

[krazyace5]

1. I can have sex with fat interns in the oval office. And then deny everything because I am so dumb I don't know what sex is.

2. I can cut down on our military and have whats left of it train our enemies troops.

3. I can get away with smoking pot and say I just put it to my lips but never inhaled, by the way did you notice how red my nose is?!?

4. I could have my former business partners disappear so they can't say anything bad about me.

5. I can let CEOs get away with grossly over inflating their revenue/earnings to in turn grossly inflate the economy to in turn make me look like a freakin genius.

6. I can rent out rooms in the White House to the highest bidders.

7. I could ignore terrorists like Osama Bin Laden, so as not to tarnish my great presidency, and leave the problem for the next sucker that comes along.

8. I could arrange to sell my country out to the highest foriegn country bidders.

9. I could sign NAFTA and have everyones jobs shipped out of the US.

10. I could be my wifes little b*tch.

[jokerswild]

You have obviously read 13.

Bush is the President that funded bin Laden. Poppy that is. Bush II takes money from the Bin Ladens through his holdings in Carlyle. Bush II did nothing to stop 9-11 although he was warned well in advance. He has shown a tendency to treason before in the guard desertion. Surely, conspiracy kooks like you could back a better candidate than W. Your party had a true hero in McCain, but slander him all the time. It seems your party idolizes dodgers, and ridicules true vets. I think a reporter should ask Bush II if he still has sex with his wife, and if he does isn't it a sin as they can no longer concieve. Does he testify in church about his sins?

Two words that descirbe Clinton: Peace and Prosperity.
Bush II, war and deficits.

Ken Star: homophobe and pervert.

[Taxman]

[ QUOTE ]
I can have sex with fat interns in the oval office. And then deny everything because I am so dumb I don't know what sex is.

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously he isn't that dumb. Clinton was in fact one of the more intelligent presidents we've had recently. It's already been discussed how much intelligence does or doesn't affect leadership ability, but Clinton was certainly smarter than Bush or Gore. Granted, it was stupid to lie about the sex.

[ QUOTE ]
I can cut down on our military and have whats left of it train our enemies troops.

[/ QUOTE ]

We still had by far the greatest military power in the world. It's never been a Democrat monopoly on training foreign troops either, though I must admit republican administrations prefer to just give them chemical weapons instead.

[ QUOTE ]
I can get away with smoking pot and say I just put it to my lips but never inhaled, by the way did you notice how red my nose is?!?

[/ QUOTE ]

Oops, Bush did cocaine. Which is considered worse in the eyes of the law? Clinton's nose was red because he had a condition known as rosacea, which is sort of like adult acne, but not quite. A tell tale sympton is redness in the T-zone area.

[ QUOTE ]
I could have my former business partners disappear so they can't say anything bad about me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh that's right, Clinton was a murderer /images/graemlins/shocked.gif. This has so many things wrong with it that I won't even bother.

[ QUOTE ]
I can let CEOs get away with grossly over inflating their revenue/earnings to in turn grossly inflate the economy to in turn make me look like a freakin genius.


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, it was one grand consipracy theory between Clinton and hundreds of CEOs. Of course I gues this means that it wasn't Reagan or Bush Sr.'s policies that caused the boom.

[ QUOTE ]
I can rent out rooms in the White House to the highest bidders.


[/ QUOTE ]

?

[ QUOTE ]
I could ignore terrorists like Osama Bin Laden, so as not to tarnish my great presidency, and leave the problem for the next sucker that comes along.

[/ QUOTE ]

So you admit it was a great presidency? /images/graemlins/grin.gif The Clinton administration was active in searching for and developing a plan to catch Osama Bin Laden (whereas previous administrations had used him as an ally before he turned against us). There was a plan already in place to capture Bin Laden as the Clinton administration was ending and they decided to leave action to the incoming President because they did not want to be accused of initiating such an action just to gain support for Gore. Ironically Clinton was constantly accused of wasting too much time focusing on such wack-jobs as Bin Laden.

[ QUOTE ]
I could arrange to sell my country out to the highest foriegn country bidders.

[/ QUOTE ]

Huh? Like Republican big wigs do with Saudi Arabia?

[ QUOTE ]
I could sign NAFTA and have everyones jobs shipped out of the US.

[/ QUOTE ]

So that's why we haven't had any real job recovery. Blame Clinton! He single handedly ruined it for all of us!

[ QUOTE ]
I could be my wifes little b*tch.

[/ QUOTE ]

That one might be true /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Well you seem to have made up pretty much all of your little comments here. Care to try again?

[krazyace5]

Well I admit the nose thing was a stretch. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

By the way I dont vote strictly republican or democratic, I vote for who I think is the better guy for the job. In fact I liked John Edwards, not to sure I can say the same about John Kerry though.

Oh yeah, you know the last one is true. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Steven Punk]

Sarcasm aside you are talking about 2 men not 2 parties. Both parties have presidents or other elected officials they would like to forget. Democrats can say look at George Bush Jr and Republicans can say look at Jimmy Carter (Bill Clinton is much more favorable than Carter and well Bush Jr I think takes the cake for Republicans).

[pretender2k]

Or we could all just become capitalists. Start a flat tax that only worries about protesting the country and it citizens, get rid of most of the BS laws that allow lawyers to drain our economy, and go back to creating and producing like when we started this country.

Then we would have job creation and wouldn't have to worry about taxing anyone that is making money to pay for all the things we think everyone deserves. Don't get me wrong, I don't want people starving to death I am just tired of paying taxes that are higher than they were when we seperated from England.

[adios]

What you must realize is that many who advocate higher taxes actually don't pay very much themselves in taxes if anything. They're on the receiving end of the gravy train. Those who are on the receiving end of the gravy train aren't going to vote to end that gravy train. So putting more people on it increases the political power of the politicians that provide more gravy.

[Taxman]

[ QUOTE ]
What you must realize is that many who advocate higher taxes actually don't pay very much themselves in taxes if anything. They're on the receiving end of the gravy train. Those who are on the receiving end of the gravy train aren't going to vote to end that gravy train. So putting more people on it increases the political power of the politicians that provide more gravy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sean Hannity has a new book out you might enjoy.

[Taxman]

[ QUOTE ]
I am just tired of paying taxes that are higher than they were when we seperated from England.


[/ QUOTE ]

Better yet, let's reinstate the Articles of Confederation!

[andyfox]

"I am just tired of paying taxes that are higher than they were when we seperated from England."

Were you paying taxes then? Why stop at doing things the way they were 228 years ago, let's go back another 228 years to the year 1548. Those were the good old days.

Don't get me wrong, though, I don't want people starving to death.

[Your Mom]

saying the rich don't pay their fair share of taxes is a liberal myth that I can expose if you really want me to.

[Taxman]

Did I say that? Am I a liberal? It seems you are reading my mind and since I have no idea what I'm thinking, please tell me.

[PuppetMaster]

Jimmy was probally the last onest president we ever had.

[Taxman]

Not the greatest president. One of the best examples is his practice of alienating our allies that had poor human rights records while concurrently staying buddy buddy with the Russians (who of course had an attrocious human rights record). Obviously he cared about people, but he wasn't really equipped to handle the needs of office.

[Boris]

That is a joke of a criticism. The republicans are buddy buddy with putin in russia. he is form kgb and is methodically restoring a totalitarian state in russia. the neocons love the guy.

[hetron]

A liberal according to the Hannity/Limbaugh/Savage crowd and their supporters (of whom there are many) is:

1. any Democrat, regardless of their positions on any issues
2. Anyone who has ever voted for a democrat, or heaven forbid, Ralph Nader
2. anyone who doesn't support George Bush, regardless if their reasons for not doing so are valid or not
3. anyone who doesn't think that all government social programs are complete and utter wastes of time
4. anyone who "gives comfort to the enemy" by opposing government military actions
5. Anyone who disagrees with the notion that the 90's boom and balanced budgets were a result of 1980's reaganomics and had absolutely nothing to do with bill clinton.

If you have ever been guilty of an of the following, you are probably a liberal. Worse than that, you are probably French, or European, or something, and need to go back there because there is absolutely no place for panty-waisted pinko commie queers like you in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

[bigpooch]

Are you getting the neoconservative spin on any paperwork
at the office? /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Oh, right! The war on Iraq has already started!

[adios]

[ QUOTE ]
the neocons love the guy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Which ones?

[adios]

Hetron see if you find this amusing. I'll do my best interpretation of an unreasonable conservative:

1. any Democrat, regardless of their positions on any issues

Democrats only have liberal positions.

2. Anyone who has ever voted for a democrat, or heaven forbid, Ralph Nader

Why would you vote for a liberal if you weren't one?

2. anyone who doesn't support George Bush, regardless if their reasons for not doing so are valid or not

There is no valid reason for withholding support for George Bush.

3. anyone who doesn't think that all government social programs are complete and utter wastes of time

Hey throw trillions of dollars at a problem and it's inevitable that it benifits someone who it was directed at.

4. anyone who "gives comfort to the enemy" by opposing government military actions

Well does opposing government military action make the enemy uncomfortable?

5. Anyone who disagrees with the notion that the 90's boom and balanced budgets were a result of 1980's reaganomics and had absolutely nothing to do with bill clinton.

Fiscal economic policy like Reagonomics takes a long time to work its way through the system. Really the recession, stock market meltdown, and resulting corporate malfeasance were a result of Clinton policies.


Which ones am I being facetious about /images/graemlins/smile.gif?

[Taxman]

It was not a criticism of the man. I was merely pointing out that Carter did not have a knack for the finer points of diplomacy, just as Bush does not, although for different reasons. That is a factor independent of any other person's/party's relationship with the Russians. After all, I am apparantly a flaming liberal, so why would I attack one of my own?

[hetron]

I'm guessing you are being facetious about all of them except for No. 3. /images/graemlins/wink.gif