Joe Tall
03-02-2004, 12:05 PM
Many have asked so here it is...
July 2002, 80 degrees, high ceiling, calm, a beautiful night for baseball.
After two beers at the Atlas Bar on Lansdowne Street, I head into Fenway for some Red Sox Baseball with my good friend, Dan. I've held season tickets since the '99 All-Star game. Row 12 Section 36, yes, the bleachers. It's the only way to make them affordable and get eight guys to go to a dozen games a year.
We grab two beers each and hit the seats. Wakefield is on the mound tonight versus the Toronto Blue Jays. Before we know it it's six to nothing, Jays. /images/graemlins/frown.gif
We polish off the beers and get up to grab two more. Drowning sorrows is what Red Sox fans do best and it looks to be that kind of night. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif When we get back, the Blue Jays are still up to bat and no one is paying attention. The bleachers are crawling with activity as a number of beach balls have been released prematurely into the crowd.
I finish off a beer and as put the cup down, I say to Dan, "I hate this game, it's awful and I want a piece of it. If a beach ball comes near me I'm putting it on the field, I'm hitting Johnny Damon with it, I want my money's worth".
As soon as I finished saying it, a beach ball lands in my lap. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I stand up, holding the beach ball over my head like Tom Brady holding the Lombardi trophy. I turn to the crowd as they look up and down at me. I point to the field. They start to cheer.
I wet my finger and check the wind. They cheer louder, egging me on.
Serve the beach ball up...
Strike it with all my might...BAM!
It goes four rows straight down and hits little girl right in the face. /images/graemlins/shocked.gif
"Oh $hit", I say and sit down. I quickly apologize to the parents and the girl; the parents are fine with it. The girl is about seven years old and yes, she is crying, but the parents tell me not to worry about it, she'll be fine.
I lean back in my seat as few drunks are yelling at me, some are throwing peanuts, as soon as their rant seems to be catching on, Nomar Garciaparra hits a home run! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif The score is six to three and everyone has suddenly forgotten about the beach ball and the girl. It's back to baseball.
The Sox get the bases loaded and there is a pitching change for Toronto as the game has changed into a good one. During the lull of the pitching change I see the little girl's father stand up and turn to the crowd. He's holding up a pair of glasses that are obviously bent.
The little girl was wearing glasses, I knocked them off and now they are bent! /images/graemlins/blush.gif
The drunks behind me take a notice and start to yell. The crowd is throwing beer cups and peanuts, wrappers and ketchup packets. I consider leaving as drunk Fenway fans are not accurate and I feel bad for the others sitting around me as I deserve this public flogging.
Just as it starts to escalate, I hear *CRACK*, home run Jason Varitek! The sox are in the lead! I'm saved again! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I ask the parents if the glasses are ok, and they are. The girl's father was setting me up and did great job of it.
Innings and beers disappear, the sox are up a few runs, everything is good again.
Around the 7th inning, Dan starts bump me with his elbow repeatedly. I look over and he is pointing subtly down at the little girl. I look and see the parents and the girl getting up to leave. As the girl gets up her mother reaches down under the seat and pulls out...
A pair of crutches! /images/graemlins/ooo.gif The little girl has a broken leg and is hobbling down the Fenway steps! I put my head down, praying for nobody to notice as someone stands up and yells, "Hey Look! The Girl is on crutches and has a broken leg!"
Everything and anything that wasn't bolted to the floor suddenly was airborne and coming my way. I was drenched in beer and peanut shells, cracker jacks and popcorn. I got hit with a quarter and some lady's lipstick!
I got up and left to the jeers of the crowd holding my hands over my head in submission, every word well deserved.
I have not touched a beach ball since. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Peace,
Joe Tall
July 2002, 80 degrees, high ceiling, calm, a beautiful night for baseball.
After two beers at the Atlas Bar on Lansdowne Street, I head into Fenway for some Red Sox Baseball with my good friend, Dan. I've held season tickets since the '99 All-Star game. Row 12 Section 36, yes, the bleachers. It's the only way to make them affordable and get eight guys to go to a dozen games a year.
We grab two beers each and hit the seats. Wakefield is on the mound tonight versus the Toronto Blue Jays. Before we know it it's six to nothing, Jays. /images/graemlins/frown.gif
We polish off the beers and get up to grab two more. Drowning sorrows is what Red Sox fans do best and it looks to be that kind of night. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif When we get back, the Blue Jays are still up to bat and no one is paying attention. The bleachers are crawling with activity as a number of beach balls have been released prematurely into the crowd.
I finish off a beer and as put the cup down, I say to Dan, "I hate this game, it's awful and I want a piece of it. If a beach ball comes near me I'm putting it on the field, I'm hitting Johnny Damon with it, I want my money's worth".
As soon as I finished saying it, a beach ball lands in my lap. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I stand up, holding the beach ball over my head like Tom Brady holding the Lombardi trophy. I turn to the crowd as they look up and down at me. I point to the field. They start to cheer.
I wet my finger and check the wind. They cheer louder, egging me on.
Serve the beach ball up...
Strike it with all my might...BAM!
It goes four rows straight down and hits little girl right in the face. /images/graemlins/shocked.gif
"Oh $hit", I say and sit down. I quickly apologize to the parents and the girl; the parents are fine with it. The girl is about seven years old and yes, she is crying, but the parents tell me not to worry about it, she'll be fine.
I lean back in my seat as few drunks are yelling at me, some are throwing peanuts, as soon as their rant seems to be catching on, Nomar Garciaparra hits a home run! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif The score is six to three and everyone has suddenly forgotten about the beach ball and the girl. It's back to baseball.
The Sox get the bases loaded and there is a pitching change for Toronto as the game has changed into a good one. During the lull of the pitching change I see the little girl's father stand up and turn to the crowd. He's holding up a pair of glasses that are obviously bent.
The little girl was wearing glasses, I knocked them off and now they are bent! /images/graemlins/blush.gif
The drunks behind me take a notice and start to yell. The crowd is throwing beer cups and peanuts, wrappers and ketchup packets. I consider leaving as drunk Fenway fans are not accurate and I feel bad for the others sitting around me as I deserve this public flogging.
Just as it starts to escalate, I hear *CRACK*, home run Jason Varitek! The sox are in the lead! I'm saved again! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I ask the parents if the glasses are ok, and they are. The girl's father was setting me up and did great job of it.
Innings and beers disappear, the sox are up a few runs, everything is good again.
Around the 7th inning, Dan starts bump me with his elbow repeatedly. I look over and he is pointing subtly down at the little girl. I look and see the parents and the girl getting up to leave. As the girl gets up her mother reaches down under the seat and pulls out...
A pair of crutches! /images/graemlins/ooo.gif The little girl has a broken leg and is hobbling down the Fenway steps! I put my head down, praying for nobody to notice as someone stands up and yells, "Hey Look! The Girl is on crutches and has a broken leg!"
Everything and anything that wasn't bolted to the floor suddenly was airborne and coming my way. I was drenched in beer and peanut shells, cracker jacks and popcorn. I got hit with a quarter and some lady's lipstick!
I got up and left to the jeers of the crowd holding my hands over my head in submission, every word well deserved.
I have not touched a beach ball since. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Peace,
Joe Tall