gay marriage

[stripsqueez]

i've been closely following the debate that has commenced about gay marriage - its about "procreation" the no gay marriage politicians tell me

thanks for that arnie and george - i've been giving it some thought - if only belinda agreed

i feel that much sexier - more primitive - i prowl about my house looking for my mate - i spot belinda by the toaster trying to fish out a muffin that has become stuck - she is dressed in hot looking flannel pyjamas

i grunt and beat my chest - "come on baby you havent got time to eat - marriage is about procreation - its about survival of the species"

arnie and george reckon you cant allow gay marriage and its about survival - the sanctity of family ! - suddenly i see myself in a new light - i am the last of my species and the job of procreation is mine - i must find another of my kind and breed as soon as possible

i suggest this to belinda - "there is no point to marriage unless we are breeding" i tell her - "i've already multiplied" she responds "and now i want breakfast"

many species have become extinct but until now i have never spotted the connection with gay marriage - the dodo - the tahitian sandpiper - the tasm,anian tiger - presumably all of them at some point relented and allowed gay marriage - next thing - the big E - extinction - the whole species gone - the mauritian flying fox - the tongan giant skink - the spectacled cormorant - all victims of gay marriage it would seem

take the mystery of the dinosaurs - for millions of years they ruled the earth and then suddenly the big E - arnie and george may be the first to solve the mystery - dinosaurs allowed gay marriage - a few years later and the whole institution of dinosaur marriage was sapped of meaning - the straight dinosaurs began standing around in flannel pyjamas toasting muffins and forgetting to procreate

worse still the straight dinosaurs could no longer get anyone to cater their wedding parties because all the gay dinosaurs were too busy doing thier own receptions - ten years later and its the end of the species

it takes a smart leader to recognise this issue - to see that far ahead - you americans are indeed a lucky people

i am seeing belinda in a new light - she is not so much a woman as she is a bearer of evolutionary history - i tell her this - "there is no need to talk like that just because i wont put out" she says with a mouth full of muffin

stripsqueez - chickenhawk

adapted from SMH letters