Coping with Life Change/Emotions

[JPolin]

In the run-up to graduate school, I have been playing poker to pay the bills. Mostly 10-20 but some 5-10 as well. And I've been running really well and I can constantly feel myself learning, both from hours at the table and from studying 2+2.

But disaster has struck on the personal front. After 5 years together, my fiancee and I decided to break up. I've read somewhere that when you experience a life change or emotional trauma that it is best to give yourself two weeks before you play poker again. Unfortunately, I did not follow that advice last night (being bored and depressed) and droppped a rack in a very soft 10-20 game. Much of that was due to me playing poorly.

So my question is, how should I approach poker in the aftermath of this troubling situation? My best friend has been playing 10-20 and I was planning on visiting him for a while. Is this a good idea? If I go there I will end up trekking to Foxwoods.

I appreciate your input.

Thanks,
Justin

[The Dude]

I am sure I wouldn't put myself at my normal stakes table. You already know you are going to have trouble there. Maybe try a smaller stake than you are used to, just to guage your thinking patterns right now.

Hopefully you have a large enough bankroll to allow you to take a couple weeks off. Take up a hobby, learn something new. Do something else that will take your mind off your fiance. Then, in a couple of weeks, you won't be so distracted and you will be yearning to get back into poker (and therefore be more likely to concentrate while at the table).

This is how I think I would handle it, although I cannot say for sure. Just my two cents. Hope it helps.

[HDPM]

Well, take some comfort in the fact you limited your loss to a rack. Now just don't play for a while. If you go to foxwoods w/ a friend and must play, just take 200 and play cheap. There is no rule that says you have to play 10-20 once you have played 10-20 before. Drink a beer play 2-4, whatever.

It will take you a while before you are fully back to normal after this. Don't take it out on your bankroll.

[Lawrence Ng]

Poker should be fun for you, and if you feel that you are not having fun (winning or losing wise) then its time for you to take a break.

Having said this, I've been in your shoes and know how you feel because 3 years ago my girlfriend and I of 8 years broke off our relationship. I took 6 months away from poker after blowing off 2 racks in 1 night at a 10-20 game. The word "tilt" that night would highly be underrated to describe my poor play.

I do not know what circumstances led to your break up, but what helped me a lot was being with my friends and always trying to keep myself occupied. I wound up working a lot of extra hours, spent whatever leisure hours playing video game after video game, and did some travelling. Eventually, time will heal your pain and you will be in the right state of mind to focus on poker again.

Good luck.

[bernie]

i had an absolutely horrendous last 1/4 of the year last year and stopped playing for a bit. you have to be honest with yourself before you play to really know if you're in the right frame of mind to play.

if you do play, play a lesser limit to test and see how your capacity is at the time. then you'll also find out how this affects your game. it may not affect it at all. to which then next time, you may be more inclined to play your normal limit. sounds cautious, but what the hell. i think it's sensible.

however, some have no problem with playing minutes after something like this happens. they can seperate the emotions of the game from their current non-game emotional situation. experience really helps here.

b

[bigpooch]

Take some time out! If the money is really important, why
play when you aren't or don't think you are close to 100%?
As a friend of mine once said, some people have to take a
break: it might be 5 minutes, 5 days or....

[pretender2k]

There are some nights that I want to play just to get away. I know I will play poorly because of my emotional state but being at the table and splashing some chips is just so comforting. I usually play .5/1 but on those nights I'll go play some .01/.02 pl omaha realizing I will probably loose a couple bucks. Just my way of playing without risking too much.