Uninvited from a home poker game :(

[Brian]

Hi guys,

I was recently contacted through homepokergames.com by a guy in Memphis holding weekly tournaments. I showed up with my girlfrend for one of their tournaments and I thought that I was very friendly/sociable etc. Since it was a NL tournament (and not a ring game), I didn't really have a chance to "lose some chips back to them". Heck, I didn't even win the thing, I came in 3rd. The guy holding the game told me they were always looking for more people and to also bring some friends, so I invited a fellow 2+2'er/friend of mine and his girlfriend. We wound up being at a different table from them, and the 2+2'er friend wound up winning the thing.

I believe my friend and his girlfriend went back one or two times and the girlfriend never finished in the money, but the 2+2'er usually did well. Anyways, I just received an e-mail from the guy saying that several of the guys' friends were uncomfortable playing with us, etc. So we aren't invited back.

Anyways, my question is have any of you guys had this sort of stuff happen? When they asked what I did for a living (I am 19), I told them that I lived with my parents and was a bum (not that I played poker online for a living). I didn't wear sunglasses to the tournament or in any way act like I really knew what I was doing. If you guys have any stories to share, I'd love to hear them, and also any suggestions on what to do in the future to prevent this from happening, because I really enjoy playing IRL and can't yet because I am not 21. Thanks,

-Brian

[yocalif]

Brian,
You wouldn't be allowed to play in our home game, you are not 21. We have established 21 as the minimum age.

Next, both you and your friend brought your girl friends. Most of the home games I have participated in, gals are ok, but usually the host and the regulars don't want a dating game, they want a poker game. This may sound harsh, but often a home game is a night out with the boys. Our game isn't, we advertise a home game run similiar to a card room experience. Poker players are what we want, gender, age (21 min.), don't matter, if you can afford the buy-in you can play. Women do play in our game, but they are tough players, and hold their own.

[Brian]

Hi yocalif,

Thanks for letting me know that I wouldn't be allowed to play in your home poker games. And, we were told to bring anyone that we wanted, including our girlfriends.

-Brian

[georgejetson]

Just a couple (or three) thoughts:

One thing you might consider doing, since it can't hurt at this point, is email the guy back. Take the high road: tell him you enjoyed playing as long as you did and thank him for the opportunity; it's good form and if *he* liked/didn't mind having y'all around, you never know when he might start a new game with a different crowd and invite you back, or pass your name along to someone who has a game into which you might fit better. You get the idea.

Second, ask him why you were uninvited; you didn't mention why his friends were uncomfortable. You might say that if there was something you did to turn everyone off you'd like not to make that mistake in the future. If it turns out to be your age or something else concrete, there's nothing you can do right now, but at least you'll know. On the other hand, if you guys came in and started beating up the game and that's what made his buddies uncomfortable, well, that's a different story.

Home games are all different. This one sounds more serious than most, but still, the regulars in any home game probably won't ever like it if a newcomer shows up and starts regularly beating their game. I've been to home games where it became pretty apparent pretty quickly that I was playing too seriously for everyone else's taste. Go slow until you get a good feel for the game.

There's some art to taking a home game's temperature and then deciding how to proceed. If you discover a new, potentially juicy game, it's okay to keep your play on the friendly side long enough establish yourself as 'one of them' before changing gears and going after the money. Because... then you're a 'regular' first and a good player second. Much less chance of getting uninvited that way.

That's about it. It sounds like you were up front with the guy (always good) and I'm guessing you probably asked lots of questions before you ever showed up, but if not, do so in the future. One critical question to ask is what everyone typically buys in for, and whether people usually stick to that or go to their wallets throughout the game. How much money is going around is a pretty good indicator of how seriously people are already taking the game.

Keep looking and you'll find a good game. If not, heck, start your own. Sounds like there are four of you already. Anyway, I'll see you in Tunica when you turn 21.

George

[yocalif]

I wasn't trying be a smart asss.. with my reply, I was stating how age and the possible outlook on "the boy's night out" the host's may have.
I can see you accept input really well, that is why you posted here in the forum.

hmmm and you have been asked not to return to their game, go figure.
[ QUOTE ]
Hi yocalif,

Thanks for letting me know that I wouldn't be allowed to play in your home poker games. And, we were told to bring anyone that we wanted, including our girlfriends.

-Brian

[/ QUOTE ]

[limon]

I've hosted many home poker games (2 at this time) and attended many. In fact i try to play in home poker games exclusively. I have never been 86'd here are some tips:

1. you gotta give action to get action. my fav. action play is the live straddle, generally once an hour will get you invited back for life.

2. if people in the game drink...you drink! OR bring the host a bottle of his liquor of choice.

3. if people in the game smoke..you smoke OR bring the host a cigar each time you come.

4. dont EVER be a coach or table captain.

5. be willing to bet on anything.

in your case since you got 86'd call the dude and ask why. your perception of yourself my be wayyy different than how other people see you.

[MRBAA]

What about playing with Armenians?

[Brian]

Hi limon,

Thanks for the tips. At georgejetson's suggestion, I decided to mail him back to see what exactly had made his friends uncomfortable. He said that they really didn't know much about me since I had only attended once, but that I had gotten lumped in with a few people who showed up the same night as me (including the 2+2 friend that came with me and who later attended more) whom they suspected might be colluding. He also added a few other reasons such as their wanting to scale the game down and also losing one of their tables. Oh well.

As for the liquor suggestion, I guess I can't really follow through on that until I am 21.

-Brian

[morgant]

so you never drank alcohol cause you are not 21???? what happened to rebellious teens?

[Brian]

Hi morgant,

Oh, I drink alcohol when I can. But going out and buying it and bringing it to someone elses house is a whole other problem.

-Brian

[slamdunkpro]

I've read through this post and responses a couple of times and have come to the conclusion that the Home Game hosts want to keep the money in the "Family". You and your friends were winning - ergo - you had to go!

[Jezebel]

Yep, thats what it sounds like. Also, if they are the type to start suspecting collusion as soon as they start losing, then you are better off not playing in the game. Things can turn real ugly when you combine a group of paranoid guys losing money, and a stranger who all of a sudden started winning everyone's money when he showed up.

[morgant]

come on, you need a little creativity. fake id's, no dice, then doctor up your current id., or there is always the trusty hey mister(reply if you need directions on this one), the #1 foolproof way is have an older sibling/friend/sometimes peoples parents purchase for you....

[tripdad]

young people are too pretty. if you want to buy beer, put on some clothing that doesn't match, mess up your hair a bit, and just go in to a store and try it. you have to look like you've been there before, though.

good luck!