How can I cheat my home game??

[Redhot_man]

Hello,
I am having some family and friends coming over on Sunday morning for some Pre-SuperBowl Poker. Our games can get pretty intense, and we often end up playing 2/4 NL Poker, with NO Max. Buy-in.

I have done a couple searches on google but I haven't come up with anything really solid. I already was aware of most of the information I found, such as deck shaving and coloring, all amateur stuff. One site even recommended that I put a mirror or shiny object in a smart place - LOL...

An interesting website had an article about cutting off a tiny piece of the card, and then when shuffling you can feel and hear these cards, and then with a series of shuffling, you can locate these cards and make sure they are dealt were they belong. Then there was the option of having my girl frend walk aroundin skimpy clothes and give me hand signals - from the movie Original Sin (great movie, Jolie=HOT!!)

So anyways, I would appreciate any advice that will help me cheat my opponents and win money that I otherwise do not deserve.







(i am sure you understand what this post is really about)

[Lori]

So anyways, I would appreciate any advice that will help me cheat my opponents and win money that I otherwise do not deserve.

You could sell them your pirate DVD's

Lori

[Redhot_man]

[ QUOTE ]
So anyways, I would appreciate any advice that will help me cheat my opponents and win money that I otherwise do not deserve.

You could sell them your pirate DVD's

Lori

[/ QUOTE ]
I cheated binions, not my friends who recieved the dvds.

[Simon Diamond]

Never miss a trick do you? /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Simon

[CountDuckula]

It's a little more complicated at home than it is online, especially if everyone takes turns dealing. You have to generate a pattern map for each person's deals, and you have to do it all in your head (if you try to take notes and do your calculations on a calculator or on paper, they tend to take notice). It can be done, but people start screaming at you for taking too much time on each hand.

It's simpler if you have a single dealer, like in a casino; then you only need one pattern map. I recommend the log8 map everyone's been talking about lately, it's much superior to the older formulae.

-Mike

[Redhot_man]

[ QUOTE ]
It's a little more complicated at home than it is online, especially if everyone takes turns dealing. You have to generate a pattern map for each person's deals, and you have to do it all in your head (if you try to take notes and do your calculations on a calculator or on paper, they tend to take notice). It can be done, but people start screaming at you for taking too much time on each hand.

It's simpler if you have a single dealer, like in a casino; then you only need one pattern map. I recommend the log8 map everyone's been talking about lately, it's much superior to the older formulae.

-Mike



[/ QUOTE ]
Count,
Where do you live? Maybe you can be or offical dealer, wink wink... /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[CrackerZack]

I think I hear RGP calling you.

[Redhot_man]

[ QUOTE ]
I think I hear RGP calling you.

[/ QUOTE ]
lol

[CountDuckula]

[ QUOTE ]
Count,
Where do you live? Maybe you can be or offical dealer, wink wink... /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL! Boston area, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be very good at it, anyway. My shuffling technique is so bad that you don't even need a pattern map!

-Mike

[Terry]

[ QUOTE ]
(i am sure you understand what this post is really about)

[/ QUOTE ]

Your true colors?

[Frozen]

I no johhny do-gooder. I'm posted tax evasion tips on here,
and in the war on drugs, I happily fight for the side of my friends the drugs.

Yet...what you're thinking of doing is sick. It's stealing, and from your own family and friends yet. That's just wrong, dude.

[lunchmeat]

There are a number of effective ways to cheat, and it doesn't really matter which one you choose as they all work. The hard part isn't the cheating, but rather getting away with it.

The most important thing is not to look like a cheat. You have to make it look like you have more important priorities than cheating your family. That is why every good cheat will clamp clothespins to his testicles before entering the game. This will take some getting used to, so I recommend you practice daily until your testicles build up enough scar tissue to withstand the pain. You'll know you've practiced enough when the scar tissue becomes visible. If you don't have any clothespins handy, a mousetrap will make for a suitable replacement. This process may have reproductive ramifications, but it is absolutely necessary if you wish to have any success.

Good luck.

[Frozen]

Yes, the clothespin on testicles trick is highly effective. I recommend that all cheaters should try this.

[Stew]

[ QUOTE ]
Hello,
I am having some family and friends coming over on Sunday morning for some Pre-SuperBowl Poker. Our games can get pretty intense, and we often end up playing 2/4 NL Poker, with NO Max. Buy-in.

I have done a couple searches on google but I haven't come up with anything really solid. I already was aware of most of the information I found, such as deck shaving and coloring, all amateur stuff. One site even recommended that I put a mirror or shiny object in a smart place - LOL...

An interesting website had an article about cutting off a tiny piece of the card, and then when shuffling you can feel and hear these cards, and then with a series of shuffling, you can locate these cards and make sure they are dealt were they belong. Then there was the option of having my girl frend walk aroundin skimpy clothes and give me hand signals - from the movie Original Sin (great movie, Jolie=HOT!!)

So anyways, I would appreciate any advice that will help me cheat my opponents and win money that I otherwise do not deserve.







(i am sure you understand what this post is really about)


[/ QUOTE ]

Why don't you learn how to become a better player and you wouldn't have to rely cheating, especially your family dude, come on.