Question for a Lawyer

[Zeno]

Just the other day I discovered a chip of wood (looks like balsa wood) in a can of Jackson's Tea (Ceylon Superb) produce by some limey conglomerate. This was most distressing and has caused me to doubt the quality and purity of the tea that I have previously consumed and also cast an irreparable shadow on all my tea consummation for the foreseeable future. My usual relaxing tea ritual has turned into a nightmare of torment and a quagmire of agony, especially to a sensitive soul as I.

I have been hoodwinked and bamboozled also!

The questions are not only, WHO MAY I SUE, but are there multitude companies or other concerns that I can pursue with legal mania and hypochondria? There must be.

Please advise.

Thank You,

A most distressed Zeno.

[HDPM]

The biggest problem I see is that you have also admitted to consuming Old Crow. Your credibility on the emotional distress caused by impure beverages is low because of this.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

You don't need a lawyer. Write them a letter complaining about it and cc a fairly large newspaper. They'll probably send you a few cases of tea to calm you down.

[Ragnar]

[ QUOTE ]
... and also cast an irreparable shadow on all of my tea consummation for the foreseeable future.

[/ QUOTE ]

Zeno,

What have you been consummating with your tea? /images/graemlins/smile.gif That sounds a little obscene. Maybe you meant "consumption." You've sent me into fantasyland regarding sex and tea.

As a retired lawyer I can tell you that the way to go for a lawsuit was to swallow the wood chip and get sick. Then go to a chiropractor and a naturopathic doctor to build your case. Then go to a shrink. Then sue the manufacturer, all of the tea growers in the world, the government of Ceylon (or whatever it is called today) the grocer who sold you the tea, and the bag boy at the supermarket. You should also sue the government of Great Britain, because the Brits are tea drinkers and the descendents of the "Indians" in the Boston Tea Party because if it weren't for them Americans would drink tea and you could have sued the U.S. government. If you lose sue the chiropractor, the shrink (unless he is a poster on2 + 2) the naturopath and the lawyer unless HDPM or HDPW take your case) for malpractice.

In the end remain stoic about it

Ragnar

[Zeno]

My bad spelling and dyslextic mind come through to add a new twist and extra luster to my post that I did not even intend! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Consumption was the intendent target but I missed. /images/graemlins/blush.gif


Thanks for the advise. I shall take it under consideration. The last pithy sentence is probably the wise course, pity I did not see it sooner.

Great post. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

-Zeno

[Ray Zee]

poetry, tea, holding hands with cole. now you want to sue everyone. what has happened to you man.

[MMMMMM]

When I was a kid, I bit into a candy bar and encountered something hard and unchewable. It turned out to be a small, pitted bone (which looked like it might have been something like a rat femur). I wrote to the company and they sent me about a dozen candy bars. Within six months, six other companies had sent me candy bars too, but there was one company that was too stubborn to do so.

[Chris Alger]

You can't sue anyone unless you're willing to risk the sanction of paying the cost of a defending a frivolous claim, which will be substantial. You certainly can't recover anything, especially after your post.

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
what has happened to you man.

[/ QUOTE ]


A blue-ribbon committee is being commissioned to study this very question. The committee will consist of top-rate minds from the swamps of academia and backwater beltway think tanks. This study is anticipated to take two years and cost $200 Million. Once the report is issued, with results and recommendations, additional monies will be required to implement the recommendations. It is tentatively anticipated that implementation will cost close to $2 Billion and will be transferred directly into Zeno’s secret bank accounts in Zurich.

I appreciate your concern Ray – I hope it pays off.

-Zeno

PS - This is a public service post to illustrate the benefits of your tax dollars at work.

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
Consumption was the intendent target but I missed.


[/ QUOTE ]

Intended /images/graemlins/blush.gif /images/graemlins/blush.gif

There is nothing like compounding a mistake.

Like HDPM, I need a proofreader. Perhaps John Cole is open for the job. He doesn’t do anything anyway but watch movies and read Emerson. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

-Zeno

[John Cole]

Somewhere, somehow, someone has tape of said Zeno running up and down hills blasting away at a basketball with a shotgun. Stay out of court.

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
Stay out of court.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sound advice that I will heed. Thanks.

[ QUOTE ]
Somewhere, somehow, someone has tape of.....

[/ QUOTE ]

John Ashcroft and his cronies are everywhere! Damn! Caught again.

But whose name was scribbled on that basketball - I wonder. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

-Zeno