HDPM
01-01-2004, 05:10 AM
12/30/03 Dateline Desert: Leaving a state penitentiary and talking on a cell phone in the middle of sagebrush desert trying to close a real estate deal and get timing down to meet yer wife at a truck stop who was only 7 min 42 seconds apart on the same interstate after doing legal work in a nearby city where she didn't have to sit on concrete and cinderblock next to a stainless steel toilet, pass through video monitored fences, clanging sally ports, razor wire and/or happy fun morale posters advertising the $11 US per day savings to taxpayers by farming out incarceration services to publically held corporations.
12/30/03 Dateline BFE: approx 2.7 hours after leaving McPenitentiary eating thai food at a good restaurant in the middle of nowhere where certain misanthropes have in fact eaten and ordering the worst beer in the history of man except for the $7/case heidelberg from freshman year of college which is on sale but advertised as a premium microbrew from Montana called "Troutslayer Ale." How can a beer brewed in MT be bad if it tries to garner goodwill by appealing to those who might hold z, Zeno, EdI, M2d, Boris, and jbrown in some regard? Well, it sucks and tastes like raw fish guts were placed carefully in every bottle.
12/30/03 Dateline Same Corner of Planet: shortly after worst beer on the planet and 3*** extra pepper thai food you go inspect basement of rental house w/other lunatic a**holes. Foundation looked at, arguments ensue, arachnophobes don't like dirt basement. Hoping any black widows or hobo spiders dead. Deal going forward.
12/31/03 Dateline Office in BFE: Employee at title co. where deal closing is retiring and it is big news in the podunk paper. Obvious signs of retirement party at closing. Unfortunately, certain purchasers saw "About Schmidt" on DVD recently and didn't like retirement parties anyway. Bad scene. Documents signed, problems, ripped up paperwork, delays, free pens, the usual.
12/31/03 Dateline Same BFE as B4: Miscellaneous work driving thru blizzards to various courts of record etc....
12/31/03 Panic at expiring statute of limitations. Draft stuff. run to court.
12/31/03 Dateline Bar In Anonymous Basement: Drink malt whisky w. guy who dumped falling down rental on you. Laphroig better than old Crow. Day getting better. Future deals possible.
12/31/04 Dateline Wannabe Restaurant in BFE: Dinner w/ other couple, one of whom involved in transaction. Couple bottles cab, day getting better. Designated driver who is actually in fact sober has F250 crew cab power stroke that may in fact be capable of doing donuts on icy streets in a residential neighborhood with a dog in the back just to be an ass. No, the driver was not me.
12/31/03 Celebration of 100th anniversary of nowhereville town. Mall is closed off and a mix of activities planned. True nightmare since planner of centennial affair is friend so appearance required. So appearance made w/ other couple. There are activities for kids, geezers, drunks, and politicians all under one roof. Truly surreal. Couple city councilpersons backslapped, other various folks polite conversation w/, alcohol limited to certain roped off area supervised by 4 cops and 2 emts w/ 2 drink max.?? Limit could have been avoided, but about 8oz wild turkey in trash at the prospect, however dim, of going home. On the way out a 15-16 y/o rodeo queen is observed shaking her purple pvc or similar chemical glittery rodeo queen dress clad money maker for a hopelessly crippled lad strapped in a wheelchair with oxygen tank and elmo dolls on it while chubby checker blares from karaoke type dj machine. Where is bukowski when you need him? Why is not HST present on an acid trip to observe this? Unbelievable really.
Home. Thanks. Dogs smell each other and don't chew one another. That's a start. 9 ball played for championship of universe, drinks consumed.
1/1/04 Calendar rolls over, BFD. Except there is the prospect that the USCMichigan Rose Bowl called by keith jackson will be a whoanelliebarnburner and give all hope for living another year on this planet of ours. Or not.
Happy fvucking new year all. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
12/30/03 Dateline BFE: approx 2.7 hours after leaving McPenitentiary eating thai food at a good restaurant in the middle of nowhere where certain misanthropes have in fact eaten and ordering the worst beer in the history of man except for the $7/case heidelberg from freshman year of college which is on sale but advertised as a premium microbrew from Montana called "Troutslayer Ale." How can a beer brewed in MT be bad if it tries to garner goodwill by appealing to those who might hold z, Zeno, EdI, M2d, Boris, and jbrown in some regard? Well, it sucks and tastes like raw fish guts were placed carefully in every bottle.
12/30/03 Dateline Same Corner of Planet: shortly after worst beer on the planet and 3*** extra pepper thai food you go inspect basement of rental house w/other lunatic a**holes. Foundation looked at, arguments ensue, arachnophobes don't like dirt basement. Hoping any black widows or hobo spiders dead. Deal going forward.
12/31/03 Dateline Office in BFE: Employee at title co. where deal closing is retiring and it is big news in the podunk paper. Obvious signs of retirement party at closing. Unfortunately, certain purchasers saw "About Schmidt" on DVD recently and didn't like retirement parties anyway. Bad scene. Documents signed, problems, ripped up paperwork, delays, free pens, the usual.
12/31/03 Dateline Same BFE as B4: Miscellaneous work driving thru blizzards to various courts of record etc....
12/31/03 Panic at expiring statute of limitations. Draft stuff. run to court.
12/31/03 Dateline Bar In Anonymous Basement: Drink malt whisky w. guy who dumped falling down rental on you. Laphroig better than old Crow. Day getting better. Future deals possible.
12/31/04 Dateline Wannabe Restaurant in BFE: Dinner w/ other couple, one of whom involved in transaction. Couple bottles cab, day getting better. Designated driver who is actually in fact sober has F250 crew cab power stroke that may in fact be capable of doing donuts on icy streets in a residential neighborhood with a dog in the back just to be an ass. No, the driver was not me.
12/31/03 Celebration of 100th anniversary of nowhereville town. Mall is closed off and a mix of activities planned. True nightmare since planner of centennial affair is friend so appearance required. So appearance made w/ other couple. There are activities for kids, geezers, drunks, and politicians all under one roof. Truly surreal. Couple city councilpersons backslapped, other various folks polite conversation w/, alcohol limited to certain roped off area supervised by 4 cops and 2 emts w/ 2 drink max.?? Limit could have been avoided, but about 8oz wild turkey in trash at the prospect, however dim, of going home. On the way out a 15-16 y/o rodeo queen is observed shaking her purple pvc or similar chemical glittery rodeo queen dress clad money maker for a hopelessly crippled lad strapped in a wheelchair with oxygen tank and elmo dolls on it while chubby checker blares from karaoke type dj machine. Where is bukowski when you need him? Why is not HST present on an acid trip to observe this? Unbelievable really.
Home. Thanks. Dogs smell each other and don't chew one another. That's a start. 9 ball played for championship of universe, drinks consumed.
1/1/04 Calendar rolls over, BFD. Except there is the prospect that the USCMichigan Rose Bowl called by keith jackson will be a whoanelliebarnburner and give all hope for living another year on this planet of ours. Or not.
Happy fvucking new year all. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif