Gas at the Table

Yesterday I was playing at the bellagio, and this 20 something girl sitting to my right or the guy sitting to my left had the most awful gas problem you could imagine, unfortunately i was caught in the middle and was viewed as one of the suspects by the rest of the table. The table was a typical unfriendly table, and especially with thescent lingering no one dared say a word, even the dealer kept quiet and everyone just played cards. I felt the need to speak up and do some detective work of my own and I tried to initiate some conversation with the man on my left, i asked if he had checked out the buffet, he said he hadn't, it was becoming pretty obvious to me who the culprit was and she let one out but this time it was loud, and she smiled a cute little smile at me saying like its ok because im a girl, but it really wasn't, i couldn't believe how crude this young girl was and was quite offended of her bowel habits at the table. I quickly racked my chips and left the table... i felt really embarassed. how did i handle this situation and how should i handle it in the future?

Andy

Did you ever think she couldn't help it? Some people can't control when there gonna have gas.

First.. try to quietly and politely ask 'Perhaps you should use the restroom?'


Second.. If it is a bad game, use this as an excuse for a table change as Dynasty has suggested.


Third.. If you really don't want to leave the game, but the stench is just unbearable.. Say LOUDLY in front of EVERYONE.. 'WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE LADIES ROOM AND TAKE A SHIT?' I guarantee you within five minutes the problem will be corrected.


Later,

CJ

is that any different than someone lighting up a smoke next to you? except it lasts for ten minutes. i see no difference and the offender should show some class and walk away from the table if she can in time.

but almost everyone can control when they let it go, and where. get up and go to the bathroom, or outside or something. its not hard. go by the slot players at least. it aint cool, and there is no excuse for it.

ray, a lot of cardrooms are now non-smoking. which i prefer comfort-wise. but then again id love to be able to smoke at the table.


either way, both are ultimately not cool to the guy sitting next to you.


i like CJ's response #3. she will not stay there very long after you say that. if she's dumping chips to you, maybe you'd like to think of a more courteous way to take care of it. but don't let the rest of the table mistake YOU as the culprit and be out to get chips from stinky-pants.

Andy,


I know it's irritating, but I doubt that the fumes will kill you. But, it could be much worse.


Back in the 1800's I've read plenty of stories where they urinated and shit in the same room that eat in. I think that's one of the reasons smoking became chic, because it masked the smell.


Good Luck


Mark

Interesting thread ...lol !

Andy


Always a tricky situation.


One has memories of course of foolishly daring mention such emissions at primary school and Bobby "Fingers" Boswell and his tagalong cronies dancing round one pointing their fingers in one's face and yelling "He who smelt it dealt it." No amount of blustering could deflect their insistence that the smell detector was also the smell deliverer.


My strategy nowadays when faced with a beautiful woman at the card table is this. I lean over and push a small pile of chips her way and whisper seductively "I'd pay a ten dollars to hear you fart."


If she is a pasty-faced English tart with an inch of make-up on and she is sitting there thinking she is doing undetected back-bottom burps I wait until she goes to the bar and orders herself a double gin and lemon and when the barman puts it in front of her and she pays for it I pick it up and knock it back in one and belch in her face.


When she demands to know what is occurring I simply say that since I have been forced to endure the fetid smell of her bowels for the last hour I may as well have her drink as well.


With that kind of woman I make it a rule not to sit beside her drinking to the extent where she looks attractive enough to lean over to her and whisper seductively that she is so attractive that I'd use her poo as toothpaste.


No. I do not.


This is a tricky social situation to be in but my method is tried and tested and as long as the lady in question is not accompanied by any big bastards with muscles in their spit it generally sorts out the unpleasant behaviour.


If the lady is doing rather audible emissions I would prefer to use my mother's remedy which is to lean over to her, look her in the eyes, and say "Don't you think the toilet is the place for that?"


Hope this helps the next time, Andy.

I have not experienced this in a poker table but if I do, I have a prepared reply which I have used more than once in a crowded subway in NY. It goes something like this in a loud voice: "ANYBODY FORGOT TO BURY HIS DEAD PET RAT?"


And watch the reaction of the players. You can probably put the culprit on tilt.

"is that any different than someone lighting up a smoke next to you? "


Well yes and no.


No, they both stink.


Yes, because smoking is generally more acceptable when it comes to making a stink than those stinks which originate in your ass. A bit ironic because the smoke will kill you faster than the gas, but the gas will offend you more than the smoke will.


Hope this was helpful. Always like to get my 2 cents in on these highly important topics.

wrong- the smoke lasts longer and is more offensive to me at least. your right about it killing you though, so why is it more acceptable. also, why would say a smoker, complain if you let one go into his space or coughed in his face.

... last night i ate a jar of pickled onions, wore baggy trousers, tightened up my belt, stretched out my splayed legs under the table, and let off two or three in quick succession


results later