Better Quotes.

[blueboles]

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER'S SOUL

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I
say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
--by Jack Handy


I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra


An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields


When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman


24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright


When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
--Brian O'Rourke


Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin


Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
--John Marsh

[Redhotman]

LMAO

[Moyer]

If God meant for us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.

[tiltboy]

Very nice but you haven't included any quotes from the world's foremost authority on beer:

Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is. --Homer Simpson

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure...not even close. --Homer Simpson

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. --Homer Simpson

Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! --Homer Simpson

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer. --Homer Simpson

Homer no function beer well without. --Homer Simpson

Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs. --Homer Simpson

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. --Homer Simpson

You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning. --Homer Simpson

When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer I purchased
With a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was seventeen. --Homer Simpson

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. --Homer Simpson

Rev. Lovejoy : So Homer, please feel free to tell us anything. There's no judgment here.
Homer : The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
Rev. Lovejoy : I cast thee out!

[blueboles]

You sir, are great. I am not worthy of your greatest.