Favorite Poker Quotes

[WillMagic]

Just for a little levity - post a good one if you have it.

My personal favorite:

"Poker is part of God's plan to take money from stupid people and give it to smart people"

From my father

[DONKEYJAWS]

hahaha thats great.

[Bozeman]

"Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker."
-Amarillo Slim

From memory, so probably paraphrased:
"You bluffing, I win. You not bluffing, we keep playing."
Scotty Nguyen winning (1998 WSOP?) seen on ESPN before I was a real player.

some (mostly from entertainment) at www.ichibanpoker.com/ichiban_quotes.htm (http://www.ichibanpoker.com/ichiban_quotes.htm)

[Your Mom]

I thought Scotty's bluff of Humberto was better. Holdem? God damn, I thought we were playing blackjack.

[Joe Tall]

"Bad things sometimes happen to good cards."
-ResidentParanoid of 2+2.

[CrackerZack]

Scotty's "You call, it gonna be all over." was pretty entertaining too.

[lunchmeat]

"a tough way to make an easy living"

[deathtoau]

my personal favorite is "I don't tell you how to spend your money, don't tell me how to spend other peoples"

[ratbastard]

"It's a simple game that is very difficult to play."

Overheard in a poker room.

[Tommy Angelo]

I've seen 'em come and I've seen 'em go. Mostly go.

[Mikey]

"you keep playing cards like that you are going to be walking atta here with nothing but your dick in your hands."

[Mikey]

a man playing J5o from the blind, flops two pair and wins.
He turns towards the dealer and says....

"You turned [censored] into sherbert."

[Josh W]

I was playing in a NL tourny with Layne Flack two weeks ago. When a weak player continually bluffed into Layne and busted himself, Layne then told the table:

"No need to push when a donkey does the pulling".

Wow. Best I've ever heard.

J

[Copernicus]

Under the heading of "People with more money than brains"

Sat down at 20/40 Omaha, and immediately go 4 bets every round vs a guy with 3 fresh racks in front of him...he throws over his cards saying "Send it...Ive got the nuts." then "What do you mean you can only use 2 pocket cards"?

[johnd]

Not a poker Quote per say but it I think of it often when I play.
Paraphrased

"Conan what is best in life"

"To crush your enemies, drive them before you, and hear the weeping and laminations of their women."

[Aragorn]

"Drinking won't hurt your game much if you are already the worst player at the table."

John Fox

[warlockjd]

Best quote I've seen was from another 2+2er, I think...to a steamer: "Shhhh....I'm trying to count your chips."

[Magician]

"Did you have it?"

"Sorry, John - I can't remember."

[HUSKER'66]

No limit Hold'em.....takes a minute to learn and a lifetime to master.

[Dwayne]

"There are two kinds of card players at this table, those that are lucky and those that don't have it."

"If it weren't for the river there would be no fish."

[Tyler Durden]

"All I'm saying is, if the cards ever break even...I don't have a prayer."

[agenbite]

From an old time card room player back in the day, in Chico, CA, when his buddy (who lost most of the time) won the biggest pot I've ever seen:

"Old blind sow finally found an acorn"

Had to be there. Players nearly fell out of their chairs. I understand it's an old saying, but I haven't heard it since.

[Huh]

"Aces no good...I have threes up"