Boris
08-18-2003, 02:01 PM
Seabiscuit. Go see it. Totally awesome flick. I loved it. If Gladiator won the academy award for best picture then Seabiscuit should be a shoe-in.
Open Range: This movie sucks. We snuck into Open Range after Seabiscuit. I would've been pissed if I actually paid to see it. How does Kevin Costner keep getting money to make movies that suck so bad? How does he do it? Is this Hollywood's response to piracy? Make a movie so bad that no one will steal it?
Open Range is supposed to be a western and what is a western? A western is a movie with cowboys and fist fights and gun fights and booze and cattle rustlin and whores.
So what happens in Open Range? Well after the first 15 minutes in which nothing happens, one of the cowboys has to go to town to get supplies. When he's in town he gets the crap kicked out of him by the bad guys, which includes the sherrif. Then he gets thrown in jail. This is all good stuff for a western but what happens in Open Range? Open Range doesn't show this exciting stuff. We just learn about it after the fact. Instead, we get to see another 15 minutes of a stupid little dog sitting in the grass and a scene where the orphaned mexican boy is picking at his stinky feet. I'm not making this up.
Exhibit #2: After the good buys get their beat up buddy out of jail and bring him back to the cattle herd (again, they did this peacefully), they see the bad guys coming to raise trouble. They sneak up on the bad guys at night with the purpose of scaring them out of the area. These are the same bad guys that put the boots their buddy in town. Now you would think that this is a good place for the good guys to lay the smackdown and kick some serious butt. What happens in Open Range? Robert Duvall pulls out a pistol and tells the bad guys to take off their pants! I started getting a little uncomfortable at this point, half expecting a JOEYBITCH type scene. Anyways, I could go on and on about this piece of crap movie. Just do yourself a favor and don't see it.
Open Range: This movie sucks. We snuck into Open Range after Seabiscuit. I would've been pissed if I actually paid to see it. How does Kevin Costner keep getting money to make movies that suck so bad? How does he do it? Is this Hollywood's response to piracy? Make a movie so bad that no one will steal it?
Open Range is supposed to be a western and what is a western? A western is a movie with cowboys and fist fights and gun fights and booze and cattle rustlin and whores.
So what happens in Open Range? Well after the first 15 minutes in which nothing happens, one of the cowboys has to go to town to get supplies. When he's in town he gets the crap kicked out of him by the bad guys, which includes the sherrif. Then he gets thrown in jail. This is all good stuff for a western but what happens in Open Range? Open Range doesn't show this exciting stuff. We just learn about it after the fact. Instead, we get to see another 15 minutes of a stupid little dog sitting in the grass and a scene where the orphaned mexican boy is picking at his stinky feet. I'm not making this up.
Exhibit #2: After the good buys get their beat up buddy out of jail and bring him back to the cattle herd (again, they did this peacefully), they see the bad guys coming to raise trouble. They sneak up on the bad guys at night with the purpose of scaring them out of the area. These are the same bad guys that put the boots their buddy in town. Now you would think that this is a good place for the good guys to lay the smackdown and kick some serious butt. What happens in Open Range? Robert Duvall pulls out a pistol and tells the bad guys to take off their pants! I started getting a little uncomfortable at this point, half expecting a JOEYBITCH type scene. Anyways, I could go on and on about this piece of crap movie. Just do yourself a favor and don't see it.