Who has the POWER in Suburbia?

Suburban life is not that far of a departure from the Hold'em Wars, which are now in the second Millennium. The Hold'em battle field requires patience, power, and position, in suburbia you also need patience, power, and position. Suburban living however, requires a different kind of awareness when it comes to the three p's. You must ask questions before you make any kind of move in suburban land. Asking first who has the power? Having the power is your first line of defense in suburbia, getting the power is sometimes tricky.


The day begins with a power play , who will make breakfast? Here is where patience comes into play. Making the coffee is not part of the breakfast equation. Coffee is a staple to help old bodies limber up and it jump starts the heart with caffeine and helps accentuate the flavor of nicotine. With caffeine and nicotine in the bodies system, patience is made easier. The face off begins on the front porch, coffee cups and cigarettes in hand.


The silence of the morning is only broken by the chirping of all the suburban critters and the sound of hot coffee being slurped. The two combatants face each other in their folding chairs neither speaking. The one who speaks first loses, maybe. The SPM breaks the ice with, "are you working to night?" "No, responds the critical care RN as she puts the coffee cup to her lips. Her first mistake of the day, covering her lips, puts her out of position and in listening mode because she is unable to speak. "Good, how about rustling up some breakfast I think my blood sugar is low," says the insulin dependent SPM. It's called, crying wolf, to a sympathetic RN. The SPM rakes in the first victory of the day.


During breakfast the SPM loses his position as he shovels the beacon and eggs into his mouth. "The house needs cleaning," she says, as he races to swallow the food so he can counter her attack. To late she regains the power and he is now out of position and behind an electric vacuum. Feeling the rush of power, she follows him around with additional chores to be accomplished after the vacuuming. Out smarted again the SPM looks at his list of honey do's and vows he will never marry again.


SPM,...play long and prosper...

by jackson brown...put in on blasting loud...and realize..your'e someone who "started out so brave and true, only to surrender..." gl

You played badly. You should have come out betting by volunteering to make breakfast: beacon and eggs, homefries, biscuits, and grapefruit wedges. It would take a hell of a player to come back at you with a honey-do raise after that.


Tom D

HI!SPM I didn't know you were capable of wrighting this stuff.We miss you at de boat.Mr.5/3

i can tell you ain't married..lol..gl

Yeah, completely delusional post by Tom D.

I think you and Scalf need a lesson in how the game is played. I am married (Scalf), but far from delusional, as you will see.


Like poker, marriage is a game of position and initiative. Let me give you an example.


I hang up my bath towel without being told, and sometimes, I even fold it neatly in half if it’s too wide for the rack. You see, I take the initiative here. This gives me power, and boldly demonstrates that I am not your common boor. However, the other day, my wife asked me why I always hang my towel up with the non-print side showing. Seemingly, she had seized the upper hand. (Like, who knew towels have a print-side and that there is a preferred way to hang them up?) But, I had a brilliant defense. I scoffed and then, maintaining my finest poker face, I explained to her that towels have only two sides, which makes it fifty-fifty which side shows when I hang them up, and therefore mathematically inconceivable that I could have always hung them up print-side in for the last fifteen years. Well, I don’t have to tell you, but faced with irrefutable logic, my wife, recognizing she had no defense, turned and left the room without a word. That’s how the game is played.


Since then, I have discovered that not all towels have prints. (It’s true.) I could mention that to my wife, but I have a feeling, call it a hunch, that I don’t need to. I think she gets the picture without my piling it on.


Tom D

Look, if your wife thought to bug you about which side was out on the towel, you have set expectations way way too high. You need to lower the expectation level to near zero. Then if you do something, it gets noticed more. Additionally, if the expectation level is near zero, the list of stuff to do will be shorter. You want to get it so that a list of one or two things is a big deal. Also, when it comes to discussions, logic will not work. Cave early. This is a good defense.