$2,000,000,000

What would you do if you had $2,000,000,000 just given to you no strings attached. I don't want to hear [censored] like buy my parents a 4234324 sq ft house or something stupid like that. You will lose cool points for that.

I want funny stuff.

For example:

I'd hire a Mexican Midget Mariachi Band to stand in my foyer in full attire (ponchos, sombrerors) singing "La Cucharacha" and other Mexican Songs. They'd have to sing primarily in Mexican.

Hire people to play real life Halo with me, but they only get to shoot paintballs and I get to shoot blanks at them.

Re-enact Animal Survivor

Re-enact how many five year olds

Etc...

What about you?

[gorie]

i'd buy my parents something really nice. like a house maybe.

I'd also start up a company that trained spider monkeys in the art of bringing beer to people on command.

[Shajen]

I'd hire Michael Buffer to introduce me every time I walked into a room. It wouldn't be just him though. I'd have some lighting folks, a DJ playing some tight-assed beats, strobe lights everywhere, and a cheering section.

That, or 2 chicks at the same time.

[swede123]

Whenever I get really bad service in any kind of retail/dining/entertainment situation I dream about having unlimited funds so I could purchase the establishment right there and then just so I could fire the moron who screwed me over. That would be fun.

Swede

[asofel]

hire Dominic to reshoot the favorite porn scene thread with the good OOTers recast into them...

[Rockatansky]

I would buy gorie a sense of humor. And a personal trainer.

ETA: I'm with you on the monkey butler idea.

[Stuey]

[ QUOTE ]
i'd buy my parents something really nice. like a house maybe.

[/ QUOTE ]

She had extra points she didn't want I guess.

[Luv2DriveTT]

[ QUOTE ]
They'd have to sing primarily in Mexican.

[/ QUOTE ]

ignorance is bliss?

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd hire Michael Buffer to introduce me every time I walked into a room. It wouldn't be just him though. I'd have some lighting folks, a DJ playing some tight-assed beats, strobe lights everywhere, and a cheering section.

[/ QUOTE ]

that really cracked me up.

I can see it now, walking into work...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND COMING THROUGH THE DOOR RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW........STIIIIIIIIIIIIILLL HUNGOVER FROM THE WEEEKENNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD.......NOT GOING TO DO A DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN THING TOODAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY......"

I'd make a statue of Gorie with enhanced boobs and ass to make her feel better!

http://www.lambdapsiphi.com/daft/daft/images/dtopen5.jpg

Duh.

[Shajen]

Oh, Buffer would hate me too.

I'd get up and walk out a room and come back in multiple times just to be a bastard.

Cut him off halfway through: SHUT THE [censored] UP, BUFFER! CHRIST!!

etc, etc...it would rule.

[Stuey]

buy all the PT-141 I could get. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PT-141)

[shant]

I would pay whatever it would take to move the entire operation that tapes the Maury Show into my living room.

[SCfuji]

buy canada

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
I would buy gorie a sense of humor. And a personal trainer.

ETA: I'm with you on the monkey butler idea.

[/ QUOTE ]

it sounds to me like you are the one lacking the sense of humor.
and that's not the only thing you're lacking w/ that comment about the personal trainer. but thanks for thinking of me!

[Eurotrash]

amongst other things?


naked pictures of Bea Arthur

a football helmet filled with cream cheese.

Also, Id fake my own death, and during the wake, Id have strobe lights, and techno music come on. Then Id raise out of my coffin, like a marionette on strings, and start "dancing". Then Id be all, bitches Im not dead, Im rich, now lets party.

Part of that was stolen from someone/where, cant remember to give cred though.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
They'd have to sing primarily in Mexican.

[/ QUOTE ]

ignorance is bliss?

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously I know it's Spanish TT... I speak it fluently enough to order a burrito at taco bell.

Quiero un taco grande por favor con una limonada!

[ QUOTE ]
amongst other things?


naked pictures of Bea Arthur

a football helmet filled with cream cheese.

[/ QUOTE ]


Airheads was an awesmoe movie.

Oh.. I'd also have servants attached to electrical puppet strings so I could make them dance like actually puppets.

[danzasmack]

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.lambdapsiphi.com/daft/daft/images/dtopen5.jpg

Duh.

[/ QUOTE ]

Clearly.

Also I'd start my own company. It would have my office and another, as well as a kitchen and a janitor, who would be that guy from royal tennenbaums. I would have a huge file cabinet and get emails every 10 minutes telling me "things are going nuts, we don't know the following:" with a list of [censored] going wrong. I'd open my door and run out to the other office where the 3 guys from the nextel commercial would be and i would live out that commercial.

Also I would buy them lunch every day and over lunch tell them "you guys crack me up"

Then, once i got bored of them I'd kill them and use my big stack of hamiltons to pay off all those invovled.

And finally, I'd become batman.

I think I win.

Dump whatever it took into nanotech/robotic research to build me some kind of super exoskeleton and go fight crime and save hot chicks.

Mainly save hot chicks.

Ray

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd make a statue of Gorie with enhanced boobs and ass to make her feel better!

[/ QUOTE ]
now that i think about it, an enormous gorie statue would make me feel pretty good.

[samjjones]

Challenge Daryn to a all-or-nothing prop bet to see who has the higher IQ.

Haha become batman is sweet.

I'd hire real life people to pose as statues. That would be hot. I'd also hire a butler named like Rick or Bill and I'd call him Jeeves over and over again and if he protested, I'd have my spider monkey fling poo in his face.

[DrSavage]

I know the first thing I'm gonna do:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v258/ikreyer/jordan.jpg

Edit: Oh yeah, two chicks at the same time too obv.

[Alobar]

I go around finding out how much it really takes for people to do all the stupid things they talk about. Like how much it takes for your average OOTer to suck off another guy, [censored] like that. Cuz everyone has a price for anything you can come up with.

Id also make commercials about whatever I felt like, and run them on network TV all the time.

And Id pay to have photographers follow around paparazzi memebers all day.

id also start my own church

[Sponger15SB]

I'd stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich and have sex all [censored] day. Then I'd dress up like a clown and suprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater and then wait....until somebody sat in it. Hear a squish. that's funny to me. Then I'd paint and read and play violin, climb the mountains and sing the songs I like to sing.

[Colonel Kataffy]

sharks with laser beams

I know it's a family guy ref, but I still want it...

Live Theme Music - Hire a band or DJ to folow me around expressing my mood musicly.

[Sponger15SB]

Seriously, I'd buy a cave and live in it and never come out for fear that everyone I know and loved will turn against me and will try to kill me and steal my money.

I'm super paranoid like that.

[Rockatansky]

[ QUOTE ]
I know the first thing I'm gonna do:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v258/ikreyer/jordan.jpg

Edit: Oh yeah, two chicks at the same time too obv.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. NH

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Easy solution, kill all your friends and family before they kill you.

[ QUOTE ]
Quiero un taco grande por favor con una limonada!

[/ QUOTE ]

No comprendo.
You didn't put the upside down exclamation point at the beginning of the sentence.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
Easy solution, kill all your friends and family before they kill you.

[/ QUOTE ]

omg! this was so simple, why didn't I ever think of it.

Ok first thing I do is kill everyone I know. Then I buy a big house with lots of video games and then one of those fleshlight jack off things and I'll be set for life.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

Are you saying that you want to see OOT penis?

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know the first thing I'm gonna do:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v258/ikreyer/jordan.jpg

Edit: Oh yeah, two chicks at the same time too obv.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. NH

[/ QUOTE ]

is that...?

[Ulysses]

Slider,

This reminds me of a guy I knew back in the 80s. He had a rich uncle die and leave him $300 million. But one string was attached. To get the $300 million, he had to spend $30 million in 30 days and have nothing left to show for the money, no assets, nothing! It was a pretty crazy month!

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Yeah that's probably the best way to go. You would not want any strangers to get into your house. They might have germs that will end your life early. Keep the place completly steril, no more human contact.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
Slider,

This reminds me of a guy I knew back in the 80s. He had a rich uncle die and leave him $300 million. But one string was attached. To get the $300 million, he had to spend $30 million in 30 days and have nothing left to show for the money, no assets, nothing! It was a pretty crazy month!

[/ QUOTE ]


haha, awesome<font color="white">to bad most are to young to even know that movie </font>

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
I know the first thing I'm gonna do:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v258/ikreyer/jordan.jpg

Edit: Oh yeah, two chicks at the same time too obv.

[/ QUOTE ]

wp

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
he had to spend $30 million in 30 days and have nothing left to show for the money, no assets, nothing! It was a pretty crazy month!

[/ QUOTE ]

I always hated this movie because of how insanely easy this would have been in real life. How long would it take you to spend $30,000,000? Two hours tops? Where is the nearest super expensive art gallery and can I borrow a match. There, 30mil gone now give me my $300,000,000

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had 2 billion dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do [censored].

[Noo Yawk]

[ QUOTE ]
buy canada

[/ QUOTE ]

What would you do with the remaining $1,999,999,995.?

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[Predator314]

[ QUOTE ]
What would you do if you had $2,000,000,000 just given to you no strings attached.

[/ QUOTE ]

2 chicks at the same time.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
he had to spend $30 million in 30 days and have nothing left to show for the money, no assets, nothing! It was a pretty crazy month!

[/ QUOTE ]

I always hated this movie because of how insanely easy this would have been in real life. How long would it take you to spend $30,000,000? Two hours tops? Where is the nearest super expensive art gallery and can I borrow a match. There, 30mil gone now give me my $300,000,000

[/ QUOTE ]

that wouldnt work. sure the painting would be ruined, but you would still own it.

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
Whenever I get really bad service in any kind of retail/dining/entertainment situation I dream about having unlimited funds so I could purchase the establishment right there and then just so I could fire the moron who screwed me over. That would be fun.

Swede

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is a good one. I would most definitely do this. Well, after I got sick of Buffer. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
that wouldnt work. sure the painting would be ruined, but you would still own it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fine. Instead of burning it, I'll take a big [censored] on it and give it to you for being such a smart ass.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
that wouldnt work. sure the painting would be ruined, but you would still own it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fine. Instead of burning it, I'll take a big [censored] on it and give it to you for being such a smart ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

that would have been against the rules too. You couldnt just give anything away. You suck at this game, good thing ure name isnt brewster

2*(2,000,000,000)/(1,000,000) chicks at the same time

[danzasmack]

[ QUOTE ]
2*(2,000,000,000)/(1,000,000) chicks at the same time

[/ QUOTE ]

vn

[TiK]

Million naked midget march across the Verazanno bridge.

Id get a credit card with a $3,000,000,000 limit and 6 months later be in way over my head...


MDoranD

[CallMeIshmael]

[ QUOTE ]
a football helmet filled with cottage cheese.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im almost certain.

[BCPVP]

Buy one of these:
http://img425.imageshack.us/img425/7662/b27bj.jpg

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
a football helmet filled with cottage cheese.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im almost certain.

[/ QUOTE ]



[censored], now that I think about it... you're right. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

I KNEW it looked wrong when I typed it. i wish I had double checked it

[geormiet]

I would start a poker site that had no rake and gave insane bonuses, in order to put party poker out of business.

[MrMon]

I'd go to the top law firm in town and make them stroke me to become a client. Really make them dance to get my business. Push them to see how low they'd go. Make it a condition to get me that they irrevocably fire their marketing director with no severance before I sign. Then refuse to sign.

Yes, I'm still bitter.

[FatalError]

Get a house with a 50 car garage filled with every car from gone in 60 seconds

Hire the iron chefs (american and japanese) to cook me meals to my random whims

Bring back the concorde... for personal use... at my own airstrip

put a billion dollars on red

First of all I would hire Jessica Alba. She would accompany me everywhere. Her job would be to interact with people on my behalf. I would whisper what I wanted to say into her ear, and she would then tell the person. When they responded she would relay the message by whispering it in my ear as sexily as possible, and hopefully putting one of her hands anywhere on my body. I hope that this service costs less than 99% of the money, however if it takes every last penny well that's life.

You know all those enron and worldcom types who bought stupid stuff with the billions they stole? cars, houses, gold umbrella holders? You know what I would do if I had that much money? I would hire a beautiful girl, give her full benefits, a great salary, and she would.....wash my balls all day. walk around, srcub scrub, play tennis, scrub wash, etc. And I would meet with my ex worldcom and enron ceos and they would say "what the hell is that?" And I would say "its my personal ball washer. What did you buy, a new house!??? HAHAHAHAH!!"

(obviously a bad paraphrasing of Lewis Black, but its still funny)

[bisonbison]

New socks every day for life.

[Rduke55]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
he had to spend $30 million in 30 days and have nothing left to show for the money, no assets, nothing! It was a pretty crazy month!

[/ QUOTE ]

I always hated this movie because of how insanely easy this would have been in real life. How long would it take you to spend $30,000,000? Two hours tops? Where is the nearest super expensive art gallery and can I borrow a match. There, 30mil gone now give me my $300,000,000

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you even see that movie? One of the rules was something along the line that you can't destroy anything of heritable value. (I think that was the term)

[citanul]

[ QUOTE ]
They'd have to sing primarily in Mexican.

[/ QUOTE ]

you're winning the dumbest person in oot award today i think.

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
What would you do if you had $2,000,000,000 just given to you no strings attached

[/ QUOTE ]
absolutely nothing.

[Supersetoy]

I hate to fly, so I'd buy 3 of the most expensive tour buses available. Then I'd fill 2 of them with armed body guards, and 1 with me and multiple strippers and some of my lucky friends.

Of course, we'd get tired of the strippers we had, so we'd travel across the country, nay, the world (our buses would go on ships that I would also purchase) and purchase other stippers from new clubs and drop the old ones off. The whole time they would be stripping or dancing and if not doing either they would be finger banging one another.

I'd then purchase everything on craig's list, including craig's list so that no one could use the site anymore.

I'd hire a bunch of lawyers, lobbyists, and people to start iniatiatives so I could create laws that I saw fit. I would also use these people to bitch slap anyone who had a ring tone on their cell phone I found unfit, then use them to protect me from litigation.

[dblgutshot]

[ QUOTE ]


Did you even see that movie? One of the rules was something along the line that you can't destroy anything of heritable value. (I think that was the term)

[/ QUOTE ]

I haven't seent his movie in a long time, but wouldn't destroying a painting be the same as what he did with the valuble stamps?

I'd send it to a person living in a 3rd world nation. Then watch as the countries economy collapses upon itself due to extreme inflation.

muhahahahaha.

[Sabrazack]

This is pure brilliance!

[ QUOTE ]
I'd send it to a person living in a 3rd world nation. Then watch as the countries economy collapses upon itself due to extreme inflation.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.hjo3.net/orly/gal1/orly_indian.jpg