Banging Chicks from Real Life

[HiatusOver]

I have heard that if u are not hideous looking, have a decent personality (or can pretend you have a decent personality) and know a few "tricks of the trade" you can actually find a girl out there in real life somewhere and have sex with them (read: for free, obv we have all banged real life girls for $$$).

Here is my 3 week plan before my quest starts...

1. Go buy a bunch of new clothes at some hip stores in NYC (I will consult JV on what is in style this month).

2. Work out at the gym 5 times a week. Cardio, Full body...the works. I will probably get a trainer too.

3. Purchase the book, "Finding girls in real life and banging them for advanced players" and read and re-read it till the binding falls off.

4. Clean my appartment

5. Get a haircut and a shave

After 3 weeks I will start to frequent local watering holes, museums, laundromats, grocery stores etc., and see if I can actually find a real life girl to bang.

If anyone has any tips or clues that will help me in my quest I would really appreciate it. If any of you have actually banged a real life girl before please tell the story below and what you did to make it happen, that will definitely help a lot!

Anything else to add please go ahead. If u dont think I can do this thats your opinion, but I have heard people have done it and I don't see why I cant.

Thanks in advance for any help.

GL to me!

[jba]

real life is rigged, don't bother.

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(read: for free, obv we have all banged real life girls for $$$).


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real life is rigged, don't bother.

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Sooooo rigged, I never got any money for banging girls!

[SippinSoma]

GL. If you don't know everything about weightlifting and you just want to look good, I strongly suggest you get the trainer. You will see the results you want much faster.

[Paluka]

Instead of working out, I suggest playing more poker and then stuffing your clothing with money to create the illusion of muscle.

[SippinSoma]

Also, IMO, Wanna be Big (http://www.wannabebig.com) and Fast Seduction 101 (http://www.fastseduction.com) are the 2p2s of their fields.

[Clarkmeister]

Step one is to post hands in OOT for critique. We can't help you if we can't see how you play. Always remember that pics are not only helpful, but essential.

[HiatusOver]

Good Adive soma, somewhat creepy u had these 2 sites at your fingertips, but good advice nonetheless. I bet ya people on these message boards have actually banged chicks from real life.

[HiatusOver]

I have tried stuffing my clothes with bricks of money before. It didnt work...if it has worked for u please PM me with details, I was obviously doing something wrong. I assume if it works and u get a girl to come home with u, when she realizes u dont have muscle but just a bunch of bricks of money she wont mind?

Ok I have the tips and secrets on how to succeed.

1) Get a really big penis, this is vital. Anyway you can do this, do it. Chicks dig this for some strange reason. 2 inch wang = pathetic. 9 inch wang = your key to the love pudding.

2) Watch all the Hans and Franz you can get your hands on. They make Ivan Drago look like the sissy man he is. "I must break you?" Please, Hanz and Franz piss on Drago. Not only will they *clap* PUMP...you UP! but they will teach you to speak in an accent that melts women into puddles of mushy poo. I cannot stress this enough...accents are overpowering tools to get all the sex you desire. Just ask Arnold. All he has to do is say, "I am Ahhnold," and BAM, women at his feet begging to be his love slave.

3) Forget the shave and a haircut. Haven't you seen Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me? Not only does he get all the poon tang he wants, but the chicks ACTUALLY dig his hairiness. During the memorable chess pieces sex scene, I quote the Russian model who wants to bang Austin into the 21st century, "You are hairy like ANIMAL." If you have to put chia pet goo on your chest, do it. This is standard. Nh.

4) Watch all the Baywatch you can get your hands on. Now that Hanz and Franz have taken care of your muscles, it's time to pump up your sexiness. David Hasselhoff running down the beach will teach you the tricks of the trade you need to bang any female who has a pulse. Purchasing his music albums is an add on that I recommend. Watching the Baywatch boobies bounce up and down is simply a bonus. It will provide you with the motivation you need to get your hands on those precious melons of fun.

I'm pretty sure this has all been mentioned before, but only for a price. I provide these secrets to you, my fellow 2+2'ers, free of charge. Use them, study them, and you too can trick any beautiful woman into foolishly having sex with you when chances are you are way too ugly to deserve it.

Neff

[vexvelour]

wow you think too much about this stuff.

[scott8]

HO,

When girls ask what you do for a living, reply with, "I make lots, and lots, of money."

Then laugh deep, like a manical tycoon. "MUHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHA"

Chicks dig this [censored].

Banging 101,

Calda

[samjjones]

[ QUOTE ]
HO,

When girls ask what you do for a living, reply with, "I make lots, and lots, of money."

Then laugh deep, like a manical tycoon. "MUHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHA"

Chicks dig this [censored].

Banging 101,

Calda

[/ QUOTE ] http://members.aol.com/SprFriends/lexluthor2.jpg

[HiatusOver]

What stuff? I think too much about banging real life girls? Is that possible? Are u saying u dont think I should go for the haircut/shave either?

Read my post. Negative on the shave and a haircut. Reread all sections.

[AdamBragar]

I'm about to write something shocking. I firmly believe that many of the posters in this forum actually have had sex. And I mean with real people and not blow up dolls. Although, blow up dolls don't talk, so maybe everyone needs to do some reevaluation. Now we're all huge dorks, so how does this happen?

Here's the thing, ugly girls need loving too. When I was back in college, it was easy to tell how long it had been since a guy got some. If he was saying some ugly [censored] was looking good, he hadn't gotten some for a while. The longer it's been since you've stuck your phalice in one of a girl's orafices, the hotter girls seem. So if it's been a while, you might think you are railing some hot piece of poon, but really, you're shagging a piece of lard with a vagina attatched to it. So yeah, a lot of us have probably gotten with nasty chicks that we thought were hot and some of us (including me) are probably lying to ourselves and still think they are hot.

I'd be pretty depressed at the thought that I'm only going to bang ugly chicks for the rest of my life. But here's the thing, girls are stupid sluts. All of them. So you will be able to trick them into the sack. But first, how to choose a legit hot girl. Masturbate...a lot. This will keep your evaluative abilities at a high level. Not the same level as when you actually get some, but if you spank it enough, you'll be doing ok.

Once you get new clothes and work out at the gym, you're going to be feeling good about yourself. I like that. Some girl is going to make some comment to you while you are trying to get a drink at a bar, and instead of thinking, oh she's just being nice, you'll be thinking, she wants it in her pooper. Solid. The clothes might help, working out for 3 weeks won't do much, but you'll have more energy and being feeling good about yourself.

The othe real key, one that might be in small stakes finding girls and shagging them rotten, is alcohol. Go to bars, drink a lot, a see what happens. In college, this was my normal plan, and it seemed to work out well. I've got a lot more advice, but this is a good starting point.

[vexvelour]

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But here's the thing, girls are stupid sluts. All of them. So you will be able to trick them into the sack.

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YSSCKY

[N 82 50 24]

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Once you get new clothes and work out at the gym, you're going to be feeling good about yourself. I like that. Some girl is going to make some comment to you while you are trying to get a drink at a bar, and instead of thinking, oh she's just being nice, you'll be thinking, she wants it in her pooper. Solid.

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Wow, I just choked on my breakfast when I read that, LOLOL.

[AdamBragar]

Don't get me wrong. All guys are stupid sluts too.

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But here's the thing, girls are stupid sluts. All of them. So you will be able to trick them into the sack.

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YSSCKY

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STFU

The only reason to write YSSCKY is because after he wins the nobel prize for his manifesto to allow all 2+2'ers to stick it in any female they want, he will have no reason to live. His legacy will be cemented.

I kneel and say a prayer to banging chicks.

[LeatherFace]

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But here's the thing, girls are smart sluts. All of them. So you wont be able to trick them into the sack.

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YSSCKY

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Better?

If you follow Neff's 4 Point Poonani Plan along with AdamBragar's manifesto, it won't be about tricking. Think of it like the Matrix. Neo asks if he'll be able to dodge bullets, and Morpheus says, no, blah blah, you won't even have to. Same thing applies here. It's not about tricking women, it's just about existing for the purpose of hot women throwing their poon at you. You won't have to trick them, they will just come unknowingly, unwittingly, like the people at the end of Field of Dreams. I really should charge for this advice.

[AdamBragar]

So my friend has a tuft of hair on his back. He doesn't have a full grown carpet of back hair, just a random patch of backhair towards his neck. So he's on a date one night with this girl and she goes to put her arm on his back and feels the tuft of back hair. She doesn't pull her arm away, no, she just keeps rubbing his back (including the hair). When this happened, he knew he's in. So, before gluing some hair to your chest, I'd be careful. It's a pretty good test of the self esteem of the girl. If she sees the unsightly hair and accepts it, she is a girl of low self-esteem and likely low morals. You will be able to get her in bed and do all types of freaky stuff. I think this was a concept a sex-machine like powers mastered. He could identify the freaky girls due to an arsenal of weapons including his body carpet.

But if you look at Hans and Franz, Drago or Hasselhoff (who probably banged the whole cast of Baywatch, good man), they seem to be virtually hairless. Besides the hair advice, if I've learned anything, it's come from tv and movies. So this advice can't be wrong.

[samjjones]

[ QUOTE ]
So my friend has a tuft of hair on his back. He doesn't have a full grown carpet of back hair, just a random patch of backhair towards his neck. So he's on a date one night with this girl and she goes to put her arm on his back and feels the tuft of back hair. She doesn't pull her arm away, no, she just keeps rubbing his back (including the hair). When this happened, he knew he's in. So, before gluing some hair to your chest, I'd be careful. It's a pretty good test of the self esteem of the girl. If she sees the unsightly hair and accepts it, she is a girl of low self-esteem and likely low morals. You will be able to get her in bed and do all types of freaky stuff. I think this was a concept a sex-machine like powers mastered. He could identify the freaky girls due to an arsenal of weapons including his body carpet.

But if you look at Hans and Franz, Drago or Hasselhoff (who probably banged the whole cast of Baywatch, good man), they seem to be virtually hairless. Besides the hair advice, if I've learned anything, it's come from tv and movies. So this advice can't be wrong.

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Although I enjoy your posts, I must take issue with one point. Mitch Buchanan rocked the chestfro.

http://movietab.com/wp-content/davidhasselhoff.jpg

[VeryTnA]

It's a numbers game.
Step One.
Say one word to a (acceptable looking) woman. Hello. Do not say anything else!

If you get a smile and warm hello back you are 75% of the way to a magic carpet ride.

Step Two.
Start a conversation about a local topic of interest. Concert coming up, new bar opening, etc. etc. You know simple small talk.

Step Three.
If she is still smiling and friendly ask her out for drinks. After that let the booze do its thing. You are 90% of the way to a magic carpet ride. You must make the last 10% on you own. No one can help you unless you have a three way going.

Three ways are for advanced players. Do not attempt unless you have great experience or lots and lots of booze has been consumed.

If she is NOT smiling and friendly move on to the next (acceptable looking) woman. Start over with step one. Repeat step as necessary until you reach your goal.

This process will get easier the more you practice. One woman saying No does not mean a No from all women. Any woman that says No is usually just a bitch anyway (or has a boyfriend that will kick your ass) and you are better off without her. Move on until you find a woman that is not a bitch. "Acceptable looking" can vary greatly depending on your level of desperation.

One word of caution. If you find a woman that is not a bitch today, does not mean that she won't be a bitch tomorrow. It that case go back to Step One.

[kagame]

how can we get trainwrecks if you meet the girl in real life?

plus, myspace girls will eagerly urge you to "stick it in their poopers" as other posters have aptly noted as key

http://www.bristollair.com/ - The bible

[AdamBragar]

This guy is definetely speaking the truth. You gotta hit on a lot of girls. The more you speak to, the higher the chance of success. This is simple logic, but a lot of guys just don't do it. Some might call it sleazy, but, really, it's just being friendly. Just like sex. Is having a lot of sex sleazy? Of course not, it's how souls shake hands.

[highlife]

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http://www.bristollair.com/ - The bible

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taking pickup advice from the british? thats scary.

[ononimo]

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Is having a lot of sex sleazy? Of course not, it's how souls shake hands.

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i like it.

[AdamBragar]

I don't think being ripped matters as much in NYC (where I live as well), as opposed to Miami Beach or something. If you lived in Miami, I'd tell you to take roids and hit the gym constantly (it doesn't matter if your wang shrank to 2 inches big cause by the time they see it, you are gonna be sticking it in them anyway), but in NYC, a lot of not so buff guys get poon. Money, in NY, seems to matter a lot. Rock out the huge wads of cash when you go out.

You've got your p***r bankroll, well, now you've got your Poon-Hunting Roll. This roll will definitely see a lot more downswings but you'll see some big scores. Now when you're out at a bar, tip well. I'd tip well anyway cause bartenders have a tough job and deserve good tips, but now, you can impress when you pull out your wads of money, and tip something nice.

If you are taking a girl out for dinner, go to some place nice, but not too nice, cause then you're just a douche. If you get a girl to agree to dinner, we'll figure a good restaurant then.

[ononimo]

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but in NYC, a lot of not so buff guys get poon. Money, in NY, seems to matter a lot.

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this is true, too, but the key is to avoid being a total jackass about it. there's a fine line between money enhancing your desirability and money making you seem like a complete [censored].

the trick is to be able to treat a girl to the "finer things in life" without making it seem like you expect her to be impressed.

[AdamBragar]

Now we are getting somewhere with this. Ononimo is right. Don't start wearing some fancy shoes and one of those shiny, fancy button down shirts and then start throwing money around. Keep your style understated and never mention money. It's got to be like it's an afterthought.

[radek2166]

Are U telling me that I have a chance to bang a real life chick? No more sheep?

[diebitter]

Pictorial Guide to dating/hitting on tarts (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=0&Number=4247798&an=&page=0&v c=1)

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
Step one is to post hands in OOT for critique. We can't help you if we can't see how you play. Always remember that pics are not only helpful, but essential.

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Is there a myspace convo to real life converter? Where's Bison when you need him?

http://www.f2f2s.com/images/bisonsignal.jpg

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Step one is to post hands in OOT for critique. We can't help you if we can't see how you play. Always remember that pics are not only helpful, but essential.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there a myspace convo to real life converter? Where's Bison when you need him?

http://www.f2f2s.com/images/bisonsignal.jpg

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This is 'real life'. You'd need a 'real life'>'myspace' converter first.

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Step one is to post hands in OOT for critique. We can't help you if we can't see how you play. Always remember that pics are not only helpful, but essential.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there a myspace convo to real life converter? Where's Bison when you need him?

http://www.f2f2s.com/images/bisonsignal.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

This is 'real life'. You'd need a 'real life'>'myspace' converter first.

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My life revolves around 1 thread, and 1 thread only.

[Blarg]

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Instead of working out, I suggest playing more poker and then stuffing your clothing with money to create the illusion of muscle.

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LOL good one.

[Ulysses]

Hiatus,

When you want to go bang chicks in Ohio or Illinois or Indiana or something, ask JV for clothing advice. For NYC, stick with advice from fags like TT.

[MonkeeMan]

ED,

Who'd of thunk that "fags" isn't censored? You da man.

Humbly,
B2L

[gorie]

this seems like a lot of unnecessary work. why not just walk up to a real life girl and simply say, "inside?" ?

[MyTurn2Raise]

brilliant

[HiatusOver]

"When you want to go bang chicks in Ohio or Illinois or Indiana or something, ask JV for clothing advice."

Very true, that mid-wester would never make it in this town.

[surfinillini]

the only thing I would suggest when you frequent these local "holes" is to not go solo which will look very serial killer-ish...a friend or two by your side never hurt...

[UncleSalty]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, IMO, Wanna be Big (http://www.wannabebig.com) and Fast Seduction 101 (http://www.fastseduction.com) are the 2p2s of their fields.

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I would add www.sosuave.net (http://www.sosuave.net) for a more well-rounded holistic approach to attracting women through self-improvement and self-focus.