Scary Bar Situation

I was debating posting this because I don't think I handled it in the best way possible. I'll give the results later.

So I'm in a bar in Metro Manila, Philippines 2 nights ago. At the table next to me is the hottest 17 year old ever. I'm only 19 so...

She looked like Jessica Alba. We start talking and her friend is actually helping me out. She shows me a picture of her boyfriend and I ask her if she thinks I'm much better looking than him - both of them agree.

We keep talking and drinking and I get her number. We leave the bar and we makeout real quick and then I get pulled violently to the ground.

I get up and some guy I didn't recognize (I soon realized it was her boyfriend) is yelling at me in a mixture of english and Tagalog. I get up real fast (it seemed fast), and throw/trip him to the ground in a fit of alcoholic rage. This is in front of a group of 5-7 people about 20 feet across from the bar so not in plain view.

Mind you, I haven't said I single thing yet but I have realized who it was.

He gets back up with this evil grin on his face, and reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a butterfly knife and loads it up... I'm 6'3 165 so I'm not very big. Villain is about 140 5'8. I don't have a lot of fight experience... none facing a deadly weapon and I'm in a third world country with someone who might also be in an alcoholic rage..

Your move if you were me?

Results to come.

Uhhh, at the very least back up slowly?

[diebitter]

RUN! or get stabbed. Either work.

He's about 5 feet away from me. The two girls are watching from the street corner.

[RiverTheNuts]

Take said Jessica Alba hostage and grab on her [censored] while you taunt the nutcase. At this point, pull out your 9 with your gloved hand, put it in Jessica's hand, and have her pull the trigger. Game Over

[CollinEstes]

Just ask yourself:

http://www.rrlicensing.com/store/catalog/images/Chuck%20Norris.jpg

"WHAT WOULD CHUCK NORRIS DO?"

[Gunny Highway]

Hide behind the girlfriend. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[TheMainEvent]

Did you think it was weird that she showed you a picture of her boyfriend?

Eventually you're gonna tell us what the "right answer" (read as: exactly what you did) is, so stop the stupid grandstanding and just edit your story to include an ending.

If this were a choose your own adventure, we'd be rooting for you to get cut up.

[turn to page 171]

You don't back up fast enough, and crazy knife-wielding Alpay guts you. You bleed out in an alley.

THE END

When we were talking, the conversation got to the point of BF/GFs. She asked me if I had one and I said no then I asked her and she showed me him on her cell phone.

We're outside the bar mind you when the fight broke out.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
RUN!

[/ QUOTE ]

running sounds pretty good.

[Diplomat]

I'm not sure how anything but wussing out can be considered an option.

-Diplomat

[ QUOTE ]
Eventually you're gonna tell us what the "right answer" (read as: exactly what you did) is, so stop the stupid grandstanding and just edit your story to include an ending.

If this were a choose your own adventure, we'd be rooting for you to get cut up.

[turn to page 171]

You don't back up fast enough, and crazy knife-wielding Alpay guts you. You bleed out in an alley.

THE END

[/ QUOTE ]

There are multiple right answers douchebag... But ones that can keep your pride intact unlike what I did..

[mostsmooth]

stall him until the cops show up?

if he charges you before they get there, side step him, wrap your shirt around his knife arm, grap his forearm and twist/snap it backwards at the elbow, he will fall to his knees, then you put your foot on his neck and press it to the ground while making out with his girlfriend.

[Gunny Highway]

[ QUOTE ]
There are multiple right answers douchebag... But ones that can keep your pride intact unlike what I did..

[/ QUOTE ]

You should reconsider your sources of self-esteem.

edit: also, why are you hanging out in Manila bars by yourself?

[CollinEstes]

[ QUOTE ]
stall him until the cops show up?

if he charges you before they get there, side step him, wrap your shirt around his knife arm, grap his forearm and twist/snap it backwards at the elbow, he will fall to his knees, then you put your foot on his neck and press it to the ground while making out with his girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]


This sounds like a move from "A History of Violence."

[Yeti]

Run like hell.

[ QUOTE ]
stall him until the cops show up?

if he charges you before they get there, side step him, wrap your shirt around his knife arm, grap his forearm and twist/snap it backwards at the elbow, he will fall to his knees, then you put your foot on his neck and press it to the ground while making out with his girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

This might be a good answer, except there are practically 0 cops in the Philippines. BUT... plenty of taxi cabs. I saw a line of like 3 of them coming in this direction. So I calmly hailed one got in and told him to drive..

Now the question is - Can I call this girl again and what do I say after wussing out like that?

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]

Now the question is - Can I call this girl again and what do I say after wussing out like that?

[/ QUOTE ]
this is a joke, right?

[MrWookie47]

Um, no? I think I'll pass on the option that leads to her boyfriend stabbing me in my sleep on page 204. Hit something else.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Now the question is - Can I call this girl again and what do I say after wussing out like that?

[/ QUOTE ]
this is a joke, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

Damnit.. This girl was so hot

[CollinEstes]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
stall him until the cops show up?

if he charges you before they get there, side step him, wrap your shirt around his knife arm, grap his forearm and twist/snap it backwards at the elbow, he will fall to his knees, then you put your foot on his neck and press it to the ground while making out with his girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

This might be a good answer, except there are practically 0 cops in the Philippines. BUT... plenty of taxi cabs. I saw a line of like 3 of them coming in this direction. So I calmly hailed one got in and told him to drive..

Now the question is - Can I call this girl again and what do I say after wussing out like that?

[/ QUOTE ]


How very anticlimactic.

[Ulysses]

Parliament,

Step towards him. As he goes for a strike, block his knife arm to the side, spin around, grab and turn his wrist aikido-style. He will drop the knife and go to the ground. Calmly pick up the knife and put it in your back pocket. He will most likely run at this point. If he attacks again, put him to the ground again and this time snap his arm. Take a long sweeping glance around the scene, briefly holding eye contact with anyone who dares stare. Find the girl and leave with her.

[Shajen]

Diablo,

Your advice as always is spot on. The only part I disagree with is "find the girl and leave with her", she'll be standing right next to him along with 5 of her equally hot friends.

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
She shows me a picture of her boyfriend and I ask her if she thinks I'm much better looking than him - both of them agree.

[/ QUOTE ]


way to break the ice with such a normal question


edit: although i guess wtf is one supposed to say when she shows you a picture of her boyfriend? regardless, your question seemed a bit bizarre

[Skip Brutale]

Ideally I would sprint away, but Im a slow sprinter and would probably get stab'ed in the back. So I would just try to back away facing him and prepare to give up an arm to the knife and try to grab it from him.

[Skip Brutale]

You plan to call her again? LOL

[Skip Brutale]

[ QUOTE ]
stall him until the cops show up?

if he charges you before they get there, side step him, wrap your shirt around his knife arm, grap his forearm and twist/snap it backwards at the elbow, he will fall to his knees, then you put your foot on his neck and press it to the ground while making out with his girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why dont you just do a big jump spinning kick that will KO him instead?

[IndieMatty]

Obviously the correct answer is to run home, post on a poker message board non stop, sleep and then. (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/dosearch.php?Cat=0&Searchpage=2&topic=) finally get to this story.

[Skip Brutale]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Eventually you're gonna tell us what the "right answer" (read as: exactly what you did) is, so stop the stupid grandstanding and just edit your story to include an ending.

If this were a choose your own adventure, we'd be rooting for you to get cut up.

[turn to page 171]

You don't back up fast enough, and crazy knife-wielding Alpay guts you. You bleed out in an alley.

THE END

[/ QUOTE ]

There are multiple right answers douchebag... But ones that can keep your pride intact unlike what I did..

[/ QUOTE ]

He is the one that didnt want to fight you straight up and had to use a weapon. That is the puss move. Maybe if he had 2 knives of equal size and gave you 1 of them you could make some argument that you wussed out, but knife fighting over nothing is stupid.

[Gunny Highway]

[ QUOTE ]
You plan to call her again? LOL

[/ QUOTE ]

That really was the funniest part of this whole thing. OP, please realize that if you call her again to get together, her boyfriend will probably show up as well.

[bwana devil]

[ QUOTE ]


Damnit.. This girl was so hot

[/ QUOTE ]

you really should have just saved all of this for a blog entry on your myspace acct.

bwana

[Gunny Highway]

[ QUOTE ]
you really should have just saved all of this for a blog entry on your myspace acct.

bwana

[/ QUOTE ]

Which one do you think he is? (http://search.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=find&circuitaction=search&sea rchType=network&interesttype=&country=&searchBy=Di splay&f_first_name=parliament&Submit=Find)

I think OP should call the girl and set up a date in a dark park somewhere with her.

And post a trip report.

[Skip Brutale]

This girl isnt a virgin anymore right? Parliament shouldnt you be off trying to get 15 year olds drunk so you can brag online about how you took a girl's virginity through statutory rape? I understand this girl is also underrage and you are also getting her drunk, but she isnt a virgin, what gives?

Drinking age is 16 here Skip. I'm not going to pursue it anymore but yea, next time I'll know how to defend myself better. It was just sad that I was so much bigger than the guy yet I couldn't get the balls to fight him because of the knife. The thought of being gutted wasn't very appealling.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Drinking age is 16 here Skip. I'm not going to pursue it anymore but yea, next time I'll know how to defend myself better. It was just sad that I was so much bigger than the guy yet I couldn't get the balls to fight him because of the knife. The thought of being gutted wasn't very appealling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wishing you had fought a guy with a knife who seems intending to use it isn't about not having balls. It's about not having brains.

[RiverTheNuts]

Call his bluff, he cant kill you with a knife, besides, its not like he had a gun, break his [censored] arm and then take it from him

[Skip Brutale]

[ QUOTE ]
Call his bluff, he cant kill you with a knife, besides, its not like he had a gun, break his [censored] arm and then take it from him

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, no one has ever died from being stabbed. Especially in a 3rd world country. Whenever I am attacked outside of a bar and have a knife drawn on me I figure the guy is bluffing.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Call his bluff, he cant kill you with a knife, besides, its not like he had a gun, break his [censored] arm and then take it from him

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, no one has ever died from being stabbed. Especially in a 3rd world country. Whenever I am attacked outside of a bar and have a knife drawn on me I figure the guy is bluffing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Anyone who's fought a lot have any type of predictions? I do have a good 8 inches on him... I'm just curious - I'm now pretty confident that saving my ass was the right move even if I was a 99% sure thing.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
Now the question is - Can I call this girl again and what do I say after wussing out like that?

[/ QUOTE ]

If you were smooth about getting in the cab and not all panicky, then you can probably pull this off. You should suggest meeting her somewhere her boyfriend won't be, other than that your options are pretty much wide-open.

[bwana devil]

[ QUOTE ]
he cant kill you with a knife

[/ QUOTE ]

somebody should tell nicole simpson.

bwana

[RiverTheNuts]

OJ simpson isnt 5'7 - 140
Nicole isnt 6'3 - 165

And OP was definately not sleeping...

8 inches of height easily makes up for 4 inches of steel.

Go for it.

[FishNChips]

[ QUOTE ]
It was just sad that I was so much bigger than the guy yet I couldn't get the balls to fight him because of the knife. The thought of being gutted wasn't very appealling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this the kind of thing they teach you at SC?

Ho has a boyfriend, you make out with her, he shows up, you sorta fight, he shows knife you FINALLY get a clue and leave a bad scene AND then you wonder what you could have done better? How about "no, I don't have GF, you have a BF? Oh, you do, too bad. Have a nice night." I don't give a [censored] how gorgeous she was.

You are an idiot.
Have a wonderful Christmas,
FishNChips

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Call his bluff, he cant kill you with a knife, besides, its not like he had a gun, break his [censored] arm and then take it from him

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, no one has ever died from being stabbed. Especially in a 3rd world country. Whenever I am attacked outside of a bar and have a knife drawn on me I figure the guy is bluffing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Anyone who's fought a lot have any type of predictions? I do have a good 8 inches on him... I'm just curious - I'm now pretty confident that saving my ass was the right move even if I was a 99% sure thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you get into a fight with a guy who's holding a knife, he's going to win, and you're going to lose. Losing a knife fight is a very bad idea.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It was just sad that I was so much bigger than the guy yet I couldn't get the balls to fight him because of the knife. The thought of being gutted wasn't very appealling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this the kind of thing they teach you at SC?

Ho has a boyfriend, you make out with her, he shows up, you sorta fight, he shows knife you FINALLY get a clue and leave a bad scene AND then you wonder what you could have done better? How about "no, I don't have GF, you have a BF? Oh, you do, too bad. Have a nice night." I don't give a [censored] how gorgeous she was.

You are an idiot.
Have a wonderful Christmas,
FishNChips

[/ QUOTE ]

So you've never hooked up with a girl before who's had a boyfriend? Or cheated on a girlfriend?

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Call his bluff, he cant kill you with a knife, besides, its not like he had a gun, break his [censored] arm and then take it from him

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, no one has ever died from being stabbed. Especially in a 3rd world country. Whenever I am attacked outside of a bar and have a knife drawn on me I figure the guy is bluffing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Anyone who's fought a lot have any type of predictions? I do have a good 8 inches on him... I'm just curious - I'm now pretty confident that saving my ass was the right move even if I was a 99% sure thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Since you have such a size advantage over him, you need to let him have a few courtesy stabs before you start fighting back. It's totally worth it to get stabbed over some strange chick you just met in a bar. Anything less is being a pussy.

[Gunny Highway]

[ QUOTE ]
So you've never hooked up with a girl before who's had a boyfriend? Or cheated on a girlfriend?

[/ QUOTE ]

Not when I'm alone in a bar in Manilla. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[bwana devil]

[ QUOTE ]
OJ simpson isnt 5'7 - 140
Nicole isnt 6'3 - 165

And OP was definately not sleeping...

[/ QUOTE ]

still not sure why you think one man couldnt kill the other w/ a knife. there's a fight. one gets stabbed and he dies.

youre telling some randon guy on the internet youve never met you believe his fighting skills are so good he can disarm an attacker after he's already been hit and disoriented and win the fight w/out sustaining a single blow just because he's 8 inches taller and 20 lbs heavier? ok.

also youre confident no one else from the crowd is going to jump in and assist?

bwana

[Vote4Pedro]

I'd break a bottle

or

http://www.celebritybattles.com/celeb_pics/karatekid.JPG

[CollinEstes]

Yeah I am sure that his chancing of surviving a stab wound in Manilla are really good since they have such great healthcare.

[FishNChips]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It was just sad that I was so much bigger than the guy yet I couldn't get the balls to fight him because of the knife. The thought of being gutted wasn't very appealling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this the kind of thing they teach you at SC?

Ho has a boyfriend, you make out with her, he shows up, you sorta fight, he shows knife you FINALLY get a clue and leave a bad scene AND then you wonder what you could have done better? How about "no, I don't have GF, you have a BF? Oh, you do, too bad. Have a nice night." I don't give a [censored] how gorgeous she was.

You are an idiot.
Have a wonderful Christmas,
FishNChips

[/ QUOTE ]

So you've never hooked up with a girl before who's had a boyfriend? Or cheated on a girlfriend?

[/ QUOTE ]

You are correct. I have never cheated on a GF or hit on a girl after knowing that she had a BF. And as a previous poster said, even if I had I would have the good sense to avoid that situation in a foreign country at a seedy bar.

Over/Under on your lifespan... 28

Best Wishes for a Happy Holiday Season,
FishNChips

He's 19?

I'll take the under. PM me.

[FishNChips]

Dear Yasher,

Before we establish the exact terms of this wager, I'm going to need to better understand the young man's travel plans for the next 10 years.

If OP were still debating if he should contact Jessica Alba's long lost sister I would have to adjust the over/under to "3 more days," but since he seems to have seen the error of his ways that is no longer valid.

If there were actually a way to verify his life/death I'd probably lay $5 on the over.

How about this:
what is the over/under on his banning from OOT? 3 weeks? 4 weeks?

Have a Happy and Profitable Holiday Season,
FishNChips

[bad beetz]

Easy.

When you're squared off with the dude with the knife, remove your shirt.

This will let him know that you are seriously getting ready to throw down. No one stabs you in a ring like this if you're "getting ready"

Next... and this is the key part, remove your shoes. This makes it looks like your some martial arts master, and buys you more time

finally, remove your pants and underwear. No one will stab a naked dude, it's just too weird. People will probably just slowly turn away.

Parliament, let me guess, this isn't the first time somebody wanted you dead, correct?

For what it's worth, leaving the scene of knife fight is always the smart thing.

[roundest]

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone who's fought a lot have any type of predictions? I do have a good 8 inches on him... I'm just curious - I'm now pretty confident that saving my ass was the right move even if I was a 99% sure thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

If this guy had any idea how to handle a knife, you probably would have been killed whether you knew how to fight or not. It sounds like you don't know how to fight. He would have gutted you like a pig.

[RiverTheNuts]

[ QUOTE ]
Easy.

When you're squared off with the dude with the knife, remove your shirt.

This will let him know that you are seriously getting ready to throw down. No one stabs you in a ring like this if you're "getting ready"

Next... and this is the key part, remove your shoes. This makes it looks like your some martial arts master, and buys you more time

finally, remove your pants and underwear. No one will stab a naked dude, it's just too weird. People will probably just slowly turn away.

[/ QUOTE ]

POTD... GENIUS

[BCPVP]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Call his bluff, he cant kill you with a knife, besides, its not like he had a gun, break his [censored] arm and then take it from him

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, no one has ever died from being stabbed. Especially in a 3rd world country. Whenever I am attacked outside of a bar and have a knife drawn on me I figure the guy is bluffing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Anyone who's fought a lot have any type of predictions? I do have a good 8 inches on him... I'm just curious - I'm now pretty confident that saving my ass was the right move even if I was a 99% sure thing.

[/ QUOTE ]
I would never fight a Filipino holding a knife unless I wanted to commit suicide. Kali/Escrima/Arnis comes from the Philipines, so they practically invented knife fighting. Your height doesn't mean [censored].

[Alobar]

hahah, best advice of the thread

Tai-Kwan Do or whatever comes from some part of Asia but it doesn't mean everyone in Asia knows it /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

You're correct though - Running away was the best move. I just hope there are other Jessica Alba look alikes without boyfriends out there.

[roundest]

When he pulls the knife, tell him you'll fight him but you need to go over the rules first. When he says there are no rules in a knife fight, kick him in the balls as hard as you can and say, "Well, if there aint' going to be any rules, let's get the fight started. Someone count. 1,2,3 go." After your new girlfriend yells out, "1,2,3, go!", knock him out with a doublefisted roundhouse punch.

[Gunny Highway]

[ QUOTE ]
I would never fight a Filipino holding a knife unless I wanted to commit suicide. Kali/Escrima/Arnis comes from the Philipines, so they practically invented knife fighting. Your height doesn't mean [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

I wouldn't fight anyone with a knife unless I had to. By the way, last time I was in the PI all they were doing was shooting at us. They couldn't shoot worth [censored].

[BCPVP]

[ QUOTE ]
Tai-Kwan Do or whatever comes from some part of Asia but it doesn't mean everyone in Asia knows it

[/ QUOTE ]
It's Tae Kwon Do and it's from Korea. And for your own health, when having knives pulled on you in the Phillipines, assume they know a little something.

[MonkeeMan]

Calmly state "never bring a knife to a gun fight" as you pull your 9mm out and fire a warning shot to his knee cap. Walk back in the bar and order a flaming 151. Leave a nice tip.

I tried to get a flaming 151 earlier from that bar but they didn't have it.. The strongest drink they had was BOMBAY SAPHIRE...

[ QUOTE ]
I tried to get a flaming 151 earlier from that bar but they didn't have it.. The strongest drink they had was BOMBAY SAPHIRE...

[/ QUOTE ]

People who run away from knife fights don't drink 151...

[Duke]

I think it depends if you're Guile or Ryu.

Guile: do the statue of liberty thing and he won't be able to touch you. Eventually he'll go away.

Ryu: throw him, since your throw creates distance and then you can run.

~D

[hhughes]

Very Butch(Cassidy)

[hhughes]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You plan to call her again? LOL

[/ QUOTE ]

That really was the funniest part of this whole thing. OP, please realize that if you call her again to get together, her boyfriend will probably show up as well.

[/ QUOTE ]

Go loaded heavy or dont go at all....

[shaniac]

My advise would be try to find a to diffuse the situation and bail out.

Looking forward to reading this thread though!

Step 1: Take the knofe away from said lunatic.

Step 2: SIIHP or as you would say "Take his anal v-card"

Step 3: Write the trip report

LLL

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
OJ simpson isnt 5'7 - 140
Nicole isnt 6'3 - 165

And OP was definately not sleeping...

[/ QUOTE ]
are you implying nicole was sleeping when she was murdered?

[trevor]

[ QUOTE ]
butterfly knife and loads it up

[/ QUOTE ]

How big a knife are we talking here?

[bwana devil]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
OJ simpson isnt 5'7 - 140
Nicole isnt 6'3 - 165

And OP was definately not sleeping...

[/ QUOTE ]
are you implying nicole was sleeping when she was murdered?

[/ QUOTE ]

i was just going to let that one go since it would be wierd hijack to get into that. but yeah, seems like that's what he's implying.

bwana

[EliteNinja]

Best thing to do is bail in that situation.
You're alone. He may have backup on top of having a knife.
You have no buddies to back you up.

First thing you learn in ninja school is that an unarmed expert at martial arts is still at a 2-to-1 disadvantage to a random dude with a knife.

But if you're trapped, go for the ol' broken beer bottle trick. Or do a flying roundhouse kick to his head.

[Ulysses]

beetz: The "take shirt off" move in that spot is pretty money indeed.

Parliament: Did you happen to have a machete or bowie knife or similar weapon on you at the time? If so, you should have said "That's not a knife! <pull out yours> THAT'S a knife!"

[ QUOTE ]
Or do a flying roundhouse kick to his head.

[/ QUOTE ]

If he is as flexible as I am, the best he can do is a flying roundhouse kick to the hips. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Edit: I just hurt myself trying to kick a little higher. Damn you, OOT!

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
OJ simpson isnt 5'7 - 140
Nicole isnt 6'3 - 165

And OP was definately not sleeping...

[/ QUOTE ]


this is beyond stupid. you're implying that because OP is a skinny guy who happens to be taller than his assailant that he can't get stabbed to death in the fight?

[man]

I know of a bouncer (working in the states) who had a knife pulled on him. the knifer was clearly nervous, so the bouncer did a karate stance (he didn't know karate) and said "all right, let's see what you got." dude dropped the knife and ran. I imagine something like this could work, but you never know with those crazy phillipenes.

[lastchance]

That was a much slicker move than I would have pulled off, while still being very intelligent.

To the people who think OP's a pussy: You're morans, and probably will die very, very soon.

[ QUOTE ]
I know of a bouncer (working in the states) who had a knife pulled on him. the knifer was clearly nervous, so the bouncer did a karate stance (he didn't know karate) and said "all right, let's see what you got." dude dropped the knife and ran. I imagine something like this could work, but you never know with those crazy phillipenes.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that is the right move if you have the gusto to pull it off.

[bad beetz]

1. Reach a hand up to one ear and look down and to the side. Say, "abort! Abort!" Then look confused. Say, "No, no... Wait! No, Thursday..... Pause.... wait... OK, chicken.. Well no wait. operation gopher meatball? No, ok, Thursday." (put your hand up as in "please hold on") continue your insanity on your mike until something interesting happens or it dissipates.

2. When he pulls his butterfly knife out, you make with the pantomime butterfly knife. Then pantomime every action he makes until you get stabbed, and then pantomime stabbing him too, which won’t actually hurt him, since you have a fictitious knife.

3. Grab an onlooker on either side and smash their heads together knocking both unconscious, then regain eye contact with short knife wielding dude…. See what happens. If nothing happens, go to plan 1.

4. Poo and fling it at him. If you score a hit, you should run because he will stab you. You could also drop trow and just start pooing. This will make it too weird to stab you.

5. Run up and grab his hand and force the knife into some non-lethal part of your body. This will freak him out… Say, “finish me….. …. …. FINISH ME!!!!!!!!” And he will run away. This will actually work I feel sure of it!

6. He started speaking some other language? You start speaking another language. Booyah! what’s up now, little philipino dude? You gonna stab a dude that speaks Japanese? HAHAHHAHAHA, oh [censored], yes you are.

7. Make out with a nearby dude. This will make him confused about the fact that you were making out with his girl. Tell him you thought his girl was a dude. Reach for his girls crotch to verify.

8. Pantomime “stuck behind an invisible wall”

9. Say, I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry. Then breakdance. If you can do the moonwalk, then do it. Because it’s like backing up, but better because no one REALIZES you’re backing up.

Ahahhahaha - My stomach actually hurts but that could be from the food poisoning too. Wow - the first 1 reminds me of an episode of hey arnold I saw a long time ago.

You owe me a new monitor. I woke my wife and kids up with my laughing!

[man]

beetz, that was amazing. there should be a rewards system for awesome posts like this.

This brought images to mind of the self-beating-up in Fight Club. Nice post.

[Godfather80]

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This brought images to mind of the self-beating-up in Fight Club. Nice post.

[/ QUOTE ]

Honestly, I'd run. But, if that wasn't an option, then really beating yourself up is the next best thing. Remember, he might not believe you if you just slug yourself in the gut, but if you punch yourself hard in the face and are spitting blood, he's gonna be pretty put out.

[DMBFan23]

shoot him in the dick?

[chesspain]

I'm surprised you didn't get his V-card.

yeah man call the girl

she probably broke up with him that night.... if not he aint gonna find out.

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
1. Reach a hand up to one ear and look down and to the side. Say, "abort! Abort!" Then look confused. Say, "No, no... Wait! No, Thursday..... Pause.... wait... OK, chicken.. Well no wait. operation gopher meatball? No, ok, Thursday." (put your hand up as in "please hold on") continue your insanity on your mike until something interesting happens or it dissipates.

2. When he pulls his butterfly knife out, you make with the pantomime butterfly knife. Then pantomime every action he makes until you get stabbed, and then pantomime stabbing him too, which won’t actually hurt him, since you have a fictitious knife.

3. Grab an onlooker on either side and smash their heads together knocking both unconscious, then regain eye contact with short knife wielding dude…. See what happens. If nothing happens, go to plan 1.

4. Poo and fling it at him. If you score a hit, you should run because he will stab you. You could also drop trow and just start pooing. This will make it too weird to stab you.

5. Run up and grab his hand and force the knife into some non-lethal part of your body. This will freak him out… Say, “finish me….. …. …. FINISH ME!!!!!!!!” And he will run away. This will actually work I feel sure of it!

6. He started speaking some other language? You start speaking another language. Booyah! what’s up now, little philipino dude? You gonna stab a dude that speaks Japanese? HAHAHHAHAHA, oh [censored], yes you are.

7. Make out with a nearby dude. This will make him confused about the fact that you were making out with his girl. Tell him you thought his girl was a dude. Reach for his girls crotch to verify.

8. Pantomime “stuck behind an invisible wall”

9. Say, I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry. Then breakdance. If you can do the moonwalk, then do it. Because it’s like backing up, but better because no one REALIZES you’re backing up.

[/ QUOTE ]

POTY

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
1. Reach a hand up to one ear and look down and to the side. Say, "abort! Abort!" Then look confused. Say, "No, no... Wait! No, Thursday..... Pause.... wait... OK, chicken.. Well no wait. operation gopher meatball? No, ok, Thursday." (put your hand up as in "please hold on") continue your insanity on your mike until something interesting happens or it dissipates.

2. When he pulls his butterfly knife out, you make with the pantomime butterfly knife. Then pantomime every action he makes until you get stabbed, and then pantomime stabbing him too, which won’t actually hurt him, since you have a fictitious knife.

3. Grab an onlooker on either side and smash their heads together knocking both unconscious, then regain eye contact with short knife wielding dude…. See what happens. If nothing happens, go to plan 1.

4. Poo and fling it at him. If you score a hit, you should run because he will stab you. You could also drop trow and just start pooing. This will make it too weird to stab you.

5. Run up and grab his hand and force the knife into some non-lethal part of your body. This will freak him out… Say, “finish me….. …. …. FINISH ME!!!!!!!!” And he will run away. This will actually work I feel sure of it!

6. He started speaking some other language? You start speaking another language. Booyah! what’s up now, little philipino dude? You gonna stab a dude that speaks Japanese? HAHAHHAHAHA, oh [censored], yes you are.

7. Make out with a nearby dude. This will make him confused about the fact that you were making out with his girl. Tell him you thought his girl was a dude. Reach for his girls crotch to verify.

8. Pantomime “stuck behind an invisible wall”

9. Say, I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry. Then breakdance. If you can do the moonwalk, then do it. Because it’s like backing up, but better because no one REALIZES you’re backing up.

[/ QUOTE ]


Wow, that is the meaning of LMAO

[BCPVP]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
butterfly knife and loads it up

[/ QUOTE ]

How big a knife are we talking here?

[/ QUOTE ]
http://www.newgraham.com/images/42_MC_LARGE.jpg

I'm thinking he just meant to scare OP since he actually brandished the knife. If he really meant to stab OP, he probably would have got into a fight and then pull the knife where OP can't see it. It's still a good idea to back off when you have a knife pulled on you unless you're carrying.

Either way, I'm still running like a bitch.

[Blarg]

Rush anyone reaching into a pocket because it's a death sentence if he gets there.

Once it's out, if you have room to run before he can get a stab in on your back, do it. Better he laughs at your "cowardly" ass than that you wind up dead or disfigured. If I were that dude with a knife getting out-angled by a pretty boy, I'd go for the face, by the way. That'd put you right back down here with the rest of us. And solve the problem with the girlfriend at the same time.

Note: I'm not that guy and never would be.

This sounds like a set-up with the chick, by the way. What did you do, walk out the door and start sucking her face right away? If you were jumped as soon as you made an appearance, she had every reason to suspect he might be around, and probably wanted to be fought over. If not, she's pretty dumb. If so, she's even more dumb. You lose both ways.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
stall him until the cops show up?

if he charges you before they get there, side step him, wrap your shirt around his knife arm, grap his forearm and twist/snap it backwards at the elbow, he will fall to his knees, then you put your foot on his neck and press it to the ground while making out with his girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

If there aren't sharks with lasers in here somewhere, try to move the fight to the water so you can enlist their aid.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Drinking age is 16 here Skip. I'm not going to pursue it anymore but yea, next time I'll know how to defend myself better. It was just sad that I was so much bigger than the guy yet I couldn't get the balls to fight him because of the knife. The thought of being gutted wasn't very appealling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wishing you had fought a guy with a knife who seems intending to use it isn't about not having balls. It's about not having brains.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good review, diebitter.

I think we should start applying our movie ranking stars to situations like this.

[Blarg]

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Call his bluff, he cant kill you with a knife, besides, its not like he had a gun, break his [censored] arm and then take it from him

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, no one has ever died from being stabbed. Especially in a 3rd world country. Whenever I am attacked outside of a bar and have a knife drawn on me I figure the guy is bluffing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Anyone who's fought a lot have any type of predictions? I do have a good 8 inches on him... I'm just curious - I'm now pretty confident that saving my ass was the right move even if I was a 99% sure thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Since you have such a size advantage over him, you need to let him have a few courtesy stabs before you start fighting back. It's totally worth it to get stabbed over some strange chick you just met in a bar. Anything less is being a pussy.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah I am sure that his chancing of surviving a stab wound in Manilla are really good since they have such great healthcare.

[/ QUOTE ]

And since Filipinos are not known for their knife fighting.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Easy.

When you're squared off with the dude with the knife, remove your shirt.

This will let him know that you are seriously getting ready to throw down. No one stabs you in a ring like this if you're "getting ready"

Next... and this is the key part, remove your shoes. This makes it looks like your some martial arts master, and buys you more time

finally, remove your pants and underwear. No one will stab a naked dude, it's just too weird. People will probably just slowly turn away.

[/ QUOTE ]

This thread is turning into a good one.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Tai-Kwan Do or whatever comes from some part of Asia but it doesn't mean everyone in Asia knows it /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

You're correct though - Running away was the best move. I just hope there are other Jessica Alba look alikes without boyfriends out there.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong. Knives are cultural there in a way much greater than say boxing or wrestling is cultural here. In Guam I got threatened by Filipinos with knives many times even as a young kid, and pretty much every Filipino carried one. Think of the likelihood of a Filipino back in his homeland having a clue to how to knife fight more like the chance of an American having played basketball, football, or baseball.

And compound that with the fact that even a guy who isn't good with a knife doesn't really have to be. He just has to have the knife.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Easy.

When you're squared off with the dude with the knife, remove your shirt.

This will let him know that you are seriously getting ready to throw down. No one stabs you in a ring like this if you're "getting ready"

Next... and this is the key part, remove your shoes. This makes it looks like your some martial arts master, and buys you more time

finally, remove your pants and underwear. No one will stab a naked dude, it's just too weird. People will probably just slowly turn away.

[/ QUOTE ]

This thread is turning into a good one.

[/ QUOTE ]

keep going to B.B.'s other posts here. It turns awesome /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
butterfly knife and loads it up

[/ QUOTE ]

How big a knife are we talking here?

[/ QUOTE ]
http://www.newgraham.com/images/42_MC_LARGE.jpg

I'm thinking he just meant to scare OP since he actually brandished the knife. If he really meant to stab OP, he probably would have got into a fight and then pull the knife where OP can't see it. It's still a good idea to back off when you have a knife pulled on you unless you're carrying.

[/ QUOTE ]
thats not very big, the blade is smaller than my thumb.
also, that knife doesnt look anything like a butterfly.

[BCPVP]

[ QUOTE ]
thats not very big, the blade is smaller than my thumb.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's probably not life-size, but it's not that much longer. It's a concealed weapon. It's not supposed to be a claymore you strap to your back.

[ QUOTE ]
also, that knife doesnt look anything like a butterfly.

[/ QUOTE ]
I believe it's named that for the way it looks when you're twirling it open and shut. There's videos all over if you look hard enough

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]

I believe it's named that for the way it looks when you're twirling it open and shut. There's videos all over if you look hard enough

[/ QUOTE ]
if theyre all over, why would i have to look hard?

[BCPVP]

I don't know. Here's some: http://balisong.theasylum.org/

[Blarg]

They're illegal now in a lot of places. Stupid gov't. One day it will be illegal to have hands.

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
They're illegal now in a lot of places. Stupid gov't. One day it will be illegal to have hands.

[/ QUOTE ]theres already a bill getting passed to regulate the length/sharpness of fingernails.

[rory]

kick his ass like a total badass and wake up with your spiderman sheets all touseled up. you're a real superhero now

[college kid]

I think he at least has the sense to get out when the knife shows up. I'd take the over easily, and in fact, I am so confident, I'd take it at -125. I won't give more than that, but I think he can make it way past 28.

[Martin]

[ QUOTE ]
If I were that dude with a knife getting out-angled by a pretty boy, I'd go for the face, by the way.

[/ QUOTE ]

There is a commonly used S cut. Imagine a quick s movement performed infront of your face. It starts on the right hand side slicing across the forehead causing blood to flow into the eyes, then the blade turns and travels diagonally taking out the left eye followed by cutting a piece off the nose and upper lip, it then makes another turn and ends on your chin. If your lucky he leaves you like this, I'm sure plastic surgery is great there, if your unlucky he finishes by stabbing you a few times and leaves you to bleed out. With the blood loss / trauma coupled with the lack of emergency services you don't have much chance.

So best case you are disfigured and blinded, worst case you die slowly and painfully! Evaluate this situation and see if it's worth it for some random bar tart?