Older Women

[MrWookie47]

I met this girl at the jazz club last weekend. I think we had been introduced before, but we hadn't talked any. She seemed pretty cool, though, and she was cute enough, so I got her number. When she was giving it to me, she said something about, "Wow, I haven't written my number on a bar napkin in like 10 years." That was a little unexpected. I made her for about my age (a week short of 24), so I mostly wrote it off as humorous exaggeration (but also cautiously noted that if this girl hasn't had a date in a while, she may very well be crazy). I ran into her again last night. We chatted over a couple beers (she appreciates good beer - big bonus points) and really hit it off. I was watching her this time, though, for clues as to her real age. It was weird. Sometimes she'd look at me and she'd look like she was 21. And then a little bit later she'd change her demeanor in a manner that made her look more like 35. Finally, though, she comes out and asks me how old I am, and I find out that she's 31. That puts me within her range if we apply the "half your age plus 7" rule to her, but I'm still not sure how weird this is/would be.

So, I've decided to turn to OOT (may God have mercy on my soul /images/graemlins/smile.gif ). How much older have women been that guys here have dated (or younger men, if you're gorie)? How much older would you be willing to go? What about for a one night stand (either have done, or would do)? Are there any attributes that you'd require an older woman to have above and beyond your criteria for girls your age before you'd consider getting involved with her? Any other misc. thoughts?

If she's anything like the 34 yr. old I dated, you'll learn a lot about sex. She have kids?

ScottieK

Edit: LOL I see others agree. Hell yes! *high fives all around*

[Shajen]

YOU GET ALL CAPS CAUSE IT'S THAT IMPORTANT.

YOU MUST HIT THAT [censored], REPEATEDLY. SHE HAS THE BODY OF A YOUNG WOMAN STILL WITH EXPERIENCE AND KNOWLEDGE. THIS WILL BE GOOD.


(ok, now I'll read the op.)

[slickpoppa]

Older women are much better in the sack. I went out with a 26 year old when I was 21 and I think she ditched me primarily because I was so much younger than her. I personally would have no problem dating an older woman, but I bet she would have a problem seriously dating you. With that said, I bet she will be willing to bang you. I'd say go for it and see what happens

[Shajen]

ok, I just now read the op.

Older women are more experienced in most facets of life. They know what they want and don't usually play games. If this is a [censored] buddy scenario, sit back and enjoy. I don't know that I'd seriously date a women 10 years older than me, but screw? Hell yeah.

[man]

the only problem I can forsee is her getting tired of dating and wanting to settle down with someone. and then there's the "well why is she still single?" thing. but if you don't take it too seriously I don't see it being a problem.

[MrWookie47]

Nope, I'm 90% sure she has no kids. Never married, I think.

[bernie]

Older gals rock!

http://www.diane-lane.org/gallery/albums/uknown_sessions/normal_diane_uknownphotoshoot-060.jpg

http://www.diane-lane.org/gallery/albums/photographers/normal_diane_photoshoots-00187.jpg

b

[DMBFan23]

Wookie,

I'm basically your age, just turned 24. here's a long but slightly amusing trip report of my last one nighter with an older woman.

from the "dickest move" thread (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=exchange&Number=4131102&S earchpage=1&Main=4130370&Words=dick++DMBFan23&topi c=&Search=true#Post4131102)

older women don't [censored] around, and they know what they want. it's kind of cool

[Hornacek]

[ QUOTE ]
Older gals rock!

http://www.diane-lane.org/gallery/albums/uknown_sessions/normal_diane_uknownphotoshoot-060.jpg

http://www.diane-lane.org/gallery/albums/photographers/normal_diane_photoshoots-00187.jpg

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Diane Lane... drool

[Blarg]

My thought is you should care somewhat less about what OOT thinks. Sure, starting with me is okay.

Seriously, have fun. Screw rules. And chicks. If she's hot enough for you, cool. If she's cool enough for you, cool. What's gonna kill it is thinking it all up and getting all kinds of ideas that mess it up.

I will give two words of warning: biological clock. Oh, and three more: tick tick tick.

But older women are often happy to bang younger guys and can teach you a lot about basically everything. Less obnoxious than young ones usually, too. More fun to be with, if personality matters to you. Enjoy yourself.

[ QUOTE ]
Nope, I'm 90% sure she has no kids. Never married, I think.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds good. In my case, she has two kids. We dated for a while, had great sex, but I broke it off...got the feeling she was looking for a daddy figure, and those kids are out of control. Found out she was just looking to get laid 'cause we were [censored] buddies for a while. We still keep in touch.

In my friend's case, he dated an older woman who he had been friends with for a while. She doesn't have kids, but after a while he got the feeling her bio clock was ticking and broke it off. They had great sex too.

So, you're in luck, lad. Sounds like all upside for you. Definitely go for it.

ScottieK

[imported_The Vibesman]

My girlfriend is 9 years older than me, we've been dating for the last ten years, since I was 20.

If you're compatible and have fun together, that's all that matters.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
But older women are often happy to bang younger guys and can teach you a lot about basically everything. Less obnoxious than young ones usually, too. More fun to be with, if personality matters to you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree. However, the older, screwed up gals are really a mess to deal with. They can be worse than the younger ones in many ways. They've had more time to accumulate baggage. Watch for the signs.

b

[THATWACOKID]

i'm 19 and recently started dating a 24 year old. as others have already pointed out, older women know how to [censored]. it's kinda weird though because i don't consider myself to be very mature.

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
i'm 19 and recently started dating a 24 year old. as others have already pointed out, older women know how to [censored]. it's kinda weird though because i don't consider myself to be very mature.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's ok because, at 24, she doesn't really qualify as an "older woman" in the real spirit of the phrase, anyway.

[LearnedfromTV]

Don't post much here but this one's in my wheelhouse. I'm 25, my girlfriend of over a year is 30 (but looks about my age. She gets carded more than I do). Second time I've dated an older woman (21/27), though this one is much more serious.

If you're into this for sex, my experience is that the stereotype is true. Knock yourself out, but bring it, or don't be surprised if she gets tired of you.

If it gets serious, there are plusses and minuses. For me, way more plusses, but you may be different. My girl is one of the smartest I've ever known, and is very successful. I have more to talk about with her than the average girl my age or younger, and some of that has to do with age/experience. We have similar life goals. (She also digs the game we shall not mention.) The flip side is that there's no denying I'm an adult now. The biological clock is real, even if she doesn't want it to be, there's a built-in family-making horizon that you have to deal with.

You asked what you'd expect out of an older women before you'd date her (I assume you mean date seriously when you ask this). Don't think of it that way, just find out if you enjoy being with her. The only thing I'd "expect" is that she has done something worthwhile/learned something worthwhile from the extra years she's been alive. But that would apply just as much if you were both 31.

Hope this helps

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But older women are often happy to bang younger guys and can teach you a lot about basically everything. Less obnoxious than young ones usually, too. More fun to be with, if personality matters to you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree. However, the older, screwed up gals are really a mess to deal with. They can be worse than the younger ones in many ways. They've had more time to accumulate baggage. Watch for the signs.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh yeah. There are ones that are hating the world and blaming any and all men for their inability to get a man or be in any way happy. They're poison. But usually you can see those coming and wouldn't be asking them out anyway.

[MrWookie47]

I agree, but considering how much maturing people do through college, there's still a fair bit of maturity difference between someone who's just started college and someone who's just started a career.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
But usually you can see those coming and wouldn't be asking them out anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

Remember this is OOT. Some wouldn't see it coming if there was a parade preceding it.

b

[Blarg]

heheh

[4_2_it]

30 is the age where women figure out what they want. If she wants a date, it is guaranteed to have a happy ending for you unless you either 1) puke all over her or 2) show her this thread.

me 28, her 39.
she was divorced, with issues. lasted a couple months. the sex was not great.

[ChipWrecked]

I haven't read one reply yet. But I am telling you, you are a lucky, lucky, man. The worm is about to turn for you, bro.

I have gone +20 years. And I was 30 at the time.

[MrWookie47]

Good post, LFTV. Could you perhaps expand your thoughts on the biological clock thing?

As for the comments about the crazy ones, believe me, I'm always watching out for them. I've had way too many experiences with crazy girls to know to always be cautious, especially if they say anything about not having been dating in a while. I've been pleasantly surprised with how sane this girl appears to be, however. Things can change in a flash, but so far so good.

[samjjones]

24/31 is not that big a deal. I'm assuming you are emotionally mature enough to pursue a relationship with a woman with more life experience. So if you both dig each other, go for it.

[Evan]

[ QUOTE ]
Wookie,

I'm basically your age, just turned 24. here's a long but slightly amusing trip report of my last one nighter with an older woman.

from the "dickest move" thread (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=exchange&Number=4131102&S earchpage=1&Main=4130370&Words=dick++DMBFan23&topi c=&Search=true#Post4131102)

older women don't [censored] around, and they know what they want. it's kind of cool

[/ QUOTE ]
Great sotry, I missed it the first time around. Thanks for the link.

[bernie]

This thread needed some pics...

b

[jba]

My last gf was an older woman (23-34) who was pretty terrible in the sack. small sample size I guess. she was also really really boring.

She was telling me a story one day, something really boring about her in a grocery store when she was a little kid and mentioned something like "and of course this was before they had bar codes", and I was like, wow, you're old. And you're terrible in the sack. So I said listen lady it's the 21st century, bar codes are as standard as BJ's so get to work or I'm out of here. The only time she ever gave me head is the first time I broke up with her and she was trying to talk me out of it. So I'm sort of a dick too.

[Blarg]

This was a very funny story.

[Martin]

Just date her you won't regret it. In your case the age difference is minimal. Age is a relative thing anyway it's all about what's inside, upstairs in the brains department and finally how tight the bod still is /images/graemlins/smile.gif. Older chicks are on the whole way less screwed up than young girls.

[codewarrior]

Reply to all twentysomethings in this thread:

If you are in your twenties, and she is in her twenties, she is not "an older woman".

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Reply to all twentysomethings in this thread:

If you are in your twenties, and she is in her twenties, she is not "an older woman".

[/ QUOTE ]

this isn't true

b

[LearnedfromTV]

[ QUOTE ]
Good post, LFTV. Could you perhaps expand your thoughts on the biological clock thing?


[/ QUOTE ]

Pretend you are a thirty-year old woman who wants to have a family (i.e. two or three kids) "someday." You aren't really aching to have them NOW because -

There's a lot of fun stuff that is easier to do when you don't have kids (go out, travel, etc.)

You have a boyfriend/fiancee-to-be who you'd like to spend a few years with alone before you have kids (and he'd like that too).

You have a career that would go much more smoothly if you worked your ass off for ten years, and then had kids.

But doing all this means you don't start having kids until you're 40. Not impossible, but not ideal either, a lot of things can go wrong if you wait too long, plus you'll be like 65 by the time the last one leaves the house, etc.

A lot of single late 20's/early 30's career women face this kind of issue. And if you're the guy who's 24 and in a perfect world would wait ten years to have kids, well, something has to give. There's no perfect solution, it just is what it is.

I married an older woman and dated another before that, so I feel pretty competent to answer /images/graemlins/smile.gif.

As with poker, it depends. She's likely looking at any candidate as one-night or long term. I say that because as people get older they don't want to waste a few months on someone with no long term potential.

The fact she isn't married yet or was divorced a few years ago may not mean much. She might not have felt ready to settle herself until recently. Studies have shown early 30's is the point at which people mentally start shifting from adolescent(self-oriented) to more adult behavior patterns.

Biological clock is definitely an issue. If she wants kids, don't waste anyone's time if you don't (or vice versa). If she already has kids, the clock isn't an issue, but I can tell you from experience, being a good step father is very, very hard. All of the responsibility, little authority, and your entire family you've banked your life around is gone to dust if you split up in the future. You also owe it to the kid(s) to take it seriously if you start to date. A "hit it now, worry later" mentality borders on cruelty to kids whose lives have already been thrown for a loop so early.

Beyond those words of advice/warning, I'm all for it. Older women (people in general) are more confident, which is sexy, more outgoing, and play fewer mind/relationship games.

I have always been more comfortable around people 5-10 years older than myself, from the time I was pre-teen even, so the fact I fell in love with an older woman was no shock to me.

I just want to say that its fantastic when I hit refresh and the forum list shows:

Older Women
Buying in Bulk


right in a row..

Ray

[LearnedfromTV]

[ QUOTE ]
Reply to all twentysomethings in this thread:

If you are in your twenties, and she is in her twenties, she is not "an older woman".

[/ QUOTE ]

Well you can argue semantics if you like, but for people in their twenties, the woman being five-seven years older is a different dynamic than usual. 25/45 is different still, no doubt.

[ChipWrecked]

Trip report?

[FeliciaLee]

I've dated younger guys. My rule of thumb is that they have to be good in bed (or trainable) and keep their frigging mouths shut.

If they can do both, winna-winna chicken dinna.

Not many can.

I married one who could.

[FeliciaLee]

[ QUOTE ]
This thread needed some pics...

b

[/ QUOTE ]
Your wish is my command.

My best pic. I think I was 32/33. Obviously before boob cancer, lol /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

http://www.frontiernet.net/~bagsmode/Fel0501.jpg

[mrkilla]

Dateing older women rocks on so many levels...there much better then younger chicks in the sack, they ask for what they want and they know how to treat a man.

Younger chicks look nice but most times its like screwing a 2 x 4....