Girl Help

[Farfenugen]

I have an issue with a girl and was hoping to illicit the advice of the ever-wise OOT forum.

I work at a private boarding school as an RA for the dormitories. There is a fellow female RA that I really dig. We'll call her Becky. We flirt a bit throughout the semester but I don't really make any moves. She is generally receptive to the point where I don't know if she likes me but I know she doesn't hate me. We have some stuff in common as we are the only RAs that party much.


Monday night we had a Christmas party for all the RA's. At this party she invites me out to go bar hopping later that night with some friends. She also invited the other RAs, but they politely refused. I had already made plans to hang with my buds and watch the basketball game at a local bar so I tell her to make a round there and we'll share some drinks. The party ends around 8:00 and we part ways with the intention of meeting up later.

Jump to two hours later and I'm just sitting with my friends at the bar when Becky and her friends come stumbling in. They are lit up, especially Becky. She sits down next to us, I introduce her to my friends, and we drink until close. She is especially touchy-feely with me. At closing time she declares, "I want [Farfenugen]to come with us!" So I hop in the car with her friends and we drive off to her place. On the ride home she asks her roommate if she has any condoms.

When we get there Becky gets ready for bed and wants me to "just cuddle with her." So I make up my mind right there, I want to date this girl, the smooth move would be to cuddle and get close, maybe kiss, but don't take it too far. That would make things real awkward. It took 15 minutes before my resolve broke and we messed around. We didn't have sex but we fooled around for a while before she straight up passed out.

The next day, feeling like a moron, I left early in the morning. Bad move maybe, might have made her feel like a whore. I just went over to the dorm to drop something off and she could barely look me in the eyes.

What is my line? How do I salvage this?

My thought is to get her e-mail address and shoot her off an e-mail saying how I feel. Is this too impersonal? Winter break is coming up and I won't have an opportunity to speak to her face to face for two weeks.

[sublime]

"I want [Farfenugen]to come with us!" So I hop in the car with her friends and we drive off to her place. On the ride home she asks her roommate if she has any condoms.

the smooth move would be to cuddle and get close, maybe kiss, but don't take it too far.

http://sc.tri-bit.com/images/f/f5/adu.sized.jpg

[sublime]

tell her that you have liked her for a while and would like to hang out with her again. see what shes says.

jesus, if you assholes had to deal with the problems i have your litte brains would explode!

Salvage what? You are in the drivers seat. You know she likes you and likes to f**k. What more do you need?

[moose47]

Get her drunk again and finish what you started.

[sublime]

[ QUOTE ]
Get her drunk again and finish what you started.

[/ QUOTE ]

yes, the next step is to dry hump her leg after you overhear her ask her roomate if she has any KY.

[Farfenugen]

For wanting a relationship with this girl instead of [censored] her so that any chance of that or a friendship is nil?

Yeah, she asked about condoms. She was smashed though. In my experience screwing a girl when she is drunk makes her feel like a whore/she was taken advantage of, which nixes any chance of a relationship. My goal was a relationship, not a cheap [censored]. I could get that from a number of the drunk sororostitutes at the bar.

[Ken_AA]

OK, so you got drunk and then things got messy.........

As Homer said, alcohol the cause of, and solution too all of lifes problems"

get her drunk again, but this time spill your guts that you like her and then you'll get laid and a girlfriend..... or run after the laid part, your call.

Ken

[ QUOTE ]
For wanting a relationship with this girl instead of [censored] her so that any chance of that or a friendship is nil?

Yeah, she asked about condoms. She was smashed though. In my experience screwing a girl when she is drunk makes her feel like a whore/she was taken advantage of, which nixes any chance of a relationship. My goal was a relationship, not a cheap [censored]. I could get that from a number of the drunk sororostitutes at the bar.

[/ QUOTE ]
I want a relationship, Waaaaaaa, Waaaaaa, Waaaaa. Mama's boy.

[sublime]

[ QUOTE ]
For wanting a relationship with this girl instead of [censored] her so that any chance of that or a friendship is nil?

Yeah, she asked about condoms. She was smashed though. In my experience screwing a girl when she is drunk makes her feel like a whore/she was taken advantage of, which nixes any chance of a relationship. My goal was a relationship, not a cheap [censored]. I could get that from a number of the drunk sororostitutes at the bar.

[/ QUOTE ]

dude, she wanted to [censored] you and i imagine shes old enough to make those decisions. guys get all [censored] up in the head when they put chicks on a pedistal like this. and then kill themselves when they come home one day and jamal hunglow from the hoops team is horsing their little becky while watching BET.

of course you can have a relationship with her! its apparent she is into you, so thats out of the way. ask her if she wants to hang out the next time you see her. no wait, GO see her.

You had all [censored] year to start a relationship with her without the help of alcohol. You failed, and when alcohol comes to rescue you, you don't want it? You [censored] ingrate.

[leehrat]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
For wanting a relationship with this girl instead of [censored] her so that any chance of that or a friendship is nil?

Yeah, she asked about condoms. She was smashed though. In my experience screwing a girl when she is drunk makes her feel like a whore/she was taken advantage of, which nixes any chance of a relationship. My goal was a relationship, not a cheap [censored]. I could get that from a number of the drunk sororostitutes at the bar.

[/ QUOTE ]

dude, she wanted to [censored] you and i imagine shes old enough to make those decisions. guys get all [censored] up in the head when they put chicks on a pedistal like this. and then kill themselves when they come home one day and jamal hunglow from the hoops team is horsing their little becky while watching BET.

of course you can have a relationship with her! its apparent she is into you, so thats out of the way. ask her if she wants to hang out the next time you see her. no wait, GO see her.

[/ QUOTE ]

priceless advice sublime. well said.

[diebitter]

Yes, sublime has been right every time here.

sheeesh. This post. Talk about going from the ridiculous to the sublime.

[mic_check12]

I love this post

[cjmewett]

[ QUOTE ]
You had all [censored] year to start a relationship with her without the help of alcohol. You failed, and when alcohol comes to rescue you, you don't want it? You [censored] ingrate.

[/ QUOTE ]I /images/graemlins/heart.gif this post.

[FoxwoodsFiend]

[ QUOTE ]
In my experience screwing a girl when she is drunk makes her feel like a whore/she was taken advantage of, which nixes any chance of a relationship.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is only true if you are sober when she is drunk. If you are both drunk, it can lead somewhere.

[FoxwoodsFiend]

[ QUOTE ]
You had all [censored] year to start a relationship with her without the help of alcohol. You failed, and when alcohol comes to rescue you, you don't want it? You [censored] ingrate.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is genius.

[Alobar]

I dunno if sublime has a 156 IQ, but his advice here is really smart. Read all his posts again, then quit wasting time reading this thread and take care of business

oh, and for god's sake dont email her

[TripleH68]

Aren't you guys being a little hard on the OP?
The best play after sleeping with a girl you like is obviously leaving early in the morning and then sending her an email detailing how you feel. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Sublime you are cracking me up.

[sublime]

[ QUOTE ]
I dunno if sublime has a 156 IQ,

[/ QUOTE ]

no, but i do have a 10 inch penis. surprisingly, i cant cook /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[diebitter]

On a scale of 1-10, which 10 being the most lame boy/girl move in human history, how lame are the OP's moves?

tl;dr


EDIT: Just read, YSSCKY

[lastchance]

[ QUOTE ]


Think of yourself like this:
http://medix.marshall.edu/~hensle16/EmailStuff/Self-confidence.jpg

then you might end up like this:
http://www.fischeroutdoor.com/Images/africa%20lion%20sex.JPG

Instead of being like this:
http://www.willweber.net/2003-07/cat.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

[Alobar]

sadly, his moves are par for the course for like 90% of guys.

[Cunning Linguist]

sadly for who? not the other 10%

[rusellmj]

[ QUOTE ]


The next day, feeling like a moron, I left early in the morning. Bad move maybe, might have made her feel like a whore.

What is my line?

[/ QUOTE ]

My line here has always been to hit it hard. Then leave a note before I depart in the morning letting her know I enjoyed the time with her and look forward to seeing her again (if the latter applies). Blah Blah Blah.

This does a couple things. Let's them know where I stand on the previous nights activities. They tend to meet me by looking me in the eye with a smile the next time I see them.

[uw_madtown]

Damnit, I misread the poll. Change my 3 to an 8.

He didn't completely blow it initially -- he got back to her place and fooled around. Leaving in the morning was STUPID though. Stay there, make some breakfast, and talk it over with her. Don't let her characterize the whole thing as a drunken mistake first. Get across that you like her and that while it's wasn't the best way to start a relationship (when BOTH of you are drunk -- if you say when SHE was drunk it's going to up the "you're a whore" factor), you'd still be interested in one. Somehow do all that without coming across as love-struck loser.

Tall order to pull that off correctly, but [censored]... better than leaving her there alone and E-MAILING HER LATER.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
sadly for who? not the other 10%

[/ QUOTE ]

heh, good point

[rusellmj]

[ QUOTE ]
He didn't completely blow it initially -- he got back to her place and fooled around. Leaving in the morning was STUPID though. Stay there, make some breakfast, and talk it over with her. Don't let her characterize the whole thing as a drunken mistake first. Get across that you like her and that while it's wasn't the best way to start a relationship (when BOTH of you are drunk -- if you say when SHE was drunk it's going to up the "you're a whore" factor), you'd still be interested in one. Somehow do all that without coming across as love-struck loser.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMFG. Hey how about throwing in some free therapy too. Maybe watch Dr. Phil together.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
sadly for who? not the other 10%

[/ QUOTE ]

heh, good point

[/ QUOTE ]
Actually, I've gone from pissed off at the OP, to cheered right up /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[uw_madtown]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
He didn't completely blow it initially -- he got back to her place and fooled around. Leaving in the morning was STUPID though. Stay there, make some breakfast, and talk it over with her. Don't let her characterize the whole thing as a drunken mistake first. Get across that you like her and that while it's wasn't the best way to start a relationship (when BOTH of you are drunk -- if you say when SHE was drunk it's going to up the "you're a whore" factor), you'd still be interested in one. Somehow do all that without coming across as love-struck loser.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMFG. Hey how about throwing in some free therapy too. Maybe watch Dr. Phil together.

[/ QUOTE ]

Before I reply, I was just about to fire one off saying that I think your line is better.

But seriously, WTF? I'm not talking about a heart to heart in-depth conversation here. I know it doesn't come across well in text, but you can do all that in a casual manner. Hence the "Somehow do all that without coming across as love-struck loser" part. Basic points include:

- don't let her talk first
- casually say something about how you had a great time drinking with her last night and would like to see her again
- if she then acts/talks like it's a mistake, then shrug it off and move on to the next

Basically, your note but in person.

[rusellmj]

I guess my point is we're adults here. No one needs their hand held.

[uw_madtown]

Oh, I thought you were bashing my line, rather than the fact that I spelled it out a bit for OP.

I'd agree, but... I mean, he was considering e-mailing her. Clearly hand-holding is necessary.

[Victor]

dude, even i wouldnt [censored] this one up.

[rusellmj]

I forgot about the email. After thinking about it for two seconds, that would seriously suck.

[TripleH68]

[ QUOTE ]
I have an issue with a girl and was hoping to illicit the advice of the ever-wise OOT forum.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did anyone else notice this?

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have an issue with a girl and was hoping to illicit the advice of the ever-wise OOT forum.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did anyone else notice this?

[/ QUOTE ]
yep. It's called a Freudian slap

[Brainwalter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have an issue with a girl and was hoping to illicit the advice of the ever-wise OOT forum.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did anyone else notice this?

[/ QUOTE ]
yep. It's called a Freudian slap

[/ QUOTE ]

"slip" <font color="white"> OMG you thought I was serious? </font>

TTIWWOP

[CardSharpCook]

[ QUOTE ]
dude, even i wouldnt [censored] this one up.

[/ QUOTE ]

dude, you stole me line.

Oh, and you can change my 2 to a 9, as I too am a [censored].

[wdeadwyler]

[ QUOTE ]

jesus, if you assholes had to deal with the problems i have your litte brains would explode!

[/ QUOTE ]

If you arent gonna explain this further don't waste our time with this holier than thou crap.

[sublime]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

jesus, if you assholes had to deal with the problems i have your litte brains would explode!

[/ QUOTE ]

If you arent gonna explain this further don't waste our time with this holier than thou crap.

[/ QUOTE ]

i am a nuclear engineer

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
We didn't have sex

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
might have made her feel like a whore

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it.

[Jules22]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

jesus, if you assholes had to deal with the problems i have your litte brains would explode!

[/ QUOTE ]

If you arent gonna explain this further don't waste our time with this holier than thou crap.

[/ QUOTE ]

i am a nuclear engineer

[/ QUOTE ]


lol!!

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We didn't have sex

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
might have made her feel like a whore

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Neither did he!

Giggidy-giggidy-Gig!

I feel the need to help out my fellow makers of girl problem-related posts...

1. Sleeping with her (and not in the way chuddo means it) and sticking around the next morning &gt; not sleeping with her and jetting before she wakes up. Waking up to an empty bed will make her feel like a whore even if you didn't [censored].
2. The massive awkwardness between you guys right now complicates things, to the point where it's gonna be really hard to pull off any other move than being direct and asking her out. So shrug aside the awkwardness for a moment and do it.