In my prime

[cjmewett]

Yesterday morning on the sportsradio station I listen to, one of the hosts was being congratulated on his 40th birthday. Conversation ensued about how he didn't feel old, "40 is the new 30," that guys in their twenties really have no idea what's going on and for the most part aren't all that settled or happy. It got me to thinking...

I've often heard the same thing from older friends, though we clearly define our happiness in different ways; indeed, I suppose that's a fundamental part of the transition. The argument seems to center around the idea that at some point in life, a man is young enough to still feel good physically, look good and be attractive to women, but old enough to be secure in himself, professionally and/or financially settled, and generally more self-confident.

When I was 20, I "dated" a woman that was 38; she continually said things like "I wish I could see you when you were 30," and is really the first one to have planted the idea in my head that one's prime could really be anything other than 18-21. So what do you think, OOT? What's your prime? Are you past it? Is it coming up? How do you know you're there? What did you have to do to get there? Answers might differ for single v. married, might be dependent on career choice or some other mitigating factor, so feel free to elaborate on your circumstances.

[turnipmonster]

this is the type of thing that's different for everyone, a few weeks ago there was a thread about how it's all downhill after college, but for me the opposite was true.

--turnipmonster

[cjmewett]

[ QUOTE ]
this is the type of thing that's different for everyone, a few weeks ago there was a thread about how it's all downhill after college, but for me the opposite was true.

--turnipmonster

[/ QUOTE ]...which is sort of the reason I thought it might make an interesting thread.

[diebitter]

I think you hit different primes at different times.

Physical prime - teens or twenties (exception being guys that are slobs but start working out later in life)

Mental prime - twenties (but can be maintained, depending on your job. If it's lively, mentally challenging and stimulating, you'll maintain that prime, I'd say)

Emotional prime - This varies wildly, and really depends on the sort of person you are, who you're with, family, kids etc etc Generally, the older you get, the better it is, up to maybe physical abilities start to fade. Maybe.

'Wisdom' prime - I think this really continues to grow with age, or you just haven't got it at all (there's lotsa older people with none at all, I'm sure)

There's also a prime time where your experience powerfully combines with your job/life, and I'd say that's probably thirties/forties.


This is all off the top of my head, and I reserve the right to contradict myself, and still be understood.

[pokergrader]

After the quarter-life crisis and before the mid-life crisis.

[drewjustdrew]

Chances are, if you are in your prime, you are not spending time thinking about it. You are too busy being in your prime. I think you won't know until it is gone. But it can probably come back again.

[utmt40]

I was in my prime physical condition at age 18. Mentally prime would be right now at age 23.

[kenberman]

in my prime, I was the best NHL 94 (Sega) player in the world.

yup, the world. I really think so.

I'm fairly certain I'll never be able to make that claim about anything else, so I guess my prime was sophomore year at college.

[lu_hawk]

I am definitely not in my prime now. If you defined my prime as how many girls I got then I would have to say it occured when I was 15-18. I also think it is very likely that I eclipse my past prime when I hit my late 20's because there is a good chance I will be much richer than i am now. I am 25 now.

[turnipmonster]

I know that for me every year for a while now (I'm 29) I've felt I'm in better physical and mental shape than the year before.

[Blarg]

Either five years old or 19. I was much smarter at 19 and infinitely more physically capable.

However, I think my personality is in many ways better now. Growing older tends to make many of us intolerant and/or smug and figure we know it all(shades of being a teenager). But it makes many of us more accepting of people and their flaws, and less quick to feel confused or threatened by their differences, or judge them harshly for them. Our self-image isn't so much at stake anymore, and that makes us less likely to seek every opportunity to be jerks.

I think I may be closer to the prime of some kind of maturity of that nature now. I used to be commonly described as very intense. Now I'm no hero, but I'm more laid back and forgiving of both myself and others.

But cuts don't heal as fast, and I can tell my brain doesn't work as quickly as it used to. I used to have a laserlike focus and felt there was nothing I couldn't learn. That's nowhere near what it was, now.

[MrMon]

You might be in your prime, but happiness goes to hell. Not that things are bad in your 40s, a lot of things are going great, but the stresses of life are probably at their max. Between kids, spouse, career, aging parents, debt, and inevitable physical changes, your 40s often feel like a treadmill even though you've gotten just about everything you wanted and worked for. You look back and your 20s were such a carefree, easy time.

But I wouldn't trade what I've got for anything.

[Blarg]

Heh my 20's were hellish. I'm so glad I'm past them.

[ QUOTE ]
So what do you think, OOT? What's your prime? Are you past it?

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img327.imageshack.us/img327/7250/sonogram4vl.jpg

[MrWookie47]

[ QUOTE ]
Either five years old or 19. I was much smarter at 19 and infinitely more physically capable.

However, I think my personality is in many ways better now. Growing older tends to make many of us intolerant and/or smug and figure we know it all(shades of being a teenager). But it makes many of us more accepting of people and their flaws, and less quick to feel confused or threatened by their differences, or judge them harshly for them. Our self-image isn't so much at stake anymore, and that makes us less likely to seek every opportunity to be jerks.

I think I may be closer to the prime of some kind of maturity of that nature now. I used to be commonly described as very intense. Now I'm no hero, but I'm more laid back and forgiving of both myself and others.

But cuts don't heal as fast, and I can tell my brain doesn't work as quickly as it used to. I used to have a laserlike focus and felt there was nothing I couldn't learn. That's nowhere near what it was, now.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess we have to make concessions about how many we can take if those five year olds are in their prime. I bet DS is glad the past version of Blarg wouldn't be in the match with him.

[Blarg]

Heh there are definitely different kinds of prime.

[Shajen]

My prime:

mentally: 24
physically: 23
spiritually: 30
financially: 30

I turn 31 in a couple months...

[ElSapo]

[ QUOTE ]
I know that for me every year for a while now (I'm 29) I've felt I'm in better physical and mental shape than the year before.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought you were much older. Huh.

[radek2166]

I am way past my prime. I am much wiser now though

[cjmewett]

[ QUOTE ]
You might be in your prime, but happiness goes to hell. Not that things are bad in your 40s, a lot of things are going great, but the stresses of life are probably at their max. Between kids, spouse, career, aging parents, debt, and inevitable physical changes, your 40s often feel like a treadmill even though you've gotten just about everything you wanted and worked for. You look back and your 20s were such a carefree, easy time.

But I wouldn't trade what I've got for anything.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is an interesting point, and part of what I was looking for. I think if you're overwhelmed by stress and anxiety, it's hard to say that you're in your emotional or psychological prime. Part of this is a function of personality type more than age, but worth considering I think. A lot of people talk about their wonderful, carefree twenties, but I'm 26 and generally miserable. I look forward to the time when I'm 55 and my life is like a JP Morgan commercial.

[Blarg]

Getting older can definitely have a lot of cool things about it, depending on your personality type.

[turnipmonster]

that's weird in person usually ppl think I am younger.

[HopeydaFish]

When I was a teenager I hated school, I hated my parents, I hated my part-time job, I hated most of my friends...basically I hated everything and was miserable all the time. If it wasn't for the little bit of tail that I was getting, I'd have had no joy in my life at all.

When I was in my twenties, I was working full-time at a horrible soul-sucking job, and going to school part-time to get my degree. I had no idea what I was going to do after I left school, I was broke all the time, I had no free time to have fun, and I grew apart from many of the friends I had from high school (and didn't make many friends in University because I was mostly going to school at night). I wasn't as miserable as I was in high school, but I definitely wasn't happy.

Now that I'm 31, I'm working at a job that pays fairly well but doesn't involve me working more than 40 hours a week. I have lots of free time to play sports and to go out. I've made more friends than I've ever had in my life. I don't worry about money anymore and am debt-free. Most importantly, I'm happy with who I am...which I hadn't been since about my 12th birthday or so.

So I think that *this* is my prime. However, if I could go back and redo my life up to now, I would have done many things differently, and my prime may have come sooner as a result.

[xadrez]

I consider the night I ate 56 chicken wings as the peak of my prime.

[CCass]

Johnny Ringo: And you must be Doc Holliday.
Doc Holliday: That's the rumor.
Johnny Ringo: You retired too?
Doc Holliday: Not me, I'm in my prime.