I think god hates me

So I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I play in this home game about 30 miles away twice a week. I brave the Minnasota cold to drive out there, which isn't really all that bad when you drive a new mercedes-bens C230 (don't be jealous, I am really good at poker /images/graemlins/wink.gif ) either way, driving it makes the ride go by really fast. So the buy-in is $25 and we have about 20 people who entered this tourney. Each player starts out with 1500 in chips, just like an online tourney.

I am destroying people from the first hand. I am at the final table, 5 players left. I am 3rd in chips. I am dealt A /images/graemlins/heart.gifK /images/graemlins/heart.gif and am big blind. Guy in late pos, lets call him "Eminem" as he....ummm...."bore a slight resemblance" (physically and in attire and actions) raises 3times the BB. no callers when it gets to me. He is chip leader and an enormous Marlin...the kind that you definitely have the natives beat to death with baseball bats so that you can take him home and hang on the wall of your family room to not only display your masculinity, but to also remind you of your trip to whatever exotic island.

I reraise to 10x the BB, and Eminem yells "Dis one's fa mah daughta" and calls.
Flop is A /images/graemlins/spade.gifK /images/graemlins/club.gif9 /images/graemlins/heart.gif
I am more than happy with that flop. I check to him, he makes a small bet, I push. he says "Yo sorry dawg, but dis hand is just 2 good to fold, I jus GOTSA call..." I am so excited that I am almost peeing my pants, it was either the excitment or the 8 beers in 2 hours with no bathroom break. He tables A /images/graemlins/club.gifJ /images/graemlins/spade.gif with authority. I modestly show my A /images/graemlins/heart.gifK /images/graemlins/heart.gif. He is silent for the first time all night, he is not even singing along to the rap music anymore. Then it happens.....

Turn: J /images/graemlins/heart.gif

River: J /images/graemlins/diamond.gif

A whole lot of hooting and hollering ensues, I can't understand a word of it as I don't speak jive. But I stand up from the table like Mikey being pulled up by Knish.

As I am leaving, he says, "I knew I would win wif dat hand" I just laugh and enjoy my drunk drive home knowing that the tires on his "pimp-ass ride" (87 civic with mild body damage on 12" gold 100 spoke wheels) won't get him anywhere because "someone /images/graemlins/cool.gif" cut them with a knife.

Either way, the moral of the story: "God loves to hate me, I had to stop on my way home to pee, and happy birthday Santa."

[KSOT]

You... slashed someones tires over a bad beat in a $25 tourney? Seek help freak.

[jman220]

[ QUOTE ]
So I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I play in this home game about 30 miles away twice a week. I brave the Minnasota cold to drive out there, which isn't really all that bad when you drive a new mercedes-bens C230 (don't be jealous, I am really good at poker /images/graemlins/wink.gif ) either way, driving it makes the ride go by really fast. So the buy-in is $25 and we have about 20 people who entered this tourney. Each player starts out with 1500 in chips, just like an online tourney.

I am destroying people from the first hand. I am at the final table, 5 players left. I am 3rd in chips. I am dealt A /images/graemlins/heart.gifK /images/graemlins/heart.gif and am big blind. Guy in late pos, lets call him "Eminem" as he....ummm...."bore a slight resemblance" (physically and in attire and actions) raises 3times the BB. no callers when it gets to me. He is chip leader and an enormous Marlin...the kind that you definitely have the natives beat to death with baseball bats so that you can take him home and hang on the wall of your family room to not only display your masculinity, but to also remind you of your trip to whatever exotic island.

I reraise to 10x the BB, and Eminem yells "Dis one's fa mah daughta" and calls.
Flop is A /images/graemlins/spade.gifK /images/graemlins/club.gif9 /images/graemlins/heart.gif
I am more than happy with that flop. I check to him, he makes a small bet, I push. he says "Yo sorry dawg, but dis hand is just 2 good to fold, I jus GOTSA call..." I am so excited that I am almost peeing my pants, it was either the excitment or the 8 beers in 2 hours with no bathroom break. He tables A /images/graemlins/club.gifJ /images/graemlins/spade.gif with authority. I modestly show my A /images/graemlins/heart.gifK /images/graemlins/heart.gif. He is silent for the first time all night, he is not even singing along to the rap music anymore. Then it happens.....

Turn: J /images/graemlins/heart.gif

River: J /images/graemlins/diamond.gif

A whole lot of hooting and hollering ensues, I can't understand a word of it as I don't speak jive. But I stand up from the table like Mikey being pulled up by Knish.

As I am leaving, he says, "I knew I would win wif dat hand" I just laugh and enjoy my drunk drive home knowing that the tires on his "pimp-ass ride" (87 civic with mild body damage on 12" gold 100 spoke wheels) won't get him anywhere because "someone /images/graemlins/cool.gif" cut them with a knife.

Either way, the moral of the story: "God loves to hate me, I had to stop on my way home to pee, and happy birthday Santa."

[/ QUOTE ]

At least you didn't get sucked out on by a pocket pair like aces or kings.

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You... slashed someones tires over a bad beat in a $25 tourney? Seek help freak.

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Hmmm, knowing that I did that over a $25 tourney, you make the decision to call me a "freak" ?!?!?! You are some kind of genius.

Oh god, I know, that would have just been dumb, especially if they only raised by 3x the BB preflop. MAN DO I HATE POCKET PAIRS!!!!

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I just laugh and enjoy my drunk drive home...


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You shouldn't be drinking and driving /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

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I just laugh and enjoy my drunk drive home...


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You shouldn't be drinking and driving /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

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dude, it was totally cool, like i said, it was a long drive, plenty of time to sober up

[Escape]

More reports about drunken driving and being an ass please, but only when there is a MERCEDES BENS C1337LOLROFL2k5 involved.

[KeysrSoze]

[ QUOTE ]
I just laugh and enjoy my drunk drive home knowing that the tires on his "pimp-ass ride" (87 civic with mild body damage on 12" gold 100 spoke wheels) won't get him anywhere because "someone /images/graemlins/cool.gif" cut them with a knife.

[/ QUOTE ]

Evil. Diabolically, splendidly, magnificently Evil.

Are you welcome at that game anymore? Even if I didn't like the "Eminem" dude, I wouldn't want some corny suburban Benz Boy slashing my guests' tires.

[jman220]

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Are you welcome at that game anymore? Even if I didn't like the "Eminem" dude, I wouldn't want some corny suburban Benz Boy slashing my guests' tires.

[/ QUOTE ]

And your first post was so promising...

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More reports about drunken driving and being an ass please, but only when there is a MERCEDES BENS C1337LOLROFL2k5 involved.

[/ QUOTE ]

well if its being an ass involving a Mercedes Bens you want, this is my favorite thing to do....

when i go to a big house party, i park it right in front of the party where i know there will be people around. then i get loaded, and drunkenly stumble outside and cause a scene then yell "i am gonna piss on this guy's bens...;look at this yuppie's car, 'oh i am sooooo cool, i drive a mercedes, i think i am better than everyone ooooohhhhh ohhhh'" then i begin to urinate on it until someone tries to make a scene about it, then i challenge them to fisticuffs.... but first i say "let me just make sure my car is locked first" i click the lights then they are dumbfounded and i win

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we have about 20 people

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I am at the final table

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way to go /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[jman220]

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[ QUOTE ]
More reports about drunken driving and being an ass please, but only when there is a MERCEDES BENS C1337LOLROFL2k5 involved.

[/ QUOTE ]

well if its being an ass involving a Mercedes Bens you want, this is my favorite thing to do....

when i go to a big house party, i park it right in front of the party where i know there will be people around. then i get loaded, and drunkenly stumble outside and cause a scene then yell "i am gonna piss on this guy's bens...;look at this yuppie's car, 'oh i am sooooo cool, i drive a mercedes, i think i am better than everyone ooooohhhhh ohhhh'" then i begin to urinate on it until someone tries to make a scene about it, then i challenge them to fisticuffs.... but first i say "let me just make sure my car is locked first" i click the lights then they are dumbfounded and i win

[/ QUOTE ]

pwned1!

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Are you welcome at that game anymore? Even if I didn't like the "Eminem" dude, I wouldn't want some corny suburban Benz Boy slashing my guests' tires.

[/ QUOTE ]

do you really think they knew it was me who slashed the tires??? here's what i did, i went outside after losing, slashed his tires, then walked back in and said "yo eminem or whatever, i just wanted to let you know that i was pissed about losing that hand so i went ouside and cut your tires, so you should probably find a ride home or something" of course i am welcome back, i am the dumb suburban kid with the mercedes who comes out to lose money.....wouldnt you want me back???

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we have about 20 people

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I am at the final table

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way to go /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

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yup i made it all the way to the final table

you sir, are a delight, simply a delight, and i offer 1000 prayers for your journeys...speaking of Journey, just caught them in concert about a month back.....they were FREALY NAUGHTY

i should add, that any bodily function will do, number 1, 2, or 3....(3 = vomit)

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More reports about drunken driving and being an ass please, but only when there is a MERCEDES BENS C1337LOLROFL2k5 involved.

[/ QUOTE ]

well if its being an ass involving a Mercedes Bens you want, this is my favorite thing to do....

when i go to a big house party, i park it right in front of the party where i know there will be people around. then i get loaded, and drunkenly stumble outside and cause a scene then yell "i am gonna piss on this guy's bens...;look at this yuppie's car, 'oh i am sooooo cool, i drive a mercedes, i think i am better than everyone ooooohhhhh ohhhh'" then i begin to urinate on it until someone tries to make a scene about it, then i challenge them to fisticuffs.... but first i say "let me just make sure my car is locked first" i click the lights then they are dumbfounded and i win

[/ QUOTE ]

pwned1!

[/ QUOTE ]

i hope you enjoyed that jmann, i only wish to please you

[DarthIgnurnt]

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You shouldn't be driving a Mercedes unless you can afford a real one.

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FYP.

Oh, and seek help freak.

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You shouldn't be driving a Mercedes unless you can afford a real one.

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FYP.

Oh, and seek help freak.

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Well ouch!!! Not that it hurt, but it just wasnt very nice. And I guess my only retort would be... "my FAKE Mercedes, is better than the POS you drive," and for clarification, its not the little coupe/hatchback one, its the kompressor in a 6 speed on alloy 16's. So there, I know tomorrow is "taste it tuesday" but you just got served so you can start a day early...

-g-