06-16-2002, 10:22 AM
The battle fatigued SPM was sent to the rear lines late last week for some R&R and a stay at the poker nut house, for recovering bad beaten poker players. The doctors had the SPM in group therapy but he attached two members of the group, because they looked like some of the bad beat artists he had been playing with. Now in individual therapy with the famous Doctor Uneedthenuts Towin, progress is moving along slowly. Unable to stop his head from shacking back and forth in disbelief, a poker disease called, River Hysteria. Doctor U believes he may be able to cure the SPM in fifteen or sixteen years.
Sock therapy is going well reports Doctor U. The patient can now look at pocket aces without breaking into a cold sweat. However, pocket kings puts him into a hypnotic trance and he keeps mumbling, the ace, the ace, the ace! Drug therapy was recommend but, it slowed his libido and the Suburban Poker Widow put a stop to its use. She said, "he's not around that much anyway and without a libido, what good is he to me."
The nightmares still haunt the SPM's dreams, the most damaging dream, having his pocket aces being beaten by pocket duces with the nut flush at the river. Sometimes he wakes up screaming, "Lady Luck, I love you!" The Suburban Poker Widow adds to his stress after that dream, with a bucket of cold water and the comment, "you cheating bastard!" They are now in marriage counseling as well. Shrink bills are mounting and their medical insurance is denying to pay the claims. They have proof the SPM was not paying the Shrinks but using the money to play poker.
SPM,...the river, the river, oh no!...
Sock therapy is going well reports Doctor U. The patient can now look at pocket aces without breaking into a cold sweat. However, pocket kings puts him into a hypnotic trance and he keeps mumbling, the ace, the ace, the ace! Drug therapy was recommend but, it slowed his libido and the Suburban Poker Widow put a stop to its use. She said, "he's not around that much anyway and without a libido, what good is he to me."
The nightmares still haunt the SPM's dreams, the most damaging dream, having his pocket aces being beaten by pocket duces with the nut flush at the river. Sometimes he wakes up screaming, "Lady Luck, I love you!" The Suburban Poker Widow adds to his stress after that dream, with a bucket of cold water and the comment, "you cheating bastard!" They are now in marriage counseling as well. Shrink bills are mounting and their medical insurance is denying to pay the claims. They have proof the SPM was not paying the Shrinks but using the money to play poker.
SPM,...the river, the river, oh no!...