Stupid Names

My mother is a school teacher, and she is always telling me about kids she has with strange names. There was this one girl in her class that the kids called "Iwilla". This is a strange name, but she later found out that the girl's name on her birth certificate was "IwillriseandshineforJesusChrist Jones". Who would do this? Does anybody else out there know somebody whose parents subjected them to a lifetime of mockery because of a dumb name?

[Big_Jim]

From the book Freakonomics (http://www.freakonomics.com/)

[censored] (Pronounced Shih-theed) Johnson
Twins named OrangeJello and LemonJello

There were more, but I don't have the book in front of me.

Pretty sure the entire Phoenix family qualifies. Also, anyone with a generic name with a non-generic spelling (Chone Figgins) inspires my mockery.

[MonkeeMan]

Guy I worked with whose name was Dick Seeman (no lie).
Laughter would ensue when he was paged over the speaker system. Why he didn't go by Richard or Rich I'll never know, maybe Dick was not a nickname.

[kyro]

This kid I work with is named Shawn (or Shaun, not sure) Vancourt. But for some reason I thought his last name was Vachon. And I started thinking how awesome of a name that would be. Shawn Vachon. I wish my last name was Vachon so I could name my kid Shawn.

Shawn Vachon.

[Georgia Avenue]

I know some kids from college (bro & sis) named Lady Elizabeth and Lord Gregory. Their mom was a gigantic hippie. Liz was smart enough to get it changed but the dude refused to do it. Somehow, he was not a total dbagger...he just had the name of one...

[Bradyams]

When I was younger my Dad had a golf buddy named Dick Little. What's even funnier is everytime he called the house the caller ID showed, "Little Dick". As a 12 year old I was quite amused by that.

[trotski]

Zappa family qualifies as well.

[PoBoy321]

This girl came into work yesterday to apply for a job and her name was Shakita. When I first met her, I was like "Shakita, you mean like the banana?" That didn't go over too well.

[tdarko]

the lady that checked me out today at the grocery store's name was "Moonbeam," i think she thought i was staring at her breasts but i really just kept reading her name tag over and over making sure i was reading it correctly.

[diebitter]

I had a textbook about Microsoft's Visual C++ once written by Buck Forland.

Borland was the company who was the nearest competitor in C++ programming at the time. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[DrSavage]

Dikshit comes to mind.

[swede123]

Moonbeam eh? I knew a Sunshine once. Perhaps girls with names like that would double up on a guy like me.

Swede

They all mean "African Princess"

[youtalkfunny]

A couple of local radio guys here in Memphis, Drake and Zeke, had a daily feature called the "Bad Baby Name of the Day", where they would read one baby name per day. They were all true, taken from newspaper birth announcements.

D&Z left the market last year, so I haven't heard their show in a while, and I can't think of one single baby name they did. Maybe some Memphis OOT'ers can help me out here. (They used to log them on the Rock103's website, but the D&Z links there are gone).

Names like Shining Star Johnson and Youdaman Jones.

[pokerdirty]

The people that named their kids 'Esp(e)n'.

and then got a 3 minute story on SportsCenter

[CollinEstes]

When I was younger I always wanted to name my son Crash Danger Estes. Crash after bull Durham and Danger just say he could say "Danger is my middle name." Pretty lame but still funny to me.

[4_2_it]

Can't believe no one has mentioned NASCAR legend Dick Trickle yet.

[dcasper70]

[ QUOTE ]
Guy I worked with whose name was Dick Seeman (no lie).
Laughter would ensue when he was paged over the speaker system. Why he didn't go by Richard or Rich I'll never know, maybe Dick was not a nickname.

[/ QUOTE ]

'Rich Seeman' is no prize either...

[LittleOldLady]

[ QUOTE ]
From the book Freakonomics (http://www.freakonomics.com/)

[censored] (Pronounced Shih-theed) Johnson
Twins named OrangeJello and LemonJello

There were more, but I don't have the book in front of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are urban legends. See snopes.com.

[LittleOldLady]

[ QUOTE ]
My mother is a school teacher, and she is always telling me about kids she has with strange names. There was this one girl in her class that the kids called "Iwilla". This is a strange name, but she later found out that the girl's name on her birth certificate was "IwillriseandshineforJesusChrist Jones". Who would do this? Does anybody else out there know somebody whose parents subjected them to a lifetime of mockery because of a dumb name?

[/ QUOTE ]

That sort of name goes back to the Puritan era. There was the "Barebones" parliament named after one of its members: Praise-God-from-Whom-All-Blessings-Flow Barebones.

Personally I think Huck Seed and his brothers have pretty funny names. Years ago when I worked in a library, a family of children would come in for picture books: Jonathan, Baldwin, McIntosh, and Snow Apple.

Today children's names are so, um, individual that you only get teased on the playground if your name is Jane or Tom.

[mason55]

[ QUOTE ]
This kid I work with is named Shawn (or Shaun, not sure) Vancourt. But for some reason I thought his last name was Vachon. And I started thinking how awesome of a name that would be. Shawn Vachon. I wish my last name was Vachon so I could name my kid Shawn.

Shawn Vachon.

[/ QUOTE ]

I knew a kid in school name Larry Carrey. Always thought that was funny.

I once voted for a man named Dick Small.

Much better, my step-father once knew a family whose last name was Trout. The children were named Brook, Golden, and Rainbow.

My aunt teaches kindergarten

This year, she has a child who is a black small person (midget) and his name is Sincere.

No lie.

[sleight]

I finally found the Onion Most Popular Baby Names (http://img279.imageshack.us/img279/8599/onionbabynames1xh.jpg) again

True story. My aunt is a kindergarten teacher in an inner-city school. She once had a child in her class named Ethessalonians Quintet Pettaway. Naturally, when time came to teach the kids how to write their names, she thought no way is this little kid gonna be able to learn that big name. So she calls the kid's Mom, and asks if he has a nickname that he could learn to write, for now. Response - "Oh, sure, 'round here we just calls him Cool J!" So the kid learned to write Cool J.

[jacki]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
From the book Freakonomics (http://www.freakonomics.com/)

[censored] (Pronounced Shih-theed) Johnson
Twins named OrangeJello and LemonJello

There were more, but I don't have the book in front of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are urban legends. See snopes.com.

[/ QUOTE ]


And here's a link, you gullible fvcks. (http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.htm)

[manpower]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
From the book Freakonomics (http://www.freakonomics.com/)

[censored] (Pronounced Shih-theed) Johnson
Twins named OrangeJello and LemonJello

There were more, but I don't have the book in front of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are urban legends. See snopes.com.

[/ QUOTE ]


And here's a link, you gullible fvcks. (http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.htm)

[/ QUOTE ]

For the record, the author does identify Orangejello and lemonjello as having not been verified by social securty data, but also says that he learned of the names firsthand from "Doug McAdams, a socialogist at Standford University, who swears he met the twin boys at a grocery store" (i'm looking at the book). Anyway, do the boys exist? Probably.

Shih-theed? That one may be fake; the source is someone who called into a radio show complaining about the name given to her new baby neice.

Gullible [censored]? I take offense to that. What's the need for the condescension? The link doesn't even say the names are fake.

[jacki]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
From the book Freakonomics (http://www.freakonomics.com/)

[censored] (Pronounced Shih-theed) Johnson
Twins named OrangeJello and LemonJello

There were more, but I don't have the book in front of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are urban legends. See snopes.com.

[/ QUOTE ]


And here's a link, you gullible fvcks. (http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.htm)

[/ QUOTE ]

For the record, the author does identify Orangejello and lemonjello as having not been verified by social securty data, but also says that he learned of the names firsthand from "Doug McAdams, a socialogist at Standford University, who swears he met the twin boys at a grocery store" (i'm looking at the book). Anyway, do the boys exist? Probably.

Shih-theed? That one may be fake; the source is someone who called into a radio show complaining about the name given to her new baby neice.

Gullible [censored]? I take offense to that. What's the need for the condescension? The link doesn't even say the names are fake.

[/ QUOTE ]

"But because the story fits in with what's already believed about the shortcomings of whichever group the mother is supposedly part of, the tale will be re-told and believed anew."

[LondonBroil]

My wife used to work at a daycare. One day she came home and explained to me they had a new girl in that day. Her name was $hithead (pronounced shi-THEED). Seriously, who the hell names their kid that?

[PoBoy321]

[ QUOTE ]

"But because the story fits in with what's already believed about the shortcomings of whichever group the mother is supposedly part of, the tale will be re-told and believed anew."

[/ QUOTE ]

So based on that statement, Snopes has just made it impossible that anyone would ever have a ridiculous name? Also, I would tend to give the word of a Stanford sociologist some weight.

[ QUOTE ]
Pretty sure the entire Phoenix family qualifies. Also, anyone with a generic name with a non-generic spelling (Chone Figgins) inspires my mockery.

[/ QUOTE ]

Chone Figgins' given name is Desmond.... his middle name is DeChone, which is where Chone comes from.
Baseball Reference (http://www.baseball-reference.com/f/figgich01.shtml)

[M2d]

there's a family named Silva who supposedly have three sons: "sterling","quick", and "hiho"

[youtalkfunny]

Can't believe I forgot this one:

Two poker dealers I know, brothers, went to see a comedy show. They were sitting up front, and the chick onstage decided it was time to do some improv:

COMEDIAN: You in the white shirt, what's your name?
SNAPPER: Snapper.
COMEDIAN: No, not your nickname, your real first name.
SNAPPER: It's Snapper.
COMEDIAN: No sh*t? Who's that guy next to you?
SNAPPER: My brother.
COMEDIAN: (to brother) What's your name?
HERCULES: Hercules.
COMEDIAN: No, not your nickname, your real name.
HERCULES: Hercules.
COMEDIAN: (pause)...What the [censored] were your parents thinking?

[tolbiny]

high school teacher, dick sac

Edit: his wife taugth french in middle school- Madamn sac is humerous to a lesser extent.

[young nut]

[ QUOTE ]
I had a textbook about Microsoft's Visual C++ once written by Buck Forland.

Borland was the company who was the nearest competitor in C++ programming at the time. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

hahahah, this is genious.

[Cancuk]

I grew up in a very liberal and hippie area, the following names are real:

Apple fairy blue feather
Swollow (she married a guy with the last name "Wood")
Eva november tree (eve of november)

[man]

what about gwyneth paltrow and coldplay dude's kid, apple? that name is clearly unfit for a human. although it would be funny if the kid went into a coma, because then it'd be a vegetable! lol, rofl etc

[sam h]

Oceana Miracle Blueskies

Dan Dan

[NutzyClutz]

According to zabasearch.com (I was bored) there are real ppl named, elmo tickle, Hugh Jass, Teddy Ruxpin, Helen Wait, Angel Dust, Art Craft, April Mae, Frank Furter, Ida Ho, O K Face, Liberty Belle, Lilly Field, Tiffiny Lamp, Barbie Doll herman munster, connie lingus, harold square, Red Light, Bunny Hare,lucky charm, rosy cheek
kiesha ash, anita dick, anita hoare, marvin martian, victor re, V. Agra, fred and wilma flintstone

[UCF THAYER]

My teacher in high school's name was Richard(Dick) Beaton, and he was gay.

[The once and future king]

Johny Cash was named Sue for a bit I think?