View Full Version : Dumbest crap ever uttered at poker table
Playing the world's softest 4/8 Omaha 1/2 kill game in the history of humankind tonight.
The button rivers a hand to complement his K /forums/images/icons/spade.gif J /forums/images/icons/diamond.gif 10 /forums/images/icons/spade.gif 3 /forums/images/icons/spade.gif . UTG+1 starts muttering while foaming at the mouth "How da phuck can he play dat crap?"...and then rolls over his 3 /forums/images/icons/club.gif 5 /forums/images/icons/diamond.gif 8 /forums/images/icons/diamond.gif 8 /forums/images/icons/heart.gif . I almost pissed myself.
Dan
Anybody else heard any deep thoughts such as this one at the table?
Dan
oddjob
07-21-2003, 07:00 PM
i was standing behind a guy who called a capped pot on every round with 2 small offsuit 1 gappers, flopped a gutshot and missed on the river, threw his cards in the much and yelled i never hit!
thomastem
07-22-2003, 03:40 PM
I ask people if they want to pet my goat.
Ulysses
07-22-2003, 06:47 PM
This is second-hand, so it might not be accurate, but if true, it's pretty hilarious.
As the story goes, a buddy of mine heard DanS say "I'm going to go play the 20-40."
That's gotta be right up there...
haakee
07-22-2003, 08:02 PM
The version I heard was that an extremely tilted DanS who was playing in what was described as THE BEST GARDEN CITY 8-16 GAME EVER said, "I'm going to play the 20-40" (which was far from the best 20-40 game ever)
onegymrat
07-23-2003, 01:35 AM
Playing a 6-12 at Bicycle on a Sunday afternoon. Ragged old man to my right turns to me and asks, "What time is it?" I check my watch and reply, "About a quarter to four." He ponders for a moment and then continues with, "What day is it?" After I answer him, I couldn't stop laughing for two minutes.
Extremely tilted? Naw, I only tilt when I'm winning. Not when I'm stuck four racks in an 8-16 that a trained monkey could beat for $25/hr.
P.S.
Don't make me tell the "how AK lost to 37 on a K66 rainbow flop bad beat story" again, cuz I will. /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif
bad beetz
07-24-2003, 03:09 AM
I was in the Bellagio poker room. Avarice(Taylor) from RGP asked me if the 30/60 used time charges as we were walking by it. I replied, "well, they DO use blinds," with an intonation that made it sound like HE was the idiot. Then I promptly walked into the girls bathroom.
Avarice
07-24-2003, 07:58 PM
You'd think this was one of beetz' regular crazy-ass comments at the end of the post. But he really did follow up that one-liner by trying to walk in the girls bathroom. I should have let him.
Hello,
Couple of years ago I am in a small stud game at Mohegan. It was pretty late at night and the room was pretty quiet. Well we had an older,rather rude/obnoxious gentleman at our table!!
Anywhoo,
A rather young,pretty,and large chested woman walked by our table. The obnoxious old man said ( much too loud! )...
"Chick has a nice rack!"
Well the young woman heard him. Stopped dead in her tracks. Did a complete 180 and came to our table.
She scoots her way between the poker table and his chair and sits on his lap. Takes her hand and grabs his crotch. She says....
"I might have a nice rack..but you have apparantly have a small,shriveled dick cause I don't feel a fuc*in thing As*hole!!"
She gets up and walks out of the poker room!
Old man was so embarressed he got up, grab his checks and left right after her.
Funniest freakin thing I EVER saw in my life!!!!!
I laughed for months over that one..
CJ
Al Mirpuri
07-28-2003, 11:49 AM
This will not top CJC's old man story, but here goes.
At our home game, on an occasion I was not present, everyone was waiting for Terry to make his bet. Terry was doped out of his head as one or two others may have been. Well, they wait and wait but Terry is showing no sign of making his bet. Finally, someone says, 'Terry, it's you to bet.' Well, Terry looks up and says, 'Who the [censored] is Terry?'
[I'm laughing as I'm writing this.]
A friend of mine who's never made any attempt to study the game enjoys playing in an occasional low stakes poker game with other guys of similar skill. The way he tells it, a regular at the game folded, in agony, his hand on seventh street, playing a hand of baseball, saying "I've got three freaking wild cards and all I can make is this stupid straight!"
cardjunky
07-30-2003, 03:34 AM
I was playing here in L.A. in a 3-6 game a few years ago when i started playing (my 5th time at a poker club) when an old man at my table had a heart attack. He fell backwards everyone grabbed their chips we moved the table back about 10 feet so the paramedics could work on the man. We had a drunk at our table who found his seat at the newly moved table while the rest of us were still standing in shock. The paramedics zapped him a few times the right when they were about to jam an adreneline shot into his heart the drunk proceed to say real loud in this sureal quiet setting "SEAT OPEN"
crash
08-11-2003, 02:32 AM
He should have said "bring us a live one".
Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
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