06-10-2002, 08:41 AM
I received this email and thought it was amusing.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
>
>You have two cows.
>You sell one and buy a bull.
>Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
>You sell them and retire on the income.
>
>ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
>You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
>company,
>using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
>execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
>get
>all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights
>of
>the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
>company
>secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
>seven
>cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
>owns
>eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
>president
>of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet
>provided
>with the release.
>The public buys your bull.
>
>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION (also the BC Government model)
>You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
>of
>four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
>A FRENCH CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
>A JAPANESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
>an
>ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever
>cow
>cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
>
>A GERMAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
>once
>a month, and milk themselves.
>
>A BRITISH CORPORATION
>You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
>lunch.
>
>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
>count
>them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn
>you
>have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
>A SWISS CORPORATION
>You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
>storing them.
>
>A HINDU CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You worship them.
>
>A CHINESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
>employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
>reported
>the numbers.
>
>AN ALBERTA CORPORATION
>You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
>
>You have two cows.
>You sell one and buy a bull.
>Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
>You sell them and retire on the income.
>
>ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
>You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
>company,
>using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
>execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
>get
>all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights
>of
>the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
>company
>secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
>seven
>cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
>owns
>eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
>president
>of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet
>provided
>with the release.
>The public buys your bull.
>
>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION (also the BC Government model)
>You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
>of
>four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
>A FRENCH CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
>A JAPANESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
>an
>ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever
>cow
>cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
>
>A GERMAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
>once
>a month, and milk themselves.
>
>A BRITISH CORPORATION
>You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
>lunch.
>
>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
>count
>them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn
>you
>have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
>A SWISS CORPORATION
>You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
>storing them.
>
>A HINDU CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You worship them.
>
>A CHINESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
>employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
>reported
>the numbers.
>
>AN ALBERTA CORPORATION
>You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.