05-30-2002, 12:07 AM
I have posted before about my useless, spoiled, bad hip, fishhook and saran wrap eating, disobedient dog. I realized the other day that I have totally underestimated him. We were out on the back porch on Memorial Day grilling steaks. We had received an expensive wine as one of those gifts that get sent around by lawyers when they settle a case. The settlement calls for everybody to walk away losing and the lawyers send a bill. So they send each other booze and other prizes. HDPW got the bottle of expensive wine and her partner got the case of mediocre whiskey. Anyway, we are out on the porch grilling dead stuff and drinking the wine and the dog is engaged in a variation of window hunting. Window hunting is when he lies on a rug inside and looks out the back door hoping a bird or squirrel will come by. I have posted on this before. If he sees one he goes berserk, makes you let him out, runs after the creature he will never catch, and crashes into the fence at full speed hoping to get it anyway. Since we are outside he has dispensed with the window and is using his hut as a blind. He waits hoping something will come, then goes berserk and comes bolting out of his hut at full speed rushing madly about hoping to catch something.
Now a bird alights on the fence, and the dog goes after it. He runs along the fence and crashes when he runs out of room, causing the 6' fence to lean over and look like it will break, etc... The bird easily gets away of course. The dog then goes sniffing about for the bird and comes up to the porch where we are watching him to whine about not getting a bird, enough steak, or a glass of wine.
Ah, the bird comes back and HDPM sees it. He tells the dog to go get it, but the dog looks at him quizzically. So HDPM points out the bird. The dog doesn't get it. So HDPM really points at the bird. He is standing there pointing with his finger at the bird telling the dog to get it.
It takes a second for the irony to register to HDPM. He is pointing birds for a German Shorthaired POINTER. Anybody see anything wrong with this equation?
Finally, the dog gets it and goes careening into the fence again trying to get the bird. But HDPM is left knowing he is a complete idiot. The training never took for the dog, but the dog has now trained HDPM to point birds. A complete reversal. HDPM is totally defeated.
Well, the dog just came in here and is demanding something. I have to go now.
Now a bird alights on the fence, and the dog goes after it. He runs along the fence and crashes when he runs out of room, causing the 6' fence to lean over and look like it will break, etc... The bird easily gets away of course. The dog then goes sniffing about for the bird and comes up to the porch where we are watching him to whine about not getting a bird, enough steak, or a glass of wine.
Ah, the bird comes back and HDPM sees it. He tells the dog to go get it, but the dog looks at him quizzically. So HDPM points out the bird. The dog doesn't get it. So HDPM really points at the bird. He is standing there pointing with his finger at the bird telling the dog to get it.
It takes a second for the irony to register to HDPM. He is pointing birds for a German Shorthaired POINTER. Anybody see anything wrong with this equation?
Finally, the dog gets it and goes careening into the fence again trying to get the bird. But HDPM is left knowing he is a complete idiot. The training never took for the dog, but the dog has now trained HDPM to point birds. A complete reversal. HDPM is totally defeated.
Well, the dog just came in here and is demanding something. I have to go now.